Why do certain people feel sorry for themselves all the time?

Question

You know, those people who CONSTANTLY have a pity party and whine to "whoa is me.." So annoying! I share an office with someone like that. ALL day I hve to put up with it. Now I am just at the point where I ignore her. My fiances mom is the same way and there too I just dont say anything and make a break from her as fast as I can. I just can';t deal with that c**p. Either change something to help yourself or shut up! I use to have lots of empathy but as I get older the more frustrated I get with these kind of people. It makes me feel so much more happy to be myself. I am not talking about people who are going through a rough time. That I don't mind. I am talking about people who can't apprecite all of the things they have and who are chronic downers. You know,the ones that really have nothing to complain about but do anyway, or who have minimal or shallow things to worry about, but think that the world is out to get them. Those cases, not the regular people who do go through some tough times.

Anyone else feel this way?

Answer 1

I feel that way when I know the person, first off, could do something about their situation, but chooses not to.  And secondly, when absolutely everything has to be centered around them.  There's usually nothing you can say that will make it any better but it's hard not to.

Answer 2

It's just their way of being sociable, though it's not one that people generally accept.

All we can do is try to help them see the joys in life.

Answer 3

because im stuck in sorry a**s circumstances thats why ! ! !

Answer 4

they are depressed people and usually work alot or something has happend to them in the past or a very important person or family close to them have died or usually beacuse of the things they have performed in the past that they regret and bring it up everyday.

Answer 5

Yes, downers and negative people crush your spirit. I have found if you feed into it or try to show them the light in the darkness, it just brings more negativity. Some people are addicted to the empathy factor that a sympathetic ear provides and it makes them continually gripe or complain or be down right grumpy. It wears you down after a while.

I too have that one guy at work who dwells on how bad everything is, he knows just about everything about everything and tells you how it is wrong, 9 times out of 10. In his own mind, he is right and everyone else is wrong. Always looks down, very rarely laughs it is quite sad because he is missing out on the beauty of just being alive and seeing how great life can be. Depression can make a person be like this.

Don't fuel the fire, I found that you can tolerate it if you don't ask what is wrong, don't ignore her, no one deserves that cold shoulder.

Just smile because when you smile the world smiles with you.

Answer 6

YES! I can totally relate. And I know why these people do it. One word. ATTENTION. These people who chronically whine and complain that their life is so miserable, their ankles are swelled up so their shoes don't fit, they can't understand why the fella who they had dinner with last weekend won't call, the dog keeps chewing the laundry hanging on the clothesline, their bank keeps calling about the mortgage payment being late, blah, blah, blah. Yuk! The intention behind it is to let others know, then maybe something will be done about it. Instead of taking responsibility for it on their own, it's far easier to whine to someone else.

I've been in the same situation as you, Hey Girl, sharing an office with a "griper". Grrr... it's so hard to get any work done and that person just grinds your nerves into the ground! I tried to ignore it too, but it doesn't always work. My co-worker would literally come over to my desk and start harping - standing over my desk! This went on for about 3-4 days, then I finally went in to my supervisor's office and told her that if she didn't get rid of "Miss Gripe and Whine" then I was moving to another department in the company. My supervisor looked at me strangely and said, "I'll deal with this". The next day, Miss Gripe's desk was cleared, she wasn't in my office anymore and I had peace and quiet once again....