Why do I still believe I have a chance with this person when he hasn't written back?

Question

The only other person that I have thought about everyday was the man I married. He went to Heaven this year. In the meantime, I fell in love with his doctor 2 yrs. ago who moved and moved back but has said he wants to even move closer because he misses it here. I do not believe he led me on with his very positive emails back to mine, but for the past while I have heard nothing from him. I wonder if he is just letting me grieve before he enters my life. How can I find out if this is the case. I can't exactly ask him. Thank you for your answers! They are always great!

Answer 1

Very sorry for your loss, but it's absolutely great that you're moving forward with your life. Do you have the doctor's phone number? Maybe you could give him a casual call and ask to go have some coffee, nothing serious. If you're making the first steps he may reciprocate, and if you feel nothing in return..just let it be.

good luck  

Answer 2

You don't give much detail as to why you cannot come right out and ask him the hows or the whys, so I'll just have to kind of vaguely answer with the information you have allowed.

Has this doctor given you any reason to believe the two of you could ever have a romantic future?  What you have to realize is he probably finds himself in a position like this much more often than the average person.  It's not unusual that a patient or even a surviving patients spouse or other family member may form an attachment or fall in love with the doctor.

When he moved back, did he say he missed you or just missed it here?  You could e-mail him again and perhaps make yourself available to him socially and see if he is interested.

Honestly, though, if it were me, I would probably not want to even think about getting romantically involved with someone else so soon after my husband's death as I would want to give myself a chance to heal. The doctor may be thinking that as well.