Why do guys think it's polite to pay for every date ?

Question

Why?

Answer 1

You're generalizing.  Not all guys think this.  The guys that do think this were probably raised to think that way.

I have a tendency that way myself because of my upbringing.  I've resolved this discrepancy with the following rule:  If I ask the girl out, I pay.  If she asks me out, she pays.  Once we get to know each other, we might split it.

Answer 2

Because it is.. They should pay and you should let them.

Answer 3

Its very simple, when we are dating we at our most insecure and we do not want to do anything that might diminish us in your estimation.

You may not appreciate it, but most women do. If you dont like it then just tell the guy - but dont offer 50/50. Take him out for a meal and let him know beforehand that you are treating him  

Answer 4

.it is not polite .

it is traditional .

it some thing I have all ways as a matter of " honor " insisted on.

Answer 5

we don't,you women are always insisting that men pay everytime.

Answer 6

because it's the gentlemen's way of being polite...they do it as something nice for the girl he's dating.

Answer 7

cuse we want to impress you

Answer 8

It's really unfortunate that so many people don't get the logic.

The host (or hostess) provides the refreshment and entertainment. This means that the person who asks another is the host or hostess; that person either provides food or pays for the food they have together, and the movie tickets, or whatever.

Unfortunately, when we went from "Only men can ask" to "It's OK for anyone to ask" the whole paying thing didn't get similarly revisited.

BTW, it was common for women to host dates -- cooking for a man one had gone out with; "Oh,! I seem to have an extra ticket! Would you like to go to yada with me?" At least, this is what I've read in Miss Manners.

Answer 9

It is tradition started many many years ago just like the guy picking you up at your house. Nowadays, the woman meets the guy at the desired location but often times the guy still pays because of tradition and to be chivalrous.

Answer 10

Because he's a wussy and is using gifts and money to buy your attention and affection.  He pretty much has low self-confidence when he does this every date.  I don't pay for anything until the 5th date...if she's worth my time.

Answer 11

Don't think of it that way, sister.  Think of it as a measuring stick:  if a guy pays, he is a gentleman with manners.  If a guy doesn't pay or makes some hint that he shouldn't, he needs to be re-examined as the last guy on your list of prospects.

Answer 12

It's more traditional...from back int the days when women didnt have money of there own.  Plus our society still enforces it in some ways.

Feel sorry for men of our time period when it comes to dating, women have all the benefits of feminism plus the benefits and expectations from traditionalism havnt gone away.  Kinda makes it hard for men to know which way to act, it offends some women if he pays, and it offends some women if he doesnt.

Answer 13

If the guy pays, he is more likely to get some, and sooner.

Answer 14

It's nice but it's not that we want to really... We all know that about 1 in 20 women wont hold it against us if we let them pay their half.  Even women who offer arent serious.  You let them you wont get a call back.  So pretty much letting you pay is dating suicide.

Answer 15

Does it matter your getting a free meal and movie and you didn't have to do anything but show up..

Answer 16

Thinking about it I really don't know. I guess it shows that when it comes to their love, moneys not an issue..

Answer 17

it's just a tradition. some girls might find it frustrating sometimes not being able to provide for their boyfriends but keep in mind that you're keeping him happy which is a way bigger payment imo. beside later in the relationship, there will be ways to provide for him.

Answer 18

It's the whole old-fashioned thing about the man taking care of the woman (chivalry).  I wish all men were that polite (it would save me some money!). As a woman, even though  I believe in equality between the sexes, when the man pays I feel safer and kind of taken care of. It's the old-fashioned, hold the door open, keeping me wam when i'm cold, romantic stuff. It makes me feel special, not just like one of his buds.  

Answer 19

As a man, I will tell you that it's a patronizing behavior harkening back to very dark eras. The implicit belief is that the women's like a child, and thus can't handle paying because she's infantile and probably not in the workforce. Same with holding doors; idea's that women are too weak to do it, or the behavior's "unfeminine" and might ruffle her skirt! This doesn't mean the man should never pay- alternating or splitting seems better, though a man's got to make sure his partner's not a traditionalist before suggesting this.

Answer 20

Because they have yet to get used to the idea that some girls find it infantilizing.

Answer 21

My bf does it because that's what his parents taught him  You take a girl out, you pay for her dinner.  We have had numerous discussions over this and the fact that I don't particularly like the practice and find it outdated.  I, personally, am not *insulted* by it but I feel like I should pay at least my part.

EDIT:  I should add that he doesn't do it because he thinks I can't take care of myself.  He knows perfectly well that I can.  He does so because he was brought up thinking that it was the polite thing to do (small southern town mentality).  I don't like it, but I also don't think that I'm going to break up with him because of it.  I've picked my battles, this isn't one of them.

Answer 22

hahh. yeahh well most of them feel that they are the man and they want to be in control while others just think its what guys are suppose to do. Some guys are sweet and dont want you to spend your money so different reasons for different guys. :]]

Sincerly,

Nikki Loves You Not. :]