Why do courts tend to award custody of the children to the mother?

Question

During my separation I looked after our 2 kids for a year without a dime from my ex. What's more, she never invited them to spend the night at her new place - not ONCE in a year. Yet when the divorce proceedings took place the courts awarded custody to her without a second thought. Now I pay 1/3 of my salary for the right to see them every other weekend. Have any other fathers faced something like this?

Answer 1

I am sorry your in this situation, but the weird thing is a long long time ago the kids ALWAYS went with the dad, because he was the sould provider, so they would be taken care of for sure. I'm not too sure why they mom usually gets them now, but maybe you can go back to court and try getting them?

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Because a lot of the times, the courts are sexist.  They think that a mother can do a better job of raising a child than the father can, and I don't necessarily think that's true in every case - especially not in a case like yours.

I feel the Judge should have awarde you custody in a heartbeat.  The children lived under your roof for two years and didn't once sleep at their mother's?  I find it rather hard to believe that the Judge would award her custody to be honest with you.  Typically, the court system will not pull a child from the home they know unless they find it to be unfit or abusive.  Since that's the case, I'd petition the court system and try to get custody.

My step son lives with my husband and I full time, and we are much better parents than his mother would be.  Technically, though, the courts never awarded us custody, we just worked it out between us.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think the problem is that judges tend to think of the mother as the "better" parent simply because they are the mother.  They also seem to feel that the mother has a stronger bond to the children than a father.  As unfair and sexist as this is, it unfortunately seems to be the way things work.  Unless a mother has serious problems, like alcoholism, drug addiction, or abuse to the children, custody usually goes to the mother.

As far as the child support goes, do you make more money than her? That could be the reason she didn't have to pay you but you have to pay her.

I hope things work out for you.

Answer 4

Because courts want to make sure the B is not on the welfare rolls.  Now days it is all about money.  Our court system is one big tainted big business and the lawyers are in on the scam.

Answer 5

Because they are sexist.  There is no other explanation if the man wants the child and is not abusive.

Answer 6

That's awful.  I can only imagine your pain.  In NY, courts are likely to grant joint-custody with equal visitation.  Perhaps there's a way you can fight this further?  It doesn't sound like she's too interested in being with the kids (just wants the support check...), so how long before the kids can speak for themselves?  13 year olds can tell the court where they want to live.  Good luck.

Answer 7

well too me its because some of us have 3 day labors to get our children,but that is wrong of you ex to not want her kids at her home...