Why do childfree people face harassment from others?

Question

I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm a childfree guy who has dealt with harassment (online). Why does it seem that childfree women, and some men, have it hard the most?

If childfree people use the term "Breeder" or "Childed", people view them as homosexual.

Can somebody explain why childfree people face more harassment and negative stereotypes, just because they never want children in their lives?

Answer 1

Because "the establishment" brainwashes people into thinking they need to make babies.  McDonald's needs a new generation of customers, the country needs a new generation of taxpayers, etc.  People who are able to think outside the box are criticised for it.  Don't take it personally; its been this way since the dawn of time.

Answer 2

I often see this issue in the workplace.

The one with the kids calls in and is going to be late because of their kids. Has to leave early because of their kid. Opts out of difficult projects because "I have kids " and don't have the time. Then they expect the ones that don't have kids to pick up their slack and not be the least bit resentful that they are getting dumped on. It seems like if your childless your life isn't nearly as precious as their child filled bliss of a life.

Which is why, when I had kids,  I went part time. Then I could be sure to  honor the commitment I made to my employer and not s***w everyone else.

As for being jealous of those without kids, yeah sometimes. I was childless until I was 32, so I enjoyed that freedom. But kids are great too, it's  just a different kind of life.

Answer 3

Nobody knows I am child free so they don't bother me.  

OK, I lied, some people know, but they are all close to me, so they do not bother me.

I sit in my cube with my headphones on, and people leave me alone. My child free status and my vasectomy are my business (I just had one last October. I am 25).

Answer 4

Perhaps, I have been brainwashed into having my 5 kids; nor am I free to do what you can freely do; only it doesn't really matter; I'm holding down the fort at my end and you hold down the fort at your end that's all I ask.

No need to convince me of the harrassement I on occasion can read between the lines.

Answer 5

Because people in this world are very rude and annoying, they believe that everyone should do exactly what they are doing and then life on Earth will be peaceful. I feel this way too actually, but, not the point, the point is that since the dawn of time people have been trying to stuff ideas, choices etc... down other people's throats because we only know the world from our own point of view.

For example I can't stand people that are poor and have lots of kids, I can't stand housewives, I can't stand people who think s*x is a need, I can't stand people who can't be without a man or woman in their life, I can't stand people who are anti-feminists, I can't stand people who say, "Men are like sooo coool, yeah they like totally are oh my gosh, I love them so" those people need to read some history books and watch the flippin' news. Some men might be great but EVERYONE has flaws and some people have enough power (muscle) to express their flaws freely. I could go on for a while but I will stop there.

Answer 6

I am glad that I am not easily offended- cos if I was, I would certainly take offense at some of the answers here.  To not have kids is your decision- I'm not going to bag you for it, and I don't think it's selfish.  But please afford me the same respect with what I have chosen to do.  I CHOSE to be a SAHM- I'm not saying that it is what everyone else should do, but I also don't think that gives anyone the right to denigrate me for it.  

BTW- Overpopulation may be a problem in some countries, but not mine, where we have only 2.6 people per square kilometre, unlike China which has 118.

Answer 7

It's quite simple.  When you envy someone else's life, most people will try to belittle it to make themselves feel better.

Similar to how most old fogies will try to make you feel bad for being s**y and doing the nasty with any and all the women you want to.  It's because the can't and they don't want anyone to be having more fun than they are.

Thus, we have the people who are tied down and trapped.  They are anything BUT free.  They will do anything to make the other side of things to look bad so that they can feel better about the foolish choices that put them where they are now.

Those who are truly happy with where they are would not be throwing out hate toward people in other situations.  If you want children and have them, great!  If you don't want them and don't have any, great!

The world is overpopulated as it is, so keep on with your way and don't bother with what others say.

Answer 8

Been there, done that. I think it's just jealousy, because you're free to do what you please, and they can't. And I love the ones who tell you what you are missing, while in the process of yelling their head off at little johnny. They just wanted as many people as they can to join them in their frustrations.

Answer 9

Some very unintelligent people are scared of child free people because they think that being "child free" is a growing trend that will eventually lead to the end of the human race.

Answer 10

I never use terms such as “breeder”, or whatever unless someone verbally assaults me.  No I am not talking about a simple bingo.  I am talking about when people say things like, “No man can be over 40, and not have children unless he is gay”, or “You will burn in h**l if you don’t have children”.  Trust me I have had my share.

I was “forced” to visit the homes of my former in-laws, on holidays.  They sat there taking their brutal verbal comments for hours on end.  I was very polite and let it bounce off me.  I was called, “gay”, “not a man”, “communist”, “baby hater”, and everything else you can think of.  I thought it was funny because their daughter had her tubes tied before I met her.  They didn’t call her “not a woman”, but they considered me “not a man” because I had a vasectomy.

As far as I know almost all child free people are passive as I am, and don’t openly discuss it unless the subject is brought up by someone else.  There are a few exceptions and they get all the attention.  I have seen a Jeep driving around that has a load of bumper stickers that say, “My dog is smarter than your honor student”, and so on. Any one or two is fine, but ten childfree bumper stickers is sort of picking a fight, as so many parents are very reactionary.  

I think people attack us because they can.  After all the workplace will not offer us the same protection as they will for someone who is g*y, or is “of a color”.  I have tried to complain, but I looked pretty silly accusing a person as a “child free hater”.

