Why do I look for a father figure?

Question

I have a dad and he was always around, he never cheated on my mom, abused me, or did anything bad.

The only thing was that he never ever spoke to me. Not because he didn't like me, but just because he is a quiet person in general, who doesn't have a lot to say. It's safe to say that we barely had a relationship. I mean, I have some good memories of us, going fishing and camping and things like that, but I also have bad memories. Of us never speaking to each other. Of my parents fighting occasionally. Of my dad losing his temper way too traumatically for me.

I love him because he has worked hard to support my family. I know he means well and I know he loves me a lot, he just doesn't know how to express it...

but now I find myself looking for a boyfriend who will sort of play that "daddy" role. I don't mean in a perverted way. I just mean, like, I want him to act sort of like a dad, I guess, like he will protect me and take care of me but still be strict with me? I don't know.

Technically my father was there for me, he was not abusive or absent-- so why do I still look for a father figure?? Am I emotionally damaged because of my real father?

Answer 1

Your dad may have not been the "perfect" father figure, but what is perfect? there is no perfect. there are many kinds of father figures. what matters is that he loved you and supported you. and its normal to have a temper and its normal to fight with oyur loved ones. dont look for a boyfriend as a father figure. look for a boyfriend so that you can be happy. you dont want him to be strict on you. theres no need for that. my father passed when i was young, although i do have a step dad and no i never really considered him as a father figure either. but i do know that he loves me. anyways your father was a father to you. just not the "perfect" father figure. no ones perfect. and you did said he was quiet, maybe he just didnt know how to. didnt want to mess things up.  

Answer 2

No pumkin you are not emotionaly damaged its the oppiste. You have seen what a good hard working man who takes care of his family your whole life looks like.  That is why you tend to gravitate towards men like that.

I almost thought you were talking of my father when i was reading your question and had to smile.

That is a good thing because you will most likely get lucky and by pass alot of the jerks who would treat you bad.

One day you will really want to thank your dad trust me.  I would if mine was alive..