Why do I have to risk my safety? Why am I being ordered to drop my Order of Protection?

Question

I'm in a custody case with my ex husband over our young son. My ex threatened me and my family last weekend, so I filed for an emergency ex parte order of protection. We had a family court hearing the following Monday and the Commissioner ordered that I drop my order of protection and until I do, all my visitation rights are suspended. The order only says that he can not threaten, abuse or stalk me or enter my house. It says nothing about not being able to communicate with me. It does not affect our child exchanges at all. I also requested that our exchanges be done at a secure location, and that was denied!! I was told it might be because the two cases were in different counties, so I had my order switched to her jurisdiction but was told that doesn't work. My only choice is to drop it or not see my son.

How is this right? Why should I have to jeopardize my safety and my other child's safety for this? This makes no sense to me. The man has abused me in the past and has threatened my family numerous times. I have all kinds of emails and police reports to prove that.

What can I do besides drop it? Do I have any choice?

Before anyone yells...I am seeking full custody of the child. I don't want him around the father, because of this exact reason. I have an attorney, but he's not giving me answers.

Answer 1

If your ex can be proven to have uttered threats against you, then you need to fire your lawyer and get a better one.

Answer 2

That your attorney isn't giving you answers may mean that you need a different attorney!

The father has the child i take it? You have visitation rights?

The judge might feel that you are simply trying to make something out of nothing and that's why he's saying to drop it.

A good attorney would have provided this judge with every piece of evidence and asked that he might change his originally decree. The family reports aren't going to help. Emails can be changed. But police reports are good if they show solid evidence that he has harmed you before.

In the long run... the answer to your question can only be answered by you. Do you want your visitations suspended? Is the protection order mean more to you than the visitation? I know i'd chose the visitation over the order any day. Ask a judge if you can legally tape any conversations from here on out. That's what i did in my custody dispute when my ex tried to make it impossible for me to move my son with me to another state. I went to radio shack and i got myself a taping device for the phone. The suction cup thing worked better than the one that tags on the line. I bought huge amounts of tapes and i put the date and time on each one. I logged in every phone conversation. I then bought a small hand held one to carry with me when he tried to talk to me in person. The man was very violent, but i did not file charges during the marriage and this was long after the divorce. I started the tape recorder when i was in the house and waiting for him to enter. I'd state the date and time as he was walking from the car. I never left it off! He provided all the truth of himself after a short period of time. I paid for a transcriptionist and had them transcribed for a judge to read. I am talking about 6 months worth of tapes and well over 200 tapes! I missed nothing. I got an answering machine that held tapes, so i could keep the tape and label it and log it as well. He threatened my life numerous times to my face and on my machine thinking it couldn't be used against him. Even after he was presnet for a judge to state that all tapes would be legal. He even taped himself at the beginning to prove he wasn't saying bad things. He quit and i guess assumed i would as well.

I don't really understand your circumstances. But i know the visitations means more than the order. I know from a judge's point of view it will show him what is most important to you.  

Answer 3

Don't drop it.  If you have caller ID don:t answer his calls.  Record his messages.  Just ignore him.  Do you have legal representation? A commissioner,  You must not live in the USA. Get a barrister.  And put an end to this circus.