Why do I have I have to have everything wrong with me?

Question

I'm socialy phobic so find it hard to be my myself, I can't make phone calls, so at 22 I have only worked once for a space of a few months, and right now I'm unemployed with no money, having to borrow large amounts of money off people and feeling guilty. People think I'm just lazy, and I have to present a falsely happy face to people when I go out so I don't seem miserable or weird. I am years behind with my education because of poor attendance, and am only just struggling through each course. I've just started going out with someone but can't express my feelings with them because of fear. I only really have one/two set of clothes and my trousers have a hole in them now so when I'm invited out its embarrassing. I am overweight and can't stop comfort eating. I'm g*y as well.

My body really gets me down to the point where I don't believe I will ever be intimate with anyone. My b***s didn't grow- I'm an AA cup, which looks odd because I'm a size 14-16. Not only that but one side hasn't developed properly- its hypoplastic.

I have horrible toenails and I'm too embarrassed to see the doctor, it's a fungal infection I think. I won't even undress for the beach, I wear hoodies all the time.

And I have more intimate problems too which I won't go into but find it impossible to imagine someone touching me there (I'm a woman). I would just die.

I also have emotional issues because I fell in love with someone who does not love me back. I have been in love with them for 6 years now, and don't think I'll ever love someone else in the same way. It's totally broken my heart and until recently noone even knew.

I feel like life has made sure I will never be happy. Why me, I feel maybe if there's a God then he's making fun of me.

Answer 1

it seems as though you should consult a therapist about your low self-esteem. it could be that you have asberger's syndrome, a form of autism in which you lack social skills. perhaps you should eat a healthier diet and start exercising.  a healthier body figure means a healthier lifestyle which will make you feel better about yourself. congrats on you new gf! being homosexual doesnt categorize you as "something wrong with you." a lot of people encounter the same issues everyday that you are dealing with right now. dont worry, you aren't alone in this boat and a healthy/happy outlook on life will fix a lot of these issues. embrace life.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, my heart goes out to you, it really does. all I can say to you is this is never going to change for you until you seek the help of a good psychologist. soon. All the best getting over your problems.

Answer 3

you need to seek counseling for your self esteem....then you need to see a dr about meds for depression....i am a mom of 7....i have a daughter who is 36....married 2 kids and is as flat chested as they come...in fact her daughter one day...she was may 18 months old...looked in my shirt and said mommy don't have those.....all the things you talk about can be fixed....i know...i have fibromyalgia and there are days i can't hardly move....i have osteo arithritus and depression with ptsd...there are alot of people worse than us..i can't work any more but i try to keep busy....seek help...life will be so much better...don't stop till you get answers....you'll do fine....

Answer 4

It's funny because I was just thinking the exact same thing today...it feels like God or someone just wants my life to be miserable. Just when things couldn't get any worse they do, I'm only 18 and I have so much bills already! I do make some bills for myself but I had to learn to accept the role of becoming an adult. You just have to find something positive inside and utilize it. Being unhappy and afraid all the time isn't good for you. I worry all the time but you just have to learn to smile and laugh and that life moves on...the universe somehow makes things right again, it may not be now but it will someday. I wish you the best. :)  

Answer 5

God is NOT making fun of you!

If he would be making fun of us, would you believe he would suffer the way he suffered for us in that cross,  paying such  punishment just for us?????????

the day you underestand that, all you misfortune and unhappiness WILL STOP!

Jesus carried in that cross ALL YOUR SUFFERING, AND ALL THESE THING YOU MENTION !

Please, you are a wonderful person, you are full of beautifull things, don't let evil convince yourself of the oposite.

God bless you, and my God, My wonderful God solve your situation,

Love,

Francisco

Answer 6

holly, i know  exactly how  you feel, just  one  question, are you , on

any  meds,  the reason  i ask is  ; some  meds do have  that  effect on

you,

are  you  on anti-depressants,  sometimes  they can have  adverse

effects,

you, are not  alone, on that one, many people have the same

problem,

ask your dr, if it  would be a good idea, for  you, to some  

counselling and  it  will help you , with  your feelings,

and they will suggest  ways of dealing  with it,

everyone is different,

think  positive,  i have  to do it all the time,

non-stop.

   good luck ,  and get it  sorted you will feel better  afterwards.

  

      



,  

Answer 7

You seem to be a defeatist who only thinks of herself.  What happend to you that you feel so disenfranchised from society?  You need to find God or a TheRapist.

Answer 8

Aww u poor pet :(...act confident,because confidence is always s**y.Dont draw attention to your flaws.Dress in what suits your body shape-dont just follow trends for the sake of it.Maybe you should go see a counsellor.

xx

Answer 9

First of all there is a God and no He is not laughing down at you! You're putting yourself down.  What you need to do is change your mentality. You can control everything with your mind from what you eat to how you look! If you were to discipline your if eat right you would loose the weight and feel more confident...but you have to want it and do it...make your self for you, so you can learn to love yourself!!! I don't even think youre really g*y, its just a way of venting i guess. I have a little cousin and she feels like you too and because she is fat and she feels guys will never pay attention she decided she is L*****n now, dumb..its like settling, not right. Now I have her watching what she eats and working out with me and she is starting to loose a little weight little by little and she is even talking to some guys! It's all in your head, you can set your mind to anything and accomplish it...just desire it. Once you feel happy with you youll fell happy being around others and your personality will increase to a better you. try it , trust me......God Bless you!!

