Why do I think about my Ex when I'm married?

Question

I'm 26 years old and have been married for over 2 years now. I'm extremely happy with my wife and we have a normal healthy relationship. Lately is seems that girls I've had relationships with in the past are contacting me. They are normal "Hi how are you doing" e-mails. The problem is that my mind wanders back to when we were together and thoughts and feelings began to come back. Is this normal? I don't want to leave my wife, nor do I want to cheat on her. I just feel that having these thoughts and feelings is not normal.

Answer 1

It's really a good sign that you acknowledge that you are in a happy marriage and that you want to stay with her. What you've got is rose colored glasses on and when you reminisce, you mainly remember the good times. What you need to recall is the reason why you and your old ex's broke up and why you choose to marry your wife.

Spending too much time on past events will not bring you any happiness and may cause you make a mistake on a romantic notion/day dream that could ruin all that you have achieved in the last 2 years.

Additionally women can be very strange creatures and when they know a guy is off limits, it makes him much more appealing because someone else has got him. Maybe that sound callous, but I would advise you to concentrate on the future you and your wife have together and remember you preoccupation with these old memories is probably being noticed by your wife. Kiss, tell her you love her and put the past behind you.

Answer 2

I guess this is common with guys... Your ex's know that you're happily married and they can't stand that. Ignore them. the best thing for you to do is tell them straight out that you want nothing to do with them. If you write back or continue the conversation over the phone they're gonna think you're interested, don't let this happen! Always be open with your wife because if she finds out that you've been comunicating with your ex's she's gonna think the worse things.  Be strong and don't be so curious, that can lead to trouble.  

Answer 3

I'm not so sure one ever stops 'loving' their ex, especially if they are not the one who left.  I was with my ex-husband for 9 years and it was a horrible relationship.  I am now married to a great caring guy, but still have thoughts of my ex, who is now married also.  I don't think most people can turn their feelings off and on.  Just cut contacts with these other 'ex's' as it will cause you to lose what is most important to you.

Answer 4

this is probably normal,

just because you with someone doesn't mean that you can't think about other people. its what you do with those thoughts that count. and the respect that you should have for you wife should stop anything from happing. there a reasons why they are your ex's. reasons why you aren't together anymore and the love you have your wife should counteract anything...

Answer 5

Simple, because you still have feelings for her. Why ? because you both have unresolved issues.

Answer 6

when your mind starts to wonder, just let it wonder to the day you said "i do" to your wife. that should brake all evil and hindering thoughts.

Answer 7

thats a old trick of the devil think about this people change they are not the same as they were when you were with them go back and you'll regret it plus loose the love you have now !!

Answer 8

I think they are normal when an ex pops back into your life.  If you respect your marriage and can even see yourself that these "harmless" contacts are actually causing some harm, then cut off contact with the exes.  Your marriage will be better for it. :)