Why do i feel like dying? and so depