Why do feminists claim that If i don't date overweight women then that means I'm shallow

Question

I read a response to previous post and it said something to the effect of "don't lose weight to seem more date-Able, and being exactly how you are should be enough for any man that ISN'T SHALLOW".

I consider that a gross misunderstanding of sexual attraction. As a guy who isn't attracted to the "larger" ladies i don't consider myself shallow, simply honest.

I'd compare dating a woman I'm not sexually interested in to equal dating another man. No matter how nice or how great that guy's personality is I will have no interest sexually in any man even if they have interest in me and would take it as an offense if someone claims I'm shallow because of it- same goes for "larger" ladies and elderly ladies for instance.

Some men like larger ladies, some men prefer other men, and some men don't fall into either of those groups- me for example

I'm not shalllow.

Answer 1

Why should you even care what they think/say? Since most of what they say is Bull§hit anyways. Most of them are nothing more than little girls.

Answer 2

I don't think for one minute you are shallow cos otherwise you would not have cared enough to post this.

BTW - no-body can weigh Chemistry.

Very best wishes, UK

Answer 3

I don't consider it shallow.  You shouldn't be expected to date someone you don't find attractive.

However, if you dismiss someone as a person simply because of his/her appearance, THAT'S shallow.

Answer 4

It's not just feminists who feel that way.

Everyone has preferences. There is noting wrong with that. If you're not attracted to larger ladies, that's your choice.

However, if you judge people solely on their physical appearance, you could miss out on knowing some great people.  

Answer 5

I would not date overweight men either.    I'm just not attracted to them.    

Answer 6

It doesn't mean you're shallow at all, as you say it differs person to person. I think what feminists are trying to say is that a woman doesn't have to be stick-thin to be attractive (to some men, that is)

Answer 7

hey it's not your fault they let themselves go!

Answer 8

It's a straw man argument. You don't like someone you're not attracted to = you must be shallow.

Not the case at all. Like you said if you don't date a man does that make you shallow?

I have an interesting one though, I won't date asians because I don't find them sexually attractive although some are pleasing to look at in the same way as a lion cub is lol does that make me shallow?

Answer 9

If you're not sexually attracted to overweight women, then nobody can help that. But if you discriminate against overweight people in other ways, there's definitely a problem.

Answer 10

i wouldnt date a fat man either

Answer 11

I wonder why do people feel the need to justify their dating choices? That's your business, your life, your choice, I say...and the last thing anyone needs is pressure to pick a date or potential marriage partner because they're being "socially or politically correct."  A choice for is not necessarily a choice against.

As for those people whose feelings are getting hurt for any perceived rejection for whatever reason, they simply have to grow up and deal with it...and not take it so personally. Just because 9 people say no, doesn't mean #10 won't say yes, right?

The only time I would have an issue with "shallowness" in dating is when someone (usually a freelance writer in magazines) attempts to assert that because THEY have a certain dating preference, then everyone else should have the same preference as they do.  I'm sure you've heard people say NO ONE wants to date someone who is (fat, divorced, single parent, not rich, not blond, not white, etc) as if there's only kind of person who is universally worthy of dating and forming a relationship with.  To me, those folks are the ones who are shallow.

Answer 12

im overweight...

so ill tell ya what i think

ppl have preferances..certain types they are attracted too. some are attracted to thinner ppl..some to bigger ppl..

some like dark skin...and some like light skin..

and so on.

Being attracted to whoever you are attracted too does not make you shallow. Its just the way you are.

I certainly do not think you are shallow for not being attracted to bigger women.

So dont worry about it...Dont lose sleep over it..

I certainly will not lose any sleep over you not being attracted to overweight women such as myself.

Answer 13

I don't think you are shallow. It isn't just an appearance that makes someone attractive. You can't help who you are attracted to in the first place. There are plenty of guys who ARE attracted to the larger ladies anyway, so I'm not really sure why this would even be an issue.

Answer 14

To tell you the truth: You answered your own question.

If you wanted someone to agree with you then;

OK you say your not shallow. Then you should believe what you believe.

Unless a mob runs at you yelling that your shallow,but thats another story.

Answer 15

I don't think it does. I don't date overweight men.

Answer 16

thats true.

cant blame ya.

you have to be somewhat physically attracted to your mate.

i mean what if ur mate all of a sudden said they are not physically attracted to you but they love your personality

id be like wtf.

Answer 17

Why would it be shallow?  If you dated her a few times then you ended up sleeping together there would be a real risk of her squishing you in the night.

I don't know about you but I don't want to wake up dead from some fat chick because some other group of fat/ugly chicks said I was shallow if I didn't date this fat chick.

I think there was an answer in there somewhere.