Why do couples argue so much?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. I love him with everything but we are always arguing about everything almost every single day. He lives an hour away from me, so I only get to see him about once a week. Also, he works six days a week, ten hour shifts, so the only day I can see him is on Saturdays. When I do see him, it's only for a few hours because I have work on those days. Not seeing him a whole lot just makes me feel depressed and I don't feel like I really have a boyfriend that is truly there for me when I need him. I guess I can say this makes me very angry to the point whenever I do talk to him on the phone I just start arguments. This is ruining our relationship, and I don't want it to end. I will also mention, when we are together we are just the happiest couple with no arguing, but it's totally different when we aren't together. Please help.

Answer 1

you suffer more of your loneliness. you are not confident enough to be alone.

Answer 2

Move closer, get together more, even try living together. 6- 10 hour shifts is alot of work. At least if you were in the same town, you`d be able to spend time together and see if you are compatible.

Answer 3

just communicate with each other. it will help make things a lot better

Answer 4

I think you are ruining it. He works 10 hr shifts 6 days a week and you nag him that he's not there for you. I say you don't love him because if you did you would understand and be supportive.

Answer 5

Not all couples fight. Me and my ex husband butted heads and that was becasue he wanted me to agree and think like he did. Me and my guy now hardly ever agrue. Maybe 5 times in 4 years. We never try to change the others minds. We respect eachothers thought and leave it at that. So dont beleive that everyone fights becasue they dont ..maybe you need to find someone mor compatible becasue you will never change the other person so you better like them the way they are.

Answer 6

Time away from that person and especially time constraints such as those you mentioned, when you know you can only see that person in a certain time slot each week, can certainly strain any relationship. Look at a cop's home life. A large percentage get divorced because of the sleepless nights and ever-changing shifts.

I WOULD bring up maybe seeing him on his lunch break, but the distance plays a huge factor here. Maybe if you two met up on your own lunch breaks halfway? That might be a solution.

Distance and limited time together... two MAJOR killers of relationships. If you are meant to be together, it will work, and you two will find a way. If not, it won't.

Good luck.

Answer 7

the only thing i can say that may help u is.

DONT GET MARRIED!! bc if u think u fight now, marriage makes it worse.

if ur serious about this relationship, u need to figure out why ur always arguing! go to couples theropy!  

Answer 8

do they?

Answer 9

It's simple: stop arguing!

Answer 10

if your fighting all the time maybe you would be better off as friends.. me and my bf argue once in like six months ur fighting is not normal

Answer 11

If you dont want your relationship to end then STOP fighting with him for no reason.

He is going to get sick of this and then you wont have a boyfriend cause he is going to leave you.

Answer 12

Wow and that is because you don't live together. I have been with the same man for 9 yrs and we have 2 kids together. We argue every day and Its normal but they are really just disagreements. All relationships require hard work. Its learning how to compromise and even bit your tongue at times to keep from starting a fight about little things. If you really love this guy dont push him away by always arguing. Trust me it happened to me many years ago. Its a turn off for boyfriends.  

Answer 13

It always happens once in a lifetime then when you get better and know each other more your argueing will stop and your love will increase