Why do I want a baby? And what can I do?

Question

I'm 17 and about to start my 2nd year in my A level course, and am in a relationship with a guy who's 19.

For the last four weeks I had amazingly strong feelings about having a child with my boyfriend. I don't know where they've come from but I can't seem to forget about it.

I know that by having a baby now I'd be ruining any chance of an education and also that neither me or my boyfriend have jobs as he is also in full time education still. We've spoken about it and know that now it not an appropriate time and have said to wait, although I still can't stop thinking about it.

The next problem is that my boyfriend has aspergers and I've found out its hereditary, I'm not saying I won't have a child because it'll have a disability but it makes things alot harder, I know because I've heard my boyfriends mum's stories about him growing up.

How can I stop feeling the way I do and are they're anyways of dealing with the idea if I do have a child that it will almost defiantely have aspergers or some form of autism?

Answer 1

It's called baby fever.  And it sucks...well at least when you are in a position that is less than perfect to have a child.  Just hang in there and be strong.  You will bo so glad you did.   When the time is right and you have your education, it'll make the whole experience that much more enjoyable.  

As far as having a child that may have a disability.  That is a personal decision you need to prepare yourself for.  For me, it would be a motivating factor to wait to have a child until things in your life are more stable.

Answer 2

You are biologically wired to have a desire for a baby. I had strong urges when I was your age as well.

The sad reality is that you probably won't be with the same guy in a few years. Please don't get pregnant. It is perfectly natural to want a baby, but you have to do what's best for you.

Answer 3

your right hold off and think about it some more its the right thing to do good luck.  

Answer 4

You probably have the strong feelings beause you're in love with this guy. I would give things about oh ... 5 or 8 or 12 years, and see if you feel the same. Finish school, get to be independent on your own and THEN think about the joys--and responsibilities--of raising a kid!

Answer 5

It's just your hormones. During some times during the cycle of your periods, you feel that more intensely than others. Like when you are more fertile, you feel that desire to have children. I felt that way to when I was 19 too. I'm 22 now and I still feel this way sometimes.

You just have to realize that you probably want to give your kids (in the future) the best that you can right? And you should just think about how if you were to have a kid now, it would not have parents that could truly support it financially. Do you have a car? A home for the baby? Could you begin to save up for its college education? Can you even pay for your own education right now?

You just have to think logically about something like this; not just on "feelings"...and 19 may seem like an adult to you but really...it's not. I still feel like a teenager even though I'm 22. You still have a lot of time. Women can have kids up till their 40s (my mom did!)

Answer 6

The best form of birth control is NO s*x at all!  The longer you wait the better and you won't regret it as much if you wait.