Why do Pap's/Ap's prey on fertile women living in poverty to be their surrogates?

Question

Why don't they just get counciling to address their psychological problems instead of taking advantage of or exploiting other people?

Answer 1

I know a woman who had 4 children of her own here in the USA, and went on to have 4 more as a surrogate.  She loved being pregnant, couldn't afford to have anymore on her own, and helped 2 families have a child that biologically was their own.  All were happy, and the kids are now pre-teens, and they all visit.  

In foreign countries, these women would face starvation, prostitution, and although I know I couldn't go that route, I can understand where they feel they are helping a woman out by being a surrogate.  

When we who face infertility try to adopt, we come upon hurdle, after hurdle.  I've had hate mail sent to me.  I don't like agencies, because I've seen so many women strong armed into placing their children, and threatened by having to repay bills, and that makes fraud, which could have a child taken away again.  I've  been on the list to be a foster parent for many months.  It appears that in the rural area I live in, it will be an additional 6 months to 2 years before they teach the courses here.  

I don't truly mean this, but by comparing me not being able to have a child to a parent who has a child and has cancer and shouldn't get treatment for the cancer?   In one way, it doesn't make sense.  Should it be that true ORPHANS, whose parents are dead, with no where to go, should only be allowed to go to those who can't have kids?????   Life doesn't make sense.  It's not fair.  We try to make the best of it, and I know in my case, I've done the best thing in my son's life by adopting him, and I've helped more women keep their child, to no avail, because even after I help them, they lose them later to the system.  Why not hire someone and give them the opportunity to carry a child for someone else in order to be able to have a life for their children.  It isn't their child, is a job in their mind.  Yes, I realize emotions are attached, just as when I donated my late husband's organs so that someone might live.  Part of him is out there, and I wonder where, and in a way, part of him lives on, however, it isn't part of him anymore.  That's the way they are trained to think there.  It's different than some of the phsycho babble we go through here, and I don't mean to be trivial, because as a mother, both bio and adoptive, I can't imagine placing any child I had.  Yes, there are many emotions, however, cultures are different, and in their eyes, they're very rich now, and have such a better life, which is much better than watching one of their children starve to death, because that happens over in India and other countries.

Answer 2

Dear Independant,

It's part of a nasty little thing called called "medical tourisim".

http://www.thehindu.com/2008/07/09/stori...

I find it absoulutely FOUL that people would exploit poverty stricken HUMAN BEINGS for ANY medical purpose.

Placing "value" on body parts (wombs), bodily functions (pregnancy) or human life (babies) is simply disgusting. It is sick to "shop around" for "discounted incubators" and smacks of classisim, racisim and sexism.

Thankfully, India is beginning to address this issue and is working to create tighter restrictions and tougher laws regarding this practice.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India...

http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/vid...

http://www.indianexpress.com/story/32758...

Answer 3

Oh, YAY! ..another one who believes that fertility is some kind of way that God lets us know who's "meant" to be parents and who's not.

Disgusting..  Offensive.. and and why I am reporting this question in about half an hour..

Here's a suggestion.. Go rent the movie Sybil.. Or read the book... it's a true story.. seriously.. go watch it..

Then tell me all fertile women are meant to be parents....

This woman was abused by her BIOLOGICAL mother in the worst ways imaginable,  and the only way she could handle it was to develop 16 "personalities" and become one of the most famous "psych patient" on record..

NOW tell me that fertility is a reliable indicator of who's meant to be parents and who isn't.

Oh... and as someone else pointed out.. it wasn't "desperate" "psychotic" infertiles who hadn't dealt with their "issues" that started the "buisness" of surrogacy in India..

Grow up.. stop judging others..

Answer 4

I want to address this: Why do women in poverty think that renting out their womb to couples who cannot be blessed with children is an acceptable way to make money?"

I came across this question a lot when I lived in India. So many people were FURIOUS with beggars who didn't "get a real job," and all I could say was..."Pride goes out the window when you're trying to feed a family. These beggars can make more money for their family by begging than by doing a trade that pays so very little.It's truly a matter of life or death."

I don't know about a PAP's psychological problems leading to wanting surrogacy, but I do not like how they are trying to 'save money' by exploiting the women in poor countries. It makes me very sad that they don't see the problem in what they're doing.

Answer 5

Your question is poised to start an argument.  Being infertile does not mean one has philological problems, but you already know that.  Whet about addressing those poor victims into actually using birth control, or better yet, keeping their legs shut!  Or how about we  just cut of their welfare checks.

Answer 6

I have been keeping an eye on the situation in India and the surrogates there. I am taking a wild guess that this is the people you are referring too as usually this isn't the type of people chosen to surrogate in the U.S. Its hard to guess with you :)  This wasn't really started by U.S. people looking to have children. This was started by opportunists in India looking to exploit their own poor. I don't know if most people going there realize the big picture of whats going on there. These Indian companies show woman living in great condintions and happy. They talk about their western style medical care and make India look like its richer and more advanced than it is. They don't talk about these woman being at higher risk for pregnancy related death or how they live at these nice places paid for by the agencies because their own places are shacks without clean water. Its mostly ignorance, not preying by the AP's. Its preying by the companies that know the big picture and still sell their womans wombs.

