Why do guys just leave without an explanation?

Question

me and my guy friend were really close, he had a girlfriend but he would flirt with me alot and hint at wanting a relationship... for 4 months he consistantly pursued me and when we finally chilled one day, he kissed me, twice while he had a girlfriend and spent the night (no s*x cuz im not like that)..the next day,he completely ignored me (didnt answer phone or text, nothing) the day after that, he apologizes, tells me that he wants to be commited to his girl and that she means the world to him, and we can only be friends, i was so hurt, and i told him how i felt about the situation, but i agreed to continue the friendship..but he he never talks to me again after that..ignoring me..why would he do that?

i tried to reach out and find out what happened but he wont answer me AT ALL!! what should i do?

I know i messed up just like everyone does,i know i was wrong, and i apologized, but i dont deserve this treatment.

he wont even say leave me alone or anything, i just dont understand why hes being so childish about this

Answer 1

he docent want to have you there because you will bring up feelings he docent want to have. he kissed you and now the relationship is different so all the consequences from that kiss must me handled. don't be mad or upset at least his not stringing you along until the other girl finds out and he cheats on her with you. he cheated on her with you. kissing is cheating.

Answer 2

Hun, If you think that YOU messed up you are so wrong. No offense but he played you and used you just for one night just like he and they (guys) do to us girl all the time. There is a simple answer to that questions, guys are idiots, well not all of them but mostly yes. You can't change that, it's a natural thing for them, if he's not talking to you don't talk to him either, this may sound rude, but forget that something ever happened, and later if he wants to have some-kind of a relationship with you, turn him down, just so he'll know the feeling when someone rejects you like that.

Answer 3

I don't know ..maybe he's a player and a jerk

Maybe he really just wants to be with the other girl - which I'm not so sure.

Guys like to feel in control of their lives, feelings and relationships. Maybe you make him feel out of control and crazy so he's avoiding you.

Give him time. After he breaks up with his gf - I'm sure he'll look for you

Answer 4

Ok, here is the deal, he is feeling guilty, by ignoring you it makes him think less about his poor judgement. It is time for you to forget this guy. And it is not you, it is him.  Be a big girl and find someone who can give you their full attention. You deserve better.

Answer 5

Because we don't like to lie...

And I like how you paint yourself as the victim while simultaneously implying that a girl who has s*x is a w***e...

Is it fun living with interchangeable morality? Your kind makes me sick!

Oh, and the reason you want to keep being his friend is because the idea of s******g with his relationship gets you off! Now, stop looking for affirmation on the internet or at least edit it more...

Answer 6

Too complicated to explain - both the relationship explanation and your question's answer explanation.

Answer 7

I would say chances are good he has/had feelings for both you and his girlfriend. But he's chosen her and therefore he most likely can't be around you if he wants to get over you.

As far as the kiss goes, there's blame on both sides. You didn't have to let him kiss you and shame on him for kissing you when he has a girl friend.

My advice: give him the space he seems to be wanting. Maybe someday you can be friends again but this situation is too complicated now for you to go back to the old friendship you had.  

Answer 8

When he didnt get s*x after all that effort he gave up. Now you are being a bunny boiler and the only way to get rid of those is to not enter discussions etc and to completely avoid them. If he spoke to you and gave you ANY way in, you would never go away, would you? To be honest, you'd want to continue the "friendship". For him that is a lot of danger for no reward, he KNOWS you wont sleep with him and his GF could find out about you at any time. So I would bet he has moved on to the next victim who he can either con into believing he is single, or who has no morals and will give him what he wants.

Have more respect for yourself than he has and stop begging for his attention, you are embarassing yourself. What you did wrong, from his point of view, is to not put out. Why the h**l should you apologise for that, exactly???

Look, you mean nothing to him so why would you expect him to give you the time of day now? As that is so blindingly obvious, you just have to accept you have been conned, and stop begging for more embarassment and walk away NOW!

Answer 9

i am sorry to tell you this but you were a quest a game mind you that as humans we play.  Men have a way of loving the chase but if too much time has lapsed then they tend to go away and this is exactly what he has done to you.  You are now what men consider the unconquerable dont worry it just means that you have self respect believe it or not this is a good thing so tap into this self respect and leave him as distant memory you can do better this is why you are a good girl    

Answer 10

he probably got caught up in the moment and realise what he did was wrong, he does want to be true to his girl so he thought it would be better by not replying to you, i think it's easier that way

Answer 11

they dont feel and analyze like we do and quite frankly when they;re ready to ove on they just do, they dont hang on an dkeep trying miserably like we do

Answer 12

maybe he's trying to put some distance between u and him cause he does like u and doesn't want to hurt u, but he should talk to u if he doesn't want to hurt u sometime men do things the wrong way with out meaning to try to continue to reach out, or just stop maybe that will get the ball rolling if he thinks u don't care.

Answer 13

hes not being childish about it, infact hes being really mature and doing the right thing. your an idiot for doing that, and you should NEVER f*** up any relationship. and yes you do deserve that treatment, you shouldve told him that you didnt want to do anything with him unless he was single again but you just let guys tramp all over you and you sell yourself short. just forget about talking to him and dont f*** up again.

Answer 14

if you think that is childish, get used to it.

many people end relationships that way, actually having "no contact" after a relationship is best for all involved.

however this is a little strange as he never even came out and said "no" my guess is that he feels guilty and he feels like he betrayed his girlfriend, he might secretly have feelings for you which he is supressing and you make him feel awkward.

or he could just be the type of person who is adverse to confrontation.

most cases people do the "not call back" thing becasue they don't want to deal with confrontation.

give it time, maybe you will be able to re-kindle the friendship, but right now the more you push, the more it seems to him like you are doing so for romantic reasons and making him feel awkward.

Answer 15

Leave him alone.  The night he spent with you was for s*x only and thank goodness you are one smart cookie who has high self-esteem and good morals.  You didn't put out babe and that is all he wanted.  If you pursue this guy you will only get your heart broken.  

Answer 16

It's not you that's messed up. He shouldn't have been like that in the first place if he wanted to be committed to his relationship! But maybe how close he came to properly cheating on his girlfriend gave him a jolt and he thought about everything again and his priorities?