Why do husbands act like its going to kill them to take the trash out?

Question

I mowed the yards, washed the cars, cleaned the house from top to bottom, make pot roast from scratch, chase three kids around, shopped for his mother's bday, paid the bills, grocery shopped, dental appointments for the kids, vet appointments, work a part time job and drove him to work and back at 4am.

Don't I sound fantastic? So why in the h**l can't he stop bitching to just take out the trash? Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Welcome to my world!

Yea I know how you feel and it's ANNOYING!

Right?

But you're going to have to talk to him.

Be nice.

Men love it when you are nice.

But talk to him and tell him that you are always cleaning,cooking,etc.

But my Dad always throws out the trash without my Mom asking.

He doesn't like it when she does it.

He says its a man's job.

My Dad helps my Mom around the house.

My Dad:

Washes the car

Mows the lawn

Pays the bills

Cooks when Mom tired or busy

Drives the kids to school and back

Grocery Shops with Mom

&&

etc.

______________________________________...

I feel sorry for you but I think once you guys got married you should of talked to him about this.

That's what I did.

We talked about how we are going to raise the kids and how the house will always be clean and how he will help me when I need help.

We talked for hours and made promises and kept them.

We're sorta like partners and our kids are the sidekicks.

But yea.

I don't know what I should tell you.

*Hope this helped*

-Marissa.C <33

Answer 2

He's a spoiled momma's boy. Whatcha going to do now? I will tell you...cut out 50% of the stuff you do for him. Start with the 4am taxi ride.

Answer 3

well, he does have the b***s.

Answer 4

Maybe he fills bad taking the trash out to the garbage because he would rather be recycling get a recycle garbage and a garbage garbage and see if he starts taking it out. (good luck)

Answer 5

Maybe you should just ask him nicely alot without raising your voice. It'll be hard to ignore that. If you keep your cool, he'll want to do it. Don't over ask, and say please. Trust me, I'm a guy. We like to do things for girls when they ask us quietly and nicely =) good luck.  

Answer 6

Because they are all wired the same. Once you start taking care of them, they get complacent and all they want to do is watch TV and play their video games. if the take out the trash, they would have to:

1. Get up (during commercial or pause their game)

2, Collect trash from kitchen, bathrooms and/or bedrooms

3. Walk 50 steps to the trash can

4. Come back, place a new bag in the trash cans

5. Wash their hands

6. And sit back down

Phew, I'm tired just thinking about it..LOL.

Answer 7

When women become super women and super moms, husbands appreciate it, but they also feel they have no need to help! After all, you can do it all! Sometimes doing it all is the problem, because we make them lazy. What I´m saying is, cut all you do in half and deposit some responsability on him, otherwise he just might think, if she can do all that, why not one more thing like taking the trash out!

It shouldn´t be like this, but sometimes we make it like this.

And about the s*x, thatps another issue. I´d suggest you talk with him and ask him to respong honestly as to why he doesn´t want s*x with you. Chose a perfect environment to talk about this topic though. Don´t choose before going to work or late at night...try to be alone and calm. Make him respond and then work on it. But first fix the trash situation.

Answer 8

  Yeah, he's probably just too tired from all that hard work YOU do all day to take out the trash let alone engage in some sort of sexual activity. Yeah, he's probably pretty sure that taking out the trash will lead to an annuerysm or something equally as terrifying.  

Answer 9

I think we had the same husband, however I don't think mine knew we had trash cans. He threw everything on the floor or carpet. Beer bottles and cans, soda cans all over the bedroom nightstand. Even when I was battling lung cancer, he didn't help with anything. He wouldn't even walk our dog unless I made him. Well we're separated now. It's so peaceful and finally my house is clean. I will take out my own garbage from now on, but it's so worth it. He had no s*x drive either, always had one excuse or another. Boring.  

Answer 10

Because you mowed the yards, washed the cars, cleaned the house from top to bottom, make pot roast from scratch, chase three kids around, shopped for his mother's bday, paid the bills, grocery shopped, dental appointments for the kids, vet appointments, work a part time job and drove him to work and back at 4am.  What's the big deal about taking out the trash after all that?  That's what he's thinking, anyway.

