Why do children do something wrong, then when you ask them WHY they're like, "I don't know"?

Question

I teach second grade. This is my first year. One thing I've never understood about children (even before I started teaching) is how they'll do something bad and when you ask them why they did it, they say I don't know.

Like I had a boy call another boy in my class a midget. When I asked him why he did it, he was like, "I don't know". I asked if the boy had called him a name and he said no.

Or the little girl in my class who was coloring on her desk. Again, when I asked why she said she didn't know. I asked if coloring on your desk is against school rules and she said yes.

I don't get it.

Answer 1

I don't know is alot better than "not me" which I hear alot.  I Think that children just do what comes natural and even though they know better they still do it.  my son is in 1st grade and his favorite saying is I DONT KNOW and thats if I Catch him in the act if I don't then its "not me" or he just blames his older sister.  kids will be kids.

Answer 2

Kids can't express themselves like you and I can. In second grade they can't put their feelings into words. Maybe the boy that called another one a name was upset about something but didn't know how to express that anger (even if the anger wasn't towards the boy he called a name). It's very normal. Just work with them on getting them to express themselves and their feelings.

Answer 3

Why would anybody admit guilt. In a court of law you are

innocent until proven guilty. People don`t like to get in

trouble. Unfortunally they have dirt bag lawyers that get

them off when they are gulity. The parents have got to step

up and teach their kids values.Being a teacher has got to

be the hardest job ever. Good Luck

Answer 4

it's called brain damage

Bill Cosby talks about it

http://www.last.fm/music/Bill+Cosby/_/Br...

Answer 5

Because they usually don't know, they just do it... They have no logical reasoning at that age... That is why you give consequences time outs etc then they learn it is not a acceptable thing to do which will take more then once kids attention spans are very small at a young age...

Answer 6

it easy for them to say i dont know then telling you why...

Answer 7

I wish I knew.  And I wish I knew how to stop it.  That is my 9 y.o. daughter's answer to EVERYTHING.

(AND bless you for being a teacher; there really aren't enough good ones out there.)

Answer 8

Because they truly dont know.

If you are a teacher and dont understand, Im truly worried about what classes are required for an education degree. You should have had to take at least one Human Behavior class that would discuss many theories, including Erickson's Developmental Stages that would explain when children can begin to have an understanding of different things. If you did not have this class, as a representative for children in our country, you have an obligation to life long learning. Study up on human behavior, either on your own or taking classes at a local university.

Answer 9

they are in second grade.  i have two second graders and they never know why they do the things they do.  it pops in their head and they do.  to them they dont need a reason.

Answer 10

ugh I know exactly where you are coming from. I live with the queen of I don't knows. I hate it.

Answer 11

they do something wrong because theyre children, they are immature. sometimes they dont know if what they are doing is good or bad, as long as they enjoy it. and sometimes they only think of whats good for themselves.

Answer 12

Explaining it would be like admitting to it, and they don't want to do that.

Or, maybe they really don't know why they've done something. They are just experimenting?

Answer 13

With the boy:  Kids call each other names all the time.  He said "I dont know" because he did not want to get into trouble.  He said "no," because if he said "yes," then he thought you will punish him.

With the girl:  She was coloring on her desk and may not have been thinking of the consequences.  She really "did not know" because it was a rash decision.  When she saw crayons or markers she just picked it up and started drawing.  After you asked her if it was against the school rules, then she realized that it was wrong.  This happened to me in 1st. grade.

You have to realize the kids are second graders.  They dont think like teenagers or adults, and sometimes you have to remind them right from wrong.

Answer 14

It's my first year teaching also, but I teach First Grade!

I think the answer is simple: they really don't know. Most of them anyways. The kids in my class (especially boys) are very impulsive. They think of something, do it, and regret it all in about 30 seconds. When they tell me they don't know why they did it, I believe it. I think at the time it seemed like a pretty good idea for no good reason at all.

Try this: Instead of asking them WHY they did it, I ask them "What am I about to tell you?" Then they have to think about what they did and admit to it. Then after they do I say "Why do I think that is wrong?" Then, the last part of it is "What can you do differently next time?"

This approach really makes them take responsibility for their actions, which is what it sounds like you are trying to get them to do by asking then why they make the bad choices that they do.

Good luck!

Answer 15

I think it's because they know they did wrong and don't want to be in trouble.  It's wonderful that you chose to teach. I still remember my second grade teacher fondly.

Answer 16

It's simple really.  They know they've done something wrong, but the easiest answer is "I don't know'.  You have to go deeper than that.  My 7 year old tells me that all the time and I have to say, yes you do, why did you really do that.  or something like you know better and how does it make you feel like someone else said.  They don't understand the consequences of their actions yet.  That's why they do it, and because they dont' want to be in trouble.  If they deny it, or act like they don't know it'll be easier.

