Why do I hate trains and sometimes act like Im 5?

Question

This is a serious question. I'm 38, but when I get on a train if someone sits next to me i feel like I'm choking and I have to move. I don't hate people but when I have a girlfriend or a friend with me I'm fine and anyone can sit near me, its only when I'm on my own.

Also sometimes I get hurt and act like a child and say I hate myself or I'm dumb and stupid. I'm aware of this happening so i don't think its a dissociative disorder (my girlfriend has one). Its not a distinct identity, I don't think anyway.

I want to help myself but not sure how to go about it. Part of me does not want to change but my girlfriend isn't happy about my constant put downs and workmates notice. Ive always made myself the butt of jokes in the past and found it was a good way to get laughs. Now its no longer working for me but i don't know who I am.

What should I do?

Answer 1

maybe you fell a little insecure????

who knos

when i was 12 i had to ride the transit bus just to get to school

at first i kinda felt freaked out cus

i hadthe same feeling you had

but over time it kinda loosened up a bit

just relax and you'll be fine

Answer 2

Maybe you have a social phobia? This relating to the fact that you don't like a stranger sitting next to you on a train...