I once retaliated against a hardcore Catholic who told me that I would burn in h**l.  I told her that in h**l I will have the opportunity to kick a lot of child molesting priest in the testicles.  She went to HR, and I was sent to “sensitivity training”, even though she picked the fight.

I have been to “No Kidding” social meetings.  We didn’t sit around complaining about children.  Some people talked about their nieces and nephews, but no other reference to children was made.  Everyone discussed good places to go on vacation, politics, and food.  Not one negative thing was ever uttered about children at any of the meetings.

From time to time I will explain this to a parent….. We all know a lot of people that have children by mistake and deeply regret it.  Is it not better to error on the side of caution?  Maybe I would have been a good parent, but I didn’t feel that I would.  I didn’t want to take the risk.  Once they understand that I am not a "baby hater" they take a different attitude.

Answer 11

Because we are all jealous of you!

Answer 12

Because by not wanting a child you thumb your nose at God an nature. As to say I have evolved over the basic instinct to reproduce. Personally I meet plenty a single liberal an I like that they don't want to make more of themselves.

An I would love for you to see of you have the testicular fortitude to actually tell me my kids not cute. I think your full of c**p an if you did you need you @$$ kicked not for saying no but for just being a poor excuse for a person.

Answer 13

It think it has to more to do with the attitude you might unknowingly be showing towards other people. I've known childless people who say they don't get harrassed. Sure they got some pressure from their parents or other family members but they never were actually harrassed. As a "breeder" who has been on both sides of the fence, some of you need to realize that certain types of comments you make can be tiresome and even insulting to others. When you make it a point to brag about how much disposable income you have due to your not having children or you constantly talk about all the expensive vacations you take or your expensive house, cars, jewelry, and other material items, it doesn't go over well with other people.

Answer 14

Jealousy, lack of understanding, prejudice.

I agree with the other posters who say that the world is overpopulated and having children is irresponsible. The human race simply cannot keep expanding indefinitely. The more people that are born, the more wars, poverty and starvation that lie ahead.

It's funny how some people view childless people as selfish but then admit that a major reason for having so many children is to have someone to look after them in old age. But that's not being selfish, no!

Mikal - having children is not the only reason to make the world a better place. I intend to devote my life to research that will help others. I don't intend to have children. My reasons for doing what I do are to help ANYONE that will benefit. It's a bit of an egocentric position if people are only interested in making the world a better place for themselves and their offspring. (Although I agree that some people are like this.)

Answer 15

A matter of perspective. Those with kids call childless people "self-centered" - not having kids for 'selfish reasons' (h**l YEAH !) -- They're really jealous, because they're no longer FREE !

Answer 16

I think it seems to you like child free people face more harassment, because you have your own issues and resentment clouding your vision.  you appear to have a chip on your shoulder involving this issue.  I'm also child free, and I've never had a problem with being harassed because of it.

Answer 17

"Children are a blessing." Well, I'm not religious.

It comes down to a conflict of values. Some people get upset when you don't share theirs.

Answer 18

Well I think the large majority of those who discriminate against childless people are egotistical morons who, like children, can't see views beyond their own.  But using terms like "breeder" is discrimination in itself.  It demotes the person with a child to the animalistic level as though they are breeding like rabbits or are being breed like dogs.  I do not think if proper terms were used for "childed" people, such animosity would be built among the average person with children or who have not chosen the childless lifestyle.

Answer 19

The One Who Knows: right on!

Our whole society expects single people to quiety fade into the background: so long as we pay our taxes of course, a lot of which goes in family support to those who have children.

Truth is, there are too many people.  There is also that fear from those with children that there will not be enough taxpayers in the next generation to fund their pensions and ongoing child support payments!

EDIT:  Mikal, you are right on this.  There is an attitude that people who choose to be childless are somehow selfish.  Naturally, I do not agree with this.  

I have to confess that I often find it uncomfortable to be around some people's children, and don't want to have them foisted on me.  I wish them well though.

Answer 20

"I would love for a parent to ask me if I think their kid is cute, because I'll automatically say no."

If people are mean to you, it might be that you're being an ***.

Say you're excited about something, say your right hand is really dextrous from lots of manipulation, lots of practice jerking things, you know? Then try to share your excitement and have some self-important prick who whines about how he shouldn't have to look at your hand or hear about it because that prick doesn't share your enthusiasm for hands - jerking hands, or regular ones. You probably wouldn't want to be around that person much. You'd probably want to talk to someone with a similar passion for manual manipulation, right?

Just try putting yourself in the breeder or hand-hater's shoes. Who knows - maybe you'll meet a new friend or two.

Answer 21

The answers others have given are correct but another reason would be the stereotypes associated with child-free people. Like.... They tend to be egocentric and self centered. They don't care about others, thus the reason for never wanting the responsibility of dealing with a child. It is also seen as a natural instinct to want kids so people may think you are weird or "off" for not wanting them. I have known childless people who fit these stereotypes and others who don't... just like any other stereotyped group.

Oh and cause in point the people responding to this question who are pro-childless, all think they are superior to the "dumb" people who want kids... thus the egocentric stereotype.

My only concern with a childless life is that you then have no investment in the future of the world beyond your lifespan.... meaning you have no reason to make the world a better place...

Answer 22

It's a simple matter that they're in the minority.  Childless people should be praised, not harassed.  The world is overpopulated already.  Considering supply and demand and skyrocketing prices for everything, it's seriously irresponsible for people to have children now.