Answer 17

Since you are a teacher, you may want to go back and review your notes from your Child Development course.  Reasoning skills take quite some time to develop and it is often well into the teenage years and sometimes well into adulthood before the ability to think things through BEFORE doing them is well developed.  Children tell you they "don't know" because they don't.  Spontaneity and impulse guides most of what they do.  Now, of course, many children will not call others names or color on their desks, but this is not because they have consciously made the choice not to.  It is because they don't feel the urge.  If you remain in the teaching profession, you will find nearly every class you teach contains at least one student who is overly impulsive and will test your patience on a daily basis.  It will be a challenge to find the good in this child, but it is imperative to do so.  I suggest you simply don't ever ask a child why he/she did something, but instead say something like this, "Tyler, I heard you call Joseph a midget.  Do you think that was a good choice?  (hopefully he'll say "no"!)  Were you angry at Joseph? (lead him into some possible reasons so he can see the cause and effect of his actions) or Are you and Joseph fighting about something?  In our class we do not call each other names.  Please tell Joseph you are sorry for calling him a midget and then tell him one thing you like about him."  For the little girl who colors on her desk, in private, remind her that the desk is not for coloring, she must use paper.  Then give her a sponge and some cleaner so she can wash her desk.  You'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why kids act like they do.  Your energy is best utilized in guiding your students to proper behavior, getting to know their impulsive behavior so you can prevent the situations that cause it, and giving positive reinforcement for good choices.

Answer 18

Simple curiosity. You tell them not to do something, but they want to know why they shouldn't do it so they do a little 'test' to see what would actually happen.

Cause and effect, children are wired to learn this at some point in their early lives. Sadly there's not really any way you can teach this to a child, they have to experience it to know it.

Don't touch that, it'll burn your hand. Touch. Ouch. Next time you say not to do something, they tend to listen a little better each time :-)

Some people never really completely learn this lesson though. Right throughout their lives they tend to wait until it's too late before they decide to adapt. Others are quite good at looking a few steps in to the future.

Answer 19

Those are small attention getters from the kids.When they do something wrong they have your attention.

Answer 20

Their brains aren't that mature yet.  As adults we have specific reasons as to why we do things.  Children don't.  If you are going to be teaching 2nd grade, I would quickly break the habit of asking "why" and just move right into "we don't do that".

Answer 21

Because they don't have a fast answer system built in yet like adults do. (In other words, ability to lie fast.) So they fall back to an oldie but a goodie: "I don't know." Gives them time to think.

Answer 22

I remember when I was young, discovering the word 'dunno'. Kids tend to use it because they cba or don't want to explain why or somtimes you really dont know. Its an easy option and you just need to let them say it.

Answer 23

It's a way out for them to not answer your question.  Or they know whatever they say your going to get upset anyways.  So they say "I don't know"

Answer 24

Because every action does not have a conscious "reason" behind it.  I do things all the time which, if asked, I would not be able to come up with a reason other than, "it seemed like the thing to do at the time."  This is especially true for children.  When I was a kid, I hated being asked why I did something.  Because I really did not know.

Answer 25

Sometimes, especially young children, are driven by impulse because it 'seemed like a good idea at the time'. Often there is no rhyme or reason, it is just age related, development and social skill related. Often they do not know why they have done something, just knowing it is not acceptable and learning from it is enoughl.

Answer 26

If you asked someone on here - who should be working - what they are doing on here.  

The first thing that comes to mind - is "I dont know"  The real answer you'd also have to think about - procrastinating, addicting, etc.  Putting a little more thought into it, then a 2nd grader would do.

Answer 27

Because the real answer is "I wanted to, and I'm 7 years old and have poor impulse control and barely realize that my actions have any effect on other people".

Answer 28

Your not asking the right question.   ask them how they would feel if someone called them that name.  Its more specific and less vague !!

Answer 29

Because children act on impulse a lot.  They don't always think before they act.  As a teacher, I think you would know that.

Answer 30

They are kids. That's it. Nothing more to read into it. When kids get bored they tend to get into trouble for no other reason than because it was something to do. They are still learning how to pay attention and what they should do when they are bored. In times like when a child calls another child names it is because they see other people do it so they do it too. They do not know why they do things they just do them.

How many adults have you seen make the same mistake over and over and never learn from if? Adults do not even know why they do the things they do wrong but adults have learned to make up excuses and blame others. LOL

Answer 31

because children are, by all normal standards, insane. gotta love 'em!