Answer 10

Hi there. You are not alone in this world full of problems. EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS. The kind of person you become or are is some what based on how you deal with the hand you are dealt. I think you sound a little depressed, I would suggest that you start seeing a therapist and think about getting on some meds. Your problems are not unlike many others in this world. As far as body issues get in line sister because this entire world is also full of women with body issues.  

Answer 11

If there's something you should know, some of those problems are nothing and you focus on them too much. Trust me, I've been through a lot worse in the darkest corners of the dam earth. If there's one thing I learned, it's that everything that happens in your life is because of YOUR attitude. If you have a negative one, what can you expect? You'll end up with an attraction to what is worst. So what, you overeat, have horrible clothes, have small b***s. Who the h**l cares. Not meaning to sound like an ***, but you gotta stop focusing on stupid things like that and realize that you still have many years to live. You gonna live them all like that? Or you can just take charge of your life and not let go so easily. Maybe that's an option. Coming from a 17 year old, I'd think you'd be in more control of your life than I am of mine.

Answer 12

confidence is the key

Answer 13

You need to get closer to God. Believe it or not Jesus is the gift with a lift. The closer to get the God, the more happiness you will find and you will begin to love yourself better and better because he loves you, just the way you are. Go to the nearest church and ask how to be saved. Because trust me, all you need is love. And I know you're tired of hearing it, but your attitude can determine your altitude. If you have a negative view or opinion of yourself, you may never get far. And so what if you dont have b***s? If a man loves you, he should love you just the way you are. As for being psychotic, I think it's just a demon of anger and depression come out of it gurl! and remember...

GOD DONT MAKE UGLY!

so cheer up sweetie, that's good news for you

Love,

Praise

Answer 14

Why not you?  If you aren't doing anything about your problems, then it's YOU making sure you won't be happy, not life!

Answer 15

okay you know you have a problem why are you sitting back doing nothing about it.yes you have many issues going on so tackle 1 at a time,The doctor will not scorn you he's seen almost the impossible in his office.Right now I don't feel you should be in a relationship,you have to make yourself happy first and well also before you can focus on anyone else,right now this is about you,if you don't feel good about you know one else will,where do you live I would not mind helping you get on track e-mail me [e-mail] I have faith in you it is not bad as it seems and you can get it together,you need someone to help you get started.There are people who are fighting death,you are here,and you are here for a reason.

Answer 16

I think you're making yourself unhappy.  Take charge of your life and change for the better.  Dwelling on the bad things and moping around fixes nothing.

Answer 17

You are so young to be so miserable.  I truly believe the first step is to get your heart right with God (if it's not) because He will not make fun of you or anyone.  Second would be to lose weight and when you do that you will be surprised to see how the rest of your life straightens out.  Also go see a foot doctor, don't be embarrassed, they see that stuff everyday and you are not the only one.  They will probably give you a pill to take for a couple of months and within a year (which is how long for the toenail to grow out) your feet will be s**y!!  And if you have female problems talk to you gyno about it, that is what she is for.  Basically you have to take your life back!!!  But only you can do it!!!

Answer 18

awwww :(...sorry things are so tough for you right now..

you might not like me saying this, but it'd really help you to speak to a psychologist about this, it's confidential and they won't judge you...i think that you would benefit a lot from cognitive behavorial therapy, this will help you to see things like going out in a more positive light and will teach you how to cope :)

if you really can't face going out to see a psychologist just yet, you could try contacting samaritans first for help and advice,i contacted them once myself and they're very nice and helpful

we all have things we hate about ourselves and our bodies, so you're not alone...i know it's hard, but try to find something you like for example maybe you have a really pretty smile or beautiful eyes :)

remember too that everyone has issues, and people are so worried about themselves that they won't be paying much notice to your flaws when you go out anyway...even the most confident of people have issues

i hope things get better for you hun, it's something that won't happen over night, but if you're determined...it is possible!

best of luck and i'll keep you in my prayers

Answer 19

get real good friends hang out and you both might be in love with each other

Answer 20

Hey, have a good attitude and try your best; trust me it will work; watch The Secret =P

Answer 21

hahahahahahahahaha

Answer 22

There is a GOD, and I promise I don't know why he has set you up with this kind of life. But what i do know is that there is some way of getting through it----if you try hard enough/perservere/ use your creativity to surpass your obstacles, you will someday end up happily married with kids, good friends, and a decent amount of money. IT IS POSSIBLE. Still, pray, go to church, and I'll pray for you too!!

(p.s. i'm not a nun  or  someone who is obsessively religious..i just think God could really help you out, okay?)

:)

Answer 23

You are focussing on the big things wayy too much. Focus on the bright side of your problem. If you can't find love, who cares more you time! You shouldn't be afraid to go to the doctor. It's not their job to make fun of you but their job to HELP YOU.. Go to a therapist if you are super depressed. It's alot of you are over weight and have aa cup bras or w/e. Just exercise and eat healthy comfort food. You will be suprised to find which ones! You can dress so your body type looks flawless! Try that! Confess your love because you only live once. You will be suprised how some people like the inside of others not the outside. I would go to concelling and what not. Keep yourself busy. Get together friends and hang out! Ignore the strangers out there that will probably forget you after a while!

Why cant you make phone calls? Gosh it's not like everyone is looking at you. They have their own problems! It's ok! You don't have to feel like you have to impress others to be happy. Just try the best you can with weight loss and your b***s will fit in just right :) then you can work on your love life but before all that find a job! Start small and try completing highschool/ colledge! Live Laugh Love!