Why do I lie to demote myself?

Question

Its a bit weird, i've got the impression people normally lie to promote themselves. But I seem to lie to make myself seem more unlikeable. I dont do it to my friends, but around women. I have a girlfriend and I dont do it around her, but she's picked up on it when im around other people.

Its really bugging me now because I've realised im doing it! (I think I may of been doing it whilst meeting my current girlfriend).

My question is; Why do you think I do it? and any suggestions to stop/cut down doing it (bearing in mind I'm not conciously doing it!!)

Answer 1

Honestly man, I do the same exact thing around girls too. It just happens.

Answer 2

Watch what you say.

Answer 3

I have no idea how you started doing that, but you have somehow programmed yourself to do it.

The only way to break a bad habit is to catch yourself doing it, and consciously force yourself to stop. Try telling yourself several times to speak positively before you start a conversation with someone. Your girlfriend can also help by giving you subtle hints or a signal to let you know that you are demoting yourself.

Answer 4

Jonny,,Your answer is not simple,and in order to understand it,you must be true to you about how you REALLY are inside you..You are very sensitive,insecure about you,and life,and though you might think you want to project confidence, down deep,,your unsure of yourself and how you carry on in your life..Your afraid you might not be up to the task you undertake.. Whether its in a relationship,in a social atmosphere,,or even in school or a work environment..So you put out there statements although false,,if you fail,,you can say,,See, I said (whatever ) I couldn't do or complete or wasn't good at, whatever..If you want to stop doing it,,you need to always talk positive about YOU..Not brag,or be conceited,,but to state your facts when doing,attempting or trying, your qualifications,,and don't put any "well if I don't" statements or anything that is a negative about you.. YOU have to realize in life,,its important to succeed in anything,,but when you create negativity about yourself before you even attempt a feat,, you setting the stage in your mind to fail.. In your case ,,your trying to have a parachute if you do..You don't need one,,your better than you think you are.. Practice at this,,and you'll stop doing it to yourself !! SOLOMON

Answer 5

Maybe you're subconsciously doing it when you're in front of your girlfriend because you're a nice guy who doesn't like to be flirtatious/promoting of yourself with her present.

Answer 6

well... i think... you need to be less vague about what you are saying :S

i have no idea what you mean, what kind of things do you lie about?

Answer 7

it's called an inferiority complex. you seem to think you are inferior to other people and subconsiously trying to scare them off so that they won't get to know the real you who is basicaly a shy person and maybe because you are afraid of getting hurt or making a committment, I'll bet you and your present girl friend are good "buddies" more than in a serious relationship.

When the right girl eventually comes along, you'll find your self crowing like a rooster, telling her and showing her, how good you are at everything. meanwhile, I would not worry about it, just make sure you're a nice person , kind, gentle, caring, respectful, and always try to look your best, which means clean everything always, clean clothes clean hair, clean teeth,  and if you look good you'll feel good about your self, then the iferiority complex will go away.