Why do I have no friends?

Question

I'm 20 I just had twins 6 months ago and it seems like everyone I knew and hung out with never wants to do any thing. I'm still the same person just a mom now. I feel like such a loser. I never get any phone calls emails, nothing! I only talk to my boyfriend when he gets home. don't get me wrong I love talking to him but come on sometimes you just need a girl to talk to. The best part of all this is we are moving to a new town where a will not know any one!!

Answer 1

The new town may be a positive thing - a clean slate.

Just you pushing the twins around in a stroller will undoubtedly find you other mothers who are also looking for companionship.  

With the old friends, they may have feelings of distance, envy, comparison issues with their own lives, etc., etc.

I think you, in the new town, out in the community, will be a good thing.  

Answer 2

Your moving too a new part of town, so that's a great oppertunity to make new friends! You could try joining a group for mother's and baby's and see if you meet any new friends there. This is a great idea because these other women will also be mothers so will know exactley what your going through and will most likely understand if you can't meet up, unlike your other mate's. Good luck :) x

Answer 3

wait boyfriend you are not married!! that is why maybe your friends dont like you because you had kid at such a youg age and maybe they didnt think you were ready.And maybe they dont want to talk to because you are moving? and you should be focusing on your kids not friends.

Answer 4

Its not you that changed just your situation. I think your old friends just are not ready for hanging out with someone who had babies.

I do feel for you though. I just moved to Toronto and don't know anyone. And I live in a neighborhood where they speak only Chinese. I am NOT Chinese so I feel completely alone when my husband it away.

I suggest taking your babies out to the park where maybe you will find other Mom's. Or see if mommy and me classes are offered in your city. There is also an organization called MOPS ( mothers of pre schoolers) See if you can find them where you are.

Good luck Momma = ) *Hugs*

Answer 5

you had kids kind of young but its your choice to. If they were your true friends then they would still be there for you. Try making new friends..maybe someone like you with kids or someone who understands. Its not a crime to have kids at a young age so dont let anyone make you feel out of place or wrong. having kids is a beautiful thing. If you want a computer friend im all yours =]

congrads on the twins. and i hope this helps

-Sherry-

Answer 6

dont feel down please, your not doing anything wrong, your boyfriend, your kids, arent doing anything wrong. your friends are, it seems like they dont want to be around a mom and probably aint ready for all that as in they arent ready to settle down and knowing you have kids they probably just want you to take care of them. find some girls that have kids you know hang out while the kids hang out too so you guys have something in common. good luck

Answer 7

Try and make friends with other young moms and then you may find commonalities with them on motherhood and much more you've outgrown the other friends  it is part of growing up  

Answer 8

I am sorry that it seems your friends don't want to hang out with you anymore, this happened to me too when I became a mother. Hang in there and when you get to your new town, maybe you can try and find a mothers group in the area, where you can make friends with other mothers your age. Your not a loser, your just in a different place in your life then your other friends.

Don't worry you'll make new friends soon enough, you can always talk to me if you need a friend!

Answer 9

Maybe your friends are afraid to call or show up in case your twins are sleeping or something...

Try phoning them and arranging something yourself, that way they can't use that excuse.

Answer 10

they are freaked out that you are a mom, find friends who are also moms

Answer 11

Why don't you go out somewhere to meet new people?

If you go out you can socialise and make friends as they aren't going to come knocking on your door, you'll have to go out to find them :)

You can go anywhere really, from taking your twins to the park and talking to other mothers to going out to the local pub or something with your boyfriend.

Hope this helps & good luck

xx

Answer 12

Because your friends are all young and their idea of fun is not babies. You had kids at a young age so your new friends will be mothers as well, they may be your age, but probably older.