Why do I stay with this man?

Question

He is an alcoholic who can't keep a job. He had at least one affair that lasted 2 years and possibly produced a child. Moved our family to another state for her. He verbally and emotionally abuses me. Tortured me everyday for a year and a half after I found out abou that woman. (She knew he was married.) by calling her and leaving with her in front of me. Let her watch our three kids while I was gone. Told me he loved her and I should get over it. Now we are back in my hometown in another state and all of a sudden he loves me and is sorry. But still refuses to get a paternity test and pays child support. And seems to find reasons to call her. I think she dumped him. So why am I still with him? I'm such an idiot!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

You must like the abuse

Linda

Answer 2

Cut ur losses and hit the road u deserve better.

Answer 3

Guess maybe you enjoy being treated like a mongrel dog.

Answer 4

you will never forgive...you will never forget while u are still with him,,,,it will eat away at you and make u Crazy!...LEAVE HIM!!!

MOVE ON

good luck honey

Answer 5

I have my own problems with my marriage. BUT honey maybe you are scared to be alone. You have three  children together. He does not deserve you to tell you the truth. It is hard to let go someone that you love but seriously. You need counseling for yourself . So you can get the strength to leave him. He will never change his ways. Im sorry this is happening to you. GL.

Answer 6

You are very strange...

or you like to be dominated?

Answer 7

well, you gave no redeeming qualities about him so all I can say is that he is the beneficiary of a wife that obviously provides for him, gives him s*x, prpares his meals and takes care of the kids.

Gee, sounds to like you need to get out, yesterday.

Don't let him be the one to decide for you you take the iniative and move on.

Answer 8

Reading your question I have to say I feel very sorry for you..and ANGRY!!  Don't let this man use you, you kids, or your home anymore!  Leave him and make him pay you child support too.  Maybe he'll realize that to play is to pay, plus nobody will want him when they find out that not only is he a cheater but he'll be a broke one too. GL.

Answer 9

Divorce is a scary thing, especially if you don't work outside the home. You need to gain your independence, financially and emotionally. No man will ever put you first while you meekly accept last. Talk to your family. I'm sure they will help you. You'll also get child support and spousal support. Start making arrangements, one step at a time. Save some money, make sure you have a place to go, get legal aid, get a job, etc. You CAN do this. You just need to take action. Believe me, you'll be much happier when this is done. The alternative is a lifetime of this. Are you really willing to accept that?

Answer 10

You know ask yourself this very same question every day for 3 days and if you still do not know why, then find some one who cares for you because of who you are. You are back in your home town where you have the upper hand in the relationship, and to mention this is the place you have roots so explore new possibilities.

Answer 11

try letting him get to 3rd base with you then let him go all the way with you trust me it will work

Answer 12

You answered your own question

Answer 13

thats the only thing you feel like you kno..it may hurt but u keep thinking you will get over it and it will change it sounds to me honey like you are a good woman and u could do way better get up your courage and stop putting u and ur babies through h**l, it may have took him to make those children but u had them by ur self im sure u could raise them to. my mother just got out of a horriable relationship with my dad.. and he put her through so much stress she had a heart attack and had to have surgery, sweet heart save your self and your kids, if its about his money..let me tell u from experince things dnt make you happy love does..and right now you arnt happy and only you can change that. dnt forget you children are depending on you too to get them out of that environment. the best of luck to u honey.

Answer 14

You either have very low self esteem and dont feel you deserve any better or you are a roman catholic and dont believe in divorce.

Answer 15

You enjoy to be treated like a piece of s**t. Don't blame anybody except yourself.  

Answer 16

Well i don't agree with some~ i know it hurts hun, but you gotta stop makin that deal with the "DEVIL" we all wanna STAY "for the kids", STAY cuz "we got married", STAY cuz "what would our friends think?" Or my absolute favorite, "IT"LL GET BETTER"

I know there r things u may love about him, but girlie, you need to get on a good foot and leave. This man is only gonna hold u underwater... When your kids grow up thru the years they will hate seeing u cry or stressed orBOTH.. they will RESPECT, LOVE, and ADMIRE you(THEIR MOTHER) that left this man alone to be destructive on his own.. good luck girlie and no matter what he says, just remember YOU can do it by yourself..YOU know it, HE knows it, and UR KIDS know it... take care:)

Answer 17

is he good in bed?