Answer 7

I agree with Jenna I’d look at it like a mother who is willing to become a prostitute (sell drugs etc) in order to provide for the family she already has.  Many of this India women who become surrogates already have children at home.

There are also plenty of people who are fertile who should never be parents.

Answer 8

What???

I think that you are making a HUGE assumption here that ALL people who can not have children are monsters and prey on people. Where do you get off thinking this? So what are you suggesting that people who can not have children should not adopt or have willing surrogates to bear there children. It is a two way street you crazy person.

Just a guess, you have never faced infertility.

Answer 9

Yes, it sickens me, but if a woman has the right to have an abortion, why shouldn't she have the right to carry someone else's child?

Living in poverty does not make one unable to say no.

Answer 10

Not all PAPs/APs prey on fertile women living in poverty.  For my son's sake, I take offense to this question.  My son's original parents were living at the poverty level and had several issues of their own.  They chose to make an adoption plan for their child - before we even knew of them or our son.  Does that they mean that they took advantage of my infertility issues in a way to exploit someone?  I don't believe that. Every situation is different and we all need to be open minded to that.

With regards to the comment "not all people are meant to have children", couldn't the same also be said that "not all people are meant to be parents"?  And if you say that, what is to stop you from saying "not all people deserve to have parents"?  When you make generalized comments such as this, it can be turned on all members of the triad - that is unfair and unacceptable.  Adoption is unique for every person and every situation.

Answer 11

s***w Oprah, she is just another big mount fat woman. You are right.  If they can't have children, then accept that and stop trying to use other persons' lives to make their own. If we just changed the law about born in the US makes one a citizen, which is BS, then going to another country and having another person have a baby for a US citizen would not qualify that child to come here.  Then they would stop or have to.  Japan does that very thing.

Answer 12

AUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sorry, needed to yell.

They are making it seem like this woman is some kind of humanitarian going to such great length to  have a baby.

These poor children...poor women.

Lisa Ling thinks there shouldn't be a stigma.

ETA-Did you see these "mansions" the women went on to build, with their fortune? I park my car in something better than that.

Besides, its not even so much about the APs or BPs. We buy discount toys and electronics from overseas, but wombs ????? Come on! I cant even imagine the effects on the babies.

What about them joking "Can you say c-section?" because the surrogect is so tiny.

Answer 13

As an infertile woman who is an adoptive mother I never preyed on anyone (poor or not) to be a surrogate.  Is this a wide spread problem that I am not aware of?  Most infertile couples do seek counseling and either choose to parent through other ways or remain childless.  My husband and I choose adoption.  No all adoptive parents are crazed and suffering emotionally.

Answer 14

I'm not in favor or renting out wombs in developing countries but this statement really irked me: "Not every{one} is meant to have children. I think infertile couples just need to accept this."

How do you know who is "meant" to have children? There are a lot of idiots our there raising children (their own biological offspring) who in my opinion were not "meant to have children". Its just the result of s*x. Not some great design to punish children with horrible parents.

Answer 15

Why? Because they can.

Desperate people do desperate things.

It's a class/caste thing.

Answer 16

Just guessing here, but I would think they don't KNOW that it's a psychological instability to want a child so much that you're willing to prey on someone else to do it (whether she's poor or not).  And Randy has a REALLY good point.  I have a cousin who seriously considered becoming a surrogate mother (she was VERY fertile, and felt that she would be doing such a wonderful thing).  I never really understood it, but until recently, I wasn't able to see any kind of psychological instability behind it, either.  It's so uncommon amongst the general public to hear the views of the people who were MADE FROM surrogacy, or who were adopted.  I knew NOTHING of the pain that goes along with these things until recently.  I honestly believe that most people don't even know that it's unethical, or that it can be a signal of instability - after all, it's normal to want kids, right?  For most people, it is not much of a stretch to want someone else's kids.  And you really have to research in order to find opposing opinions from people who know what they are talking about.

Maybe because so many people don't want to hear what those who have lived it have to say, and we, the general public, have silenced their voices quite effectively for so long.

I, for one, am glad that those voices are getting louder.  I'm proud to support those who need to speak up about the unnecessary pain caused by surrogacy and [most] adoptions.

ETA:  I wasn't thinking about people in other countries.  The first thing that came to mind was my cousin (single mom, living in poverty with 4 kids).  But yeah, anyone in poverty, especially in a place with NO social programs designed to help them out, is going to seek out a way to feed the family they DO have.

Answer 17

Perhaps an equally valid question would be: "Why do women in poverty think that renting out their womb to couples who cannot be blessed with children is an acceptable way to make money?"