Why do feminists act like its wrong to be traditional?

Question

a couple of months ago i got into this argument with a girl at school who was feminist...the thing is i am traditional and she started telling me that because i prefer the traditional route of staying home and taking care of kids (assuming the husband makes enough money for one to do so, i know it sounds silly that two teens fight over something that neither of us are dealing with).

she said that women cant move forward if there are some women who are happy with being housewives...but as much as she says my way is wrong...hers is as equally wrong then...i mean, it feels kind of hypocritical of a feminist to do that. i mean i thought they wanted right of choice? so some of us choose to be traditional...

i know not all feminists are like that, but im speaking about the ones that do act this way.

so why do they act like its wrong to be traditional when its no more right or wrong for a woman to be feminist?

Answer 1

Feminism is about men and women having choices and not being pigeonholed in rigid roles.  Telling a woman that raising children isn't a good use of her time is severely unfeminist.  

Now, pointing out that a woman should have an education and a way to make money if her marriage ends in divorce or widowhood, as more than half of marriages do, is pretty solid.

Answer 2

women didn't kill tradition...some feminists did, and then some (not all) men chose to take advantage in a new way just decided to kill the tradition that made them responsible men

The tradition of female opression subject to abuse is bad without argument right?  But the tradition of the caretaker housewife has nothing to do with that and shouldn't be condemned.   Ideally, a protector/provider father and a caretaker mother creates a nice foundation but sadly it's like a glamourized thing today often

Answer 3

She's still a teenager in her militant feminist phase. Over time she'll refine her views. Methinks your friend has never actually studied the beginnings of feminism. The original theories have been warped considerably over time. "Real" feminism is supporting of men, not man-bashing.

Answer 4

This is why I like libertarian politics....

She is what we would call a "radical feminist". Every time she speaks say you don't talk to crazy radicals. Might sound cruel but she will avoid you.

Answer 5

To answer you question, see what hard-core feminist, Linda Hishman, says:

"Although child rearing, unlike housework, is important and can be difficult, it does not take well-developed political skills to rule over creatures smaller than you are, weaker than you are, and completely dependent upon you for survival or thriving. Certainly, it’s not using your reason to do repetitive, physical tasks, whether it’s cleaning or driving the car pool. My correspondent’s life does have a certain Tom Sawyerish quality to it, but she has no power in the world. Why would the congressmen she writes to listen to someone whose life so resembles that of a toddler’s..."

In response, sociologist Neil Gilbert states:

"Linda Hirshman claims that 'the family—with its repetitious, socially invisible, physical tasks—is a necessary part of life, but allows fewer opportunities for full human flourishing than public spheres like the market or the government.' Many people would no doubt find unpaid household chores less interesting than Professor Hirshman’s job … But walking up and down the super­market aisle selecting food for a family dinner is a job that has more variety and autonomy than the paid work being done by the supermarket employees who stack the same shelves with the same food day after day, and those who stand in a narrow corner at the checkout counter all day tallying up the costs of purchases, and the workers next to them who pack the purchases into paper or plastic bags. That space in the market is a bit cramped for human flourishing."

Answer 6

They have declared war on traditional ways.  

Answer 7

A lot of people get this way with different issues like politics and religion.  I respect their decision to their own beliefs, but wish they would respect everyone else's.  

Answer 8

It sounds like you're both in high school. In a few years, she'll realize the flaw in her argument.

Answer 9

As a feminist myself, i think it is wrong of women that claim to be feminists and then tell other women that they shouldn't be housewives or stay at home. The whole point of the most recent feminist movement is to obtain equality as much as possible between the sexes to give ALL women the opportunity and freedom to do what they want. That includes the freedom to be a housewife and be comfortable doing so. Women who remain at home are not holding other women back, but rather women who are not forward thinkers hold the female s*x back. If a woman wants to be a housewife then she should be but she shouldn't expect every woman to be a housewife or demand that women be held solely responsible for the home. Women on both sides need to be more accepting of women with desires opposite theirs, that is what feminism is truly about and that is the feminism I'm proud of.  

Answer 10

Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.

Feminists don't constitute one homogeneous group of people.  She is no more representative of all feminists than I am of all brunettes.

Answer 11

Some, like this girl, are just loud mouth weirdos. All these activists are some of the most hypocritical people you will ever meet. Just ignore them like the rest of society does.

Answer 12

Your friend is very silly.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying at home with the children if that is what you would like to do.

maybe you should ask your friend what she thinks is going to happen to the world if nobody wants to look after the children?  Who does she think is going to raise them?  All these women who say they would be bored staying at home with the kids rely on the fact that there are some women who are NOT bored by this, otherwise they wouldn't be able to go off and have their careers.

And when she says she wants women to 'move forward' perhaps you should ask her what she thinks women should 'move forward' to?  Where does she see women moving to?  And do all women want to move there, wherever it is?