Answer 11

For some reason, men think that the only work they are supposed to do is the job that pays them. Even if the wife works too and even makes more money, they still see nothing wrong with the wife taking care of the house and kids completely alone. I don't get it either. It's how most men are though. They just don't know how exhausting all of that actually is. Just stop doing it for a week and force him to help with some. Give him an idea of how it feels to have to deal with even a fraction of that stuff. Good luck.

Answer 12

because most men feel like they just shouldnt have to do anything but have s*x.... they dont look at it from the females point of view even after its thrown in there face

Answer 13

To me it sounds like he just expects you to do everything. No offense, but you're not helping by actually doing everything. Relationships have to be about equal work, and that includes things that need to be done around the house, with the kids and anything in your lives. If you do everything all the time, without him having to lift a finger then he will expect that you will just do it if he doesn't. He's taking advantage of the situation. It comes down to, people treat you the way you show them to treat you.

Now, a way to fix it. You two need to sit down and have a calm talk. This should happen away from the kids and away from other distractions (such as TV, bills etc). You should explain that the way housework is done now needs to be reorganized. Don't attack him. Don't say "you're not doing this," or "you need to do this," as he will just feel attacked and signaled out. Instead approach it as reorganizing the system to smooth things out. This way you can work in things that you will take care of and things he will take care of. That way he knows exactly what needs to be done without it being a huge fight. If you do this calmly and ask his input (like when he thinks the best time to do something is, that way he feels included - men love to fix problems) then he will respond much better then he would from a fight.

I feel for you. I feel lucky that my boyfriend (have been together for 4 years - living together for the past 2 years) has no problem helping out. He takes the trash out without complaint as well as other things that need to be done around the house. I hope this advice helps you and that you are able to find a common ground with your husband.

Good luck.

Brit

Answer 14

You do sound fantastic! I honestly can't say why he b*****s to take out the trash, maybe you need to hear what he feels he's contributing to the relationship, and how he feels work should be divided. Also, you may want to look at the wording you're using when you're telling him to take out the trash. Is it:

Hey, can you take out the trash?

                     or

Could you take out the trash for me?

That little "for me" tends to get men going for some reason. Something about fulfilling their need to feel like they're taking care of their woman, and providing for her.  

Answer 15

LMAO! Because it requires thought process. Most men find thinking exhausting. It is a sad thing that many women can relate to your problem. Ok if he can't at least take the garbage out and can't put out after all you do for him WHY in the h**l are you keeping him around? Lol!

Answer 16

I have that same question... lol

Today I cleaned and cleaned.  I work nights (2300-0700) and my bf works days (0700-1500) so I went home at 0830 and decided that I had to do something about the mess. My bf came home at 1530 and too off his clothes and threw it on the floor, then made a mess in the kitchen, and didn't want to do anything.

The garbage that I accumulated during my day of cleaning. I asked him to put out and he was all pouty. I think the reason has to do with the male ego. He thinks that he is a man and should not have to do anything. Not even the one thing you ask. But you can do a million and he is still not content. It is just how men are.  

Answer 17

Dam it. he needs to take out the trash and give you a good work over.... cheese its just the dam trash... I do tons and work full time and hubby only part time and the trash is a mans job dam it!

Answer 18

maybe if you didn't whine and nag about it.

just be sweet and say please. We like that a lot.

He should be mowing the yard though. as for the cars- let them be dirty who cares. And the rest is womans work.

Answer 19

one thing is still amusing me - what's with u women and trash? couldn't u take it while u were driving him to work? couldn't u ask your kids take it? what's with women and trash? just take the d**n garbage and throw it away if he doesn't do it. i would be much more lamenting if my husband made me mow the yards - it is men's job. but taking trash? give me a break. u just want to start beatching and u picked up the less painful subject.  

Answer 20

If he is doing that when it comes to taking the rash out  and you have been doing all that. Then you have one LAZY man...and if he cant get up and help sounds like you two have alot to talk about.  

Answer 21

WOW....if you do all that and all I had to do is take out the trash..and s*x too...marry me.