Why do SAHMS and Working Moms criticize each other?

Question

I am so tired of all of the recent posts where SAHMS attack working Moms and vice versa. WTF???

Why do working moms assume that SAHMS do nothing but watch TV all day? And why do SAHMS assume that working moms only work because they can't afford not to? Or that they feel important by working?

I have been completely disgusted by some peoples horrible judgmental, critical attitudes regarding this issue. Why does anyone care how other mothers, who you don't even KNOW, choose to live their life? Why are people so critical, making assumptions that are usually incorrect?

Answer 1

because they are idiots. I don't care what another family does. people do what works for them and as long as it doesn't effect me I could care less. I think both stay at home moms and working moms are good people. stay at home moms (some or most) don't just sit around all day and watch tv ... I know I don't with my daughter learning how to walk and taking less naps she keeps me on my feet all day which is hard enough and then trying to find the time to clean, cook, pay the bills etc and working moms work just as hard.... they have to go to work , come home and be with the children and do the house work, cooking etc. I think both people work hard in different ways and instead of people being judgmental jerks they should just shut up... but hey you know how it goes.... opinions are like a**holes... everyone has them and they all stink!

Answer 2

I know, it drives me absolutely crazy!  So does the breastfeeding vs formula criticism.  Anyone with a holier-than-thou attitude makes me sick!

ETA: Regarding the SAHM vs Working mom..... I'm a working mom and agree 110% w/ what Ellie said.

Answer 3

Um well I am a working mom who can't afford not to.  Many working moms do work because they have to.  Fact of life.

Answer 4

Because people can be so judgemental and its ridiculous.  You'll see on this forum, its always the same debates - its working mom vs. SAHM.  Bottle feeding vs. breastfeeding.  Pro life vs. Pro choice.  God forbid you mention you've used a harness (leash) on your child.

Bottom line - as long as the child is happy, healthy and loved, then I'm happy.  Who cares if you work or not.  Do whats best for you and your family.

Answer 5

working moms feel guilt for having others raise their children.  And also for shifting their important responsibility to some one else.  Staying at Home with your kids is quite often patronized and looked down upon.  And are made to believe that you are just not fulfilling yourself.  Both groups have to put on some kind of front to make themselves look like they are doing the right thing.  The choice of staying home or going to work when having children is a difficult one.  They pose their challenges and women need to respect each others choices regarding who will stay at home and who will not.

Answer 6

This is a debate that will never have an end.  It is often human nature to think that the way you are doing something is the right way and everything else MUST be wrong.  As a man, I have never stood by the argument that a woman's place is in the home.  I think that both parents should share responsibility of raising the kids and working to put food on the table, roof over the heads, etc...

As a father, I WANT that shared responsibility because I feel it's my job to actually be part of raising my children.  My wife has never mad me feel inadequate for wanting her to work, and I think she's a better person BECAUSE she works.

But, like I said, the two sides of that debate will never settle because they are as divided as the home-schooling vs. regular school, pro-choice vs. pro-life, republican vs. democrat, etc...  They're views are SO strong about what they think is the right way, the other side MUST be wrong.

Answer 7

I agree 100%.

I only have one complaint about SAHM's... And that complaint is that I'm not one of them so I'm jealous!  LOL

I used to get really upset when people judged me because I work.  But then I thought about it and I only work because I want to support my son without gov't help.  

I don't know.  I try not to judge people because I don't know what their situation is.  It's none of my business.  All I say is, if it works for you and your family, then more power to ya! :)

Answer 8

They don't take the time to understand each other that's why.

Answer 9

All people have different personalities and qualities that have different things to offer as a parent.  You never know another person's situation.

Answer 10

They have different parenting styles.

Some people think that raising your own children is the most important thing to do. They have the hands-on approach, and cannot understand why anyone would trust the raising of their children to a complete stranger.

Other mothers feel like supporting their family financially is the most important. They feel that it is more important to earn enough money for education and comfort for the child than to spend their days changing diapers. They tend to have trouble repecting people who choose to wiping noses over earning college tuition money.

It all depends on the perspective, experience, and situation. Personally, i would love nothing more than to be the one who spends every moment possible with my kids. But, it is more important to me that they are cared for financially to the best of my ability. So, until my hubby makes more than enough money for me to quit and still feel secure, it off to work I go.

Answer 11

I agree, one is not better than the other.  There are SAHMS who are terrible mothers and vice versa.  I am a SAHM and I am going back to school to get my associate degree.  Once I get it, I will be a working mom.  I don't think that will in any way make me less of a mother to my children.

Answer 12

Because most people in this world are very judgmental and assume that their way of thinking and belief is correct.  Few have the ability to step outside of themselves and put themselves in the other person's shoes.

Answer 13

ppl are ignortant and dont even try to be open minded. sahm do a lot for there families. and a lot of the little things they do go unoticed. working moms work hard aswell and as long as they find the balance between work and family thats great. in the end were all moms w kids we love and raised so what does it matter. we all want the best for them isnt that whats important. we all were prego and gave birth so why point out differences now when were all coming form the same place.

Answer 14

This has always peeved me. I am a full time working Mama, but I have the utmost respect for those that choose to stay home. As a woman and a feminist I think it is every woman's right to choose whether they will work in or outside the home.

I know how hard SAHMs work. But, what I have a problem with is SAHMs that say that working moms love their children less or use the line "I wouldn't want anyone else raising my child." No one is raising my child, but myself and my husband.