Why do I have such an aversion to my mother?

Question

I grew up in the same home as my mom, but we never really talked or interacted with each other. She went to work 14 hours a day, and she had 2 boyfriends living with us, one of them who beat me and abused me every day for some years, and my mom didn't know about it.

So after 10 years now, my mom and I are living together, just us two. And she tries to love me as much as possible even though she still goes to work 14 hours a day. She cooks for me, buys food I like, and tries to hug me, but I hate her. I don't want to get close to her, but I want someone else to take care of me. I want to meet a girl who will take care of me like a child, but I don't want my own blood mother to. I just absolutely hate her and I don't want her to love me because I don't want to either.

I moved out recently, and my mother cried for many weeks and ended up in the hospital with an apparently "grave illness." When I finally gave in and returned home, she "miraculously recovered."

Lately, she is very protective of me and at one point made a pass at me sexually (I don't want to go into details).

How can I make her stop loving me? I just want her to hate me forever. I don't care.

Answer 1

Abuse and neglect and sexual advances are NO way to raise a child. Your mom should work more than 14 hours a day, so she has less time to s***w up people's lives. Move out, and don't look back. Please don't look for a girl to mother you. That isn't healthy either.. you want to find happiness, not more dysfunction.

Answer 2

Shes your mother, she will never ever hate you. She grew you for nine months and gave birth to you, so let her have some respect please.If she never knew what her boyfriend was doing, how can it be her fault that she didnt act on it. I work eight hours a day and am shattered after and usually cant be bothered to cook, yet your mother has worked 14 hours for years and years and come home and cooked for you.

She may not have been a perfect mother, but Hey, motherhood doesnt come with an instruction booklet, most of us just muddle through and hope we dont get it too wrong.

There is just two of you now, for the first time, why dont you sit and talk to each other. Tell her how your feelings.We are all protective of our children, its called being a parent, you will be the same some time.

If she made a sexual pass at you, that is very wrong. I cant imagine a mother doing that, but i dont disbelieve you, im just confused about it, as you must also be.

If that ever happens again,you must point it out to her immediately, and tell her to get some help from her doctor.It certainly is not right for a mother to feel that way inclined, and i wonder if you were mistaken, or misinterperated a cuddle or hug? Make sure you get out of there if that ever happens again.

Sorry I cant be of more help to you, but as a mother myself, who is overprotective of my children and who would die for them, I am shocked by the "sexual" bit.

Answer 3

If it was me I would have my mother move far away from me as possible.  When I feel like talking to her I'll call her! She needs ALOT of professional help I think.