Why do adoptive parents have to have so many checks, but not biological parents?

Question

Don't get me wrong, l don't think it's wrong to be checked out, but why don't they do the same to people who are having a baby. There are, statistiaclally speaking, far more cases of abuse in biological families than adoptive ones. Also, why are biological parents given so many chances to s***w up their kids? It's like an attitude of "l made them, l can do what l want".

Answer 1

once a child has been adopted, there parents can s***w up just like any other parent, i am adopted, my parents made mistakes just like i make mistakes, but i know if i was going to give up a child i would want all those checks done, wouldn't you, i would want to know my child would be safe and well cared for and loved, i am glad they do those checks or my siblings and i could have been placed with an abuser, instead of a loving set of parents, you are right though, some parents need checking out, or atleast a class or two on parenting, giving birth does not make you a good parent

Answer 2

I ask myself this all the time as I go through all of the paperwork to adopt.  The short answer is there simply isn't enough time and personnel to interview everyone who is having a baby, but I sure wish it could happen.  A lot of children's lives could be saved or bettered if this happened.  But you know it would cause a riot because the government regulating who can and can not reproduce sounds a bit like Hitler.

Answer 3

well, I have been checked out. I can have kids. I gave up my daughter and they had to be checked out too. Your question is very disturbing. Some people should never be allowed to breed, but they do, I'll give you that. But the government won't dish out millions from the toilet seat fund to make sure that everone is fit to have kids. that'd be obscene.

We should breed people that have no sexual organs and implant them once they pass a test. This way men cn have babies too. That would be an ideal world, but once science catches up with reality, there's nothing we can really do except complain. After reading what you just wrote, I would never give a child to you, since you seem unappreciative of a birthmothers rights.

Answer 4

Wow do I agree with you!!!  I am going through hoops right now to adopt a child and you know there will be all sorts of issues and I really think we have it so backwards!!  I think all NEW parents need to take a class on how not to s***w up being a parent and know when to say they need help and/or that they can't do this, instead of making the child suffer countless emotional struggles!!

Answer 5

WOW...excellent question!  And there is no really good answer to it.  i teach child abuse prevention at my job so i have this in my face almost daily.  i have long thought that people who want to breed must have licenses to do so..or at least have gone through some rigorous training!  And you know what?  Even that would not help in some cases.  i completely agree with you...that biological parents should be checked out.  And i cannot say why the birth parents are given so many chances, other than the old (and yet often overused) addage that "blood is thicker than water."  Best wishes!!

Answer 6

Basically the answer to your question is simply that in most countries, a child is not considered a life until it has taken it's first breath.  Therefore, biological parents are not required to be checked while pregnant, only unless they are doing something abusive or harmful and they are (hopefully) reported for it.  l know it seems unfair, but basically when a child is placed for adoption, they are considered wards of whichever state/county/country they fall under, therefore it is the responsibility of the government authorities to make sure they are placed with responsible parents who are adequately able to care for them.  Try not to feel to discriminated against, and just think, at the end of this process you have a child for the rest of your life.  Good luck to you.

Answer 7

You are getting into sticky territory with a question like that.

If we were to start screening for biological parents, how would you propose it be conducted? What kinds of tests do you run? What kind of criteria do you create that would create an "approval" process and who creates that criteria? If someone doesn't "pass" the approval process and becomes pregnant, do you enforce mandatory abortions or automatically remove children from their mother at birth to place them in our fantastic foster care system - because surely foster care can handle more children?

What makes any of us qualified to start saying who can and cannot have a baby? Some of the people we would expect to be the worst parents can surprise us, and some of those we would expect to be the best parents often surprise us too.

While I agree there is a flaw in the way that biological parents can get chance after chance when there has been documented abuse/neglect, there is positively no way you can enforce some kind of screening process and prevent people from conceiving or giving birth to children. This isn't communist China.

Child abuse isn't prevented by stopping people from having children, it is prevented by educating people about abuse, about how to manage anger in a healthy way, etc. If you want to prevent child abuse, start by making parenting classes mandatory for all pregnant women and their partners. That seems like a much more logical approach, IMO.

Answer 8

As a parent of a biological child and an adopted child, people have asked me this quite a few times.

Adoptive parents are put through a lot, some programs more than others, but they do it willingly because it is in the best interest of the child.    Biological parents are not because other people's reproductive rights are not my business.

A lot of parents get really lucky because of this.

Answer 9

oh i re read your question now i understand. everyone should be checked before being allowed to have children. BUT there really is no way to do it....... unless they are able to do something to babies then they are born to prevent them from getting pregnant until they are older...and more mature. but until then we are gonna have a lot of people who are having kids and are not fit parents..

Answer 10

When we were going through the adoption process, we said the exact same thing.  It's almost as if you wish EVERY parent had to get a license to be a parent - regardless of how they become a parent.  Heck, we require a license for fishing; why shouldn't we require one for parenting?!?!

But the reality is this, if the adoption checks help to prevent just one child from going to an abusive home, then I agree that it needs to be done.  I hope that these background checks, etc., help to promote healthy environments for children.  If we didn't require some type of check, you would have child abusers and child pornography people lining up to adopt kids.  If the headache of paperwork we went through to adopt our son, prevents other children from falling into a predator's hands somewhere down the line, then the extra paperwork was worth it in my opinion.