Why do husbands & men take REALLY GOOD WOMEN and WIVES for granted? It's like common sense to me:?

Question

if I had a husband that did what I did for him...I WOULD BE JOHN POPE to him. But it seems like I did it all and he did everything he could to push me away. Then I talked to different men and I hear ALL THE TIME, divorce him and marry me, I will show you a "real" man. So why didn't my husband see what he had. I did it all, cooked, cleaned, pampered his ego, never quesitioned his whearabout, prayed, picked up his slack of the bills, found him his job, and redid his resume to get a promotion, NEVER brought up what I did for him in his face. let him win the aruguments to keep the peace; If I moved his car out the drive way and saw it on E..filled up the tank. Oral daily....kept the cabinets stocked; cooked "healthy" food, worked out, kept my looks us, I mean the list goes on and on, but yet...he never appreciated it. Even now, we are separated and don't press the issue about him seeing his kids or giving me money. Although I did file for my support papers and divorce this week. But up until this point, for the life of me, I don't understand why he didn't see my worth. I'm sure soooo many other wives and women are dealing with the situation. I hear, "you are weak and let him walk all over you" or "you just were a dayum good woman and he took you for granted" Should I change when I meet the next guy or stay the same? It was natural for me to do, it was from the heart. So dunno just wanted to hear you all opinions

Answer 1

   1. Kiss your spouse for at least 5 seconds before you leave in the morning and before going to bed at night.

   2. Say thank you for the little things (doing the dishes, clearing the table, putting a new roll of toilet paper out, and do these things WITHOUT expectations).

   3. Compliment each other every day. It doesn't take much to make your spouse feel good. Be sincere and when you're given a compliment, even if you don't agree, just say "thank you."

   4. Hug and hold hands often, daily.

   5. Shut up and listen! You do much more learning with your mouth closed and your mind open.

   6. Argue softly. Remember that once words are said, they cannot be taken back so if you must use harsh words, do it in a low voice. Be cautious and think before you choose the words you use.

   7. At least once a month, have a special evening out with another married couple so you can laugh and learn from each other's relationship. Have at least one romantic night out per month and bring the romance home with you!

   8. Take a class together. There are some restaurants that will teach you how to make a meal from start to finish or you can both learn to play a musical instrument. It's a great way to spend time together and see how each other learns.

   9. Take turns making decisions. It's no fun when someone asks you for your opinion and you say, "whatever you want." If all they wanted was what they wanted, they wouldn't have asked you. Be polite and give a complete and honest answer.

  10. Exercise together. Being healthy and taking care of yourself shows your partner that you want to be around for a long time and will be able to care for them if they get ill.

  11. Appreciate your partner's strengths as well as their weaknesses. They chose to be with you because there are aspects of your personality that they can learn from and absorb. Show them how much you love them by being supportive when they are weak and proud when they are strong. Listen to what they say, you may learn something.

  12. Do the little things (see number 2). Waking up to a hot cup of coffee or an ironed shirt, or coming home to lit candles are little ways to show that you care.

  13. Show appreciation and don't ever take her for granted or you will miss her when she is gone!

  14. Laugh at the little mistakes in life, hold the drama for major crisis! Don't make an issue of the "toothpaste tube", laugh at the small nuisances and you will be a happier person for it!

  15. Accept responsibility for your actions and choices. Be honest in all aspects of your relationship. If you have not been, start now!

Answer 2

Honey...don't change.  Don't allow this jerk to ruin your good personality and the fact that you're a giving person.  I know going thru this separation can make someone want to be bitter and maybe say "s***w it! Next time I act like a b*tch."  I've been there, I know it.  But trust me...You'll find a good man who says, "MY GOD...I'm so lucky to have you!"  That's what I have now.  It took a long time to find it but I'm glad I did.  But in the same vein...if you feel taken advantage of, then you do need to step up for yourself and put your foot down to certain things.  Especially if they involve what's best for your children.  Stick up for them always.  But don't change.  Stay exactly the way you are...one day, you'll benefit from your giving ways!  

Answer 3

Yes most men would like that in a wife until it becomes boring.

You need to find who you are as a person before looking for a person of the opposite s*x. It sounds like you let people walk all over you.

Not saying be mean but let yourself be pampered a little guys like to pamper their woman too.  Oh and you may have just got a jerk so don't be attracted to the same type of man

Answer 4

Why do women take REALLY GOOD MEN and HUSBANDS for granted? I am really sick of the guys getting the raw end of deal and blamed for everything (not saying that is the case in your situation AT ALL!) But when my BF and his ex split up everyone assumed it was him that left and walked out on her and their kid when in reality it was the other way around. My beef is that women are always penned as the victim and it is always the guys fault in the eyes of society.

In your situation- don't change! You are who you are and everything you do is from the heart. There ARE guys out there that appreciate women like you and your guy obviously wasn't one of them. You owe it to yourself to find someone who will treat you like you deserve and apperciate you for who and what you are.