Why do certain kids pick and fight more that others? This is very serious answer with maturity!?

Question

My husband and I have six beautiful daughters and all are in school except for our three year old. Our school children range in age from 6 to 11 years old. Everyday they come home and tells us that some one at school has either said or done something to them. We teach our children not to fight, but if someone is hitting you then hit them back. Also, we tell them that words do hurt, but not to listen to any of those things because they are not true. The sad part about all of this is that the only ones that we have problems with are African American children. Our children have attend school with prodomantly whites and latin american and there weren't any problems at all. But as soon as we change districts it seems as if all h**l has broken loose. We are African American and we love our people, but why does it seems like some of us are teaching or showing our children the wrong type of behavior???

Answer 1

The sad thing is most of those people probably have no parental guidance at home, or if they do it is only the worst sort. It really depends on your neighborhood and the culture around you.

I live in a relatively poor area, and the people here (black, white, or otherwise - it makes only a very slight difference, if any at all) act like it. Typical, stereotypical poor urban people. Slovenly, violent, ill-spoken, good-for-nothing louts, and that's what they pass on to their children. How can they not? These are the people they see at home, and the people they see at school are the other children of people just like their parents.

If I were you, I would continue to reinforce to your daughters just how much better than that they are. Continue to show them why being like that is the long road to nowhere. Encourage them to associate themselves with better (or at least different) people. Can they change schools? Can you free them from the mental oppression that is school entirely and let them learn at home? Can you encourage them to join some after-school program of their choice (for girls, martial arts are a very good option - physical fitness, some well needed self defense, and community involvement all at once) that would engage them with people their age in a more mature environment? All of these things would help.

Answer 2

its sad, but it sounds like jealousy. do the kids "talk white"? i hate that expression, but some blacks seem to think that just because a black person speaks proper english that they're a goody two-shoes. i'm guessing that your children are pretty well-dressed also. as much as i wish we could educate other children of what their parents do not, sadly we can't. you could try something like inviting the "bullies" over to the house they would see that your children are normal people that deserve respect just like them. maybe a playdate at your home (a safe area for your daughters) they can explore their commonalities rather than differences.

*edit* politics aside, if obama showed this country anything its that many people, black and white, aren't able to deal with the thought of an intelligent and articulate black person. its ashamed that we seem to get more respect when we act and look dumber than we really are. perhaps you should ask this question in the general cultures & groups section under society and culture.