Why do girls sometimes feel bad about losing their virginity?

Question

It seems fairly common to hear girls referring to the loss of their virginity as a negative thing that they feel ashamed about. Being a man, I’ve never quite understood this. Can women please try to articulate exactly what makes girls feel bad about having s*x, especially for their first time?

Answer 1

I don't understand it either.

Then again, the first time I had s*x, I was very ready, I was in a loving relationship with a non-jerk, I knew what to expect, and it was pain-free.

So maybe you and I are a minority in this belief?

Answer 2

cuz our 1st time is always such a big letdown an disapointment for us...  we think how stupid we were to throw away somthing we can never get back on such a worthless jerk...  that dosent care bout us...  an we got nothing out of it...

Answer 3

Estrogen!

Answer 4

I'm still a virgin and I'd be really upset if I had s*x with some a**hole who was only going to leave me in the future.

I'm not going to kid myself and act like I can have s*x (with another person) for just the pleasure of it.

If a man used me I'd be chasing him down with a shotgun. He'd regret everything.

Answer 5

i dont regret it,i dont regret s*x before marriage. i lost my virginity at 14, most people do here about that age. i am English though in America some women feel bad about enjoying s*x due to how religious your country is. i love all s*x and feel sorry for them that they are so ashamed about their sexuality.

i show men what i like. i did to my husband and we also tried new stuff together and i o****m everytime at least once. i dont understand why some women dont communicate and say how they m********e or play wth themselves whilst they are having s*x. the two at the same time is the best.

Answer 6

I think a lot of women romanticize the act losing her virginity.  They feel disappointment when it doesn't measure up to the ideal that they have in their head.  If the man is not understanding and skillful it can be extremely uncomfortable. These reasons,  and the fact that it's  irreversible can lead to feelings of loss and sadness.

Answer 7

They don't regret loosing their virginity, only WHO they lost it to..Sometimes they feel like he didn't deserve to be their first

Answer 8

I sometimes felt a bit sad that my first time was quite disappointing compared with my expectations.  People talked so much about s*x and then when I tried it I couldn't understand what the big deal was.

I think it would have been better if my first partner had been more experienced, more adventurous, and more knowledgeable about female anatomy and female sexual arousal.  Instead it was pretty much in and then out.  Not remotely orgasmic for me, just frustrating and disappointing.

I've never felt ashamed about it, but I do sometimes feel sad that we live in a world where we're surrounded by discourses about s*x and yet  some guys still don't know where to look for a clitoris, or what to do with it when they find it!

Answer 9

I guess because we wonder if we lost it to the right person and what would people think. I am a virgin and I wouldn't know how to react if I lost mine. Maybe a little bit of sadness.  

Answer 10

becuase generally their lovers have no skill, hurt them and don't give a sh it  

Answer 11

the loss of their purity for nothing,

and the feeling of a used rag,

may make them sad.

Answer 12

Thank you for asking this question

For me, feeling bad about it is an understatement to the nth degree

I had s*x the same night that I had my first kiss..I was not raped but completely coerced

I wanted it to mean something so of course I was clingy afterwards and he wanted nothing to do with me

I was in mourning over my virginity for over a year, I felt like I threw away the most precious thing to me, I looked into hymen reconstruction, witchcraft to change the past, etc.

I feel silly and embarrassed admitting this by the way

To this day I can't remember anything about the first time I had s*x, whether it happened in the morning or night, etc. I blocked it out

And my reaction is not as isolated and abnormal as you may think

Fortunately I eventually got over it..and felt better after I fcked up his car (bwahaha)..but I can still remember how it made me feel

To the girls out there: your worth is not contingent upon an intact hymen

Answer 13

Its because, to most women, s*x is more precious than it is to men.  Men's (again, I'm saying the pigs, not the decent guys who I know exist) main goal is to get laid for the physical pleasure of it.  Women have a lot more that goes along with s*x.  We have emotions that go into it, and we create bonds through it.

I personally am waiting until I am married to have s*x because I don't feel that an act all about opening up yourself completely to someone should have to be about protecting yourself from them.

Women feel bad about losing their virginity sometimes because they realize afterwards how invested they had become in the relationship, and that now they can't be a virgin for their husband.

But...a lot of women don't care at all and sleep with everyone.

Answer 14

I think that people in our society are brought up to believe that s*x is something that men enjoy more than woman and that somehow woman are victims of it, so especialy when they loose it to some body who doesnt care about them they feel used and this happens alot beause peole often loose it very young and when they are not thinking about love but often just for the fun of it or because of pear presure. wereas men often just accept that they have had a good time and never realy talk about it on an emotional level because it is eroneously that of not to be relevent to men in that way.

but the truth is that a lot of men want to be with the right woman first and do attach an emotional aspect to it, its just seldom spoken of. we still want to be in love and still see s*x as a loving thing. I am 18, a man and waiting for the right woman an I know that alot of others are. but also many more are not so that is what men come to be known as, and there are many woman willing to offer them selves to the first man they see as well its just that society will judge the woman more.

Answer 15

well when u lose ur virginity it is uncomfortable and hurts then the guy never wants to see since he got wat he wanted out of u unless he wants more then insists on having his way its just said b/c u feel like udisappointed god ur family and friends and like u have done everything wrong it is emotional just if guys realized this then maybe we wouldn't call guys pigs i want to wait till i get married  

Answer 16

I just figure they feel bad because it hurts so much the first time they do it. It keeps me from worrying about their feelings too much.

Answer 17

Because they've been brain washed to believe their worth is determined by whether or not they possess a useless piece skin called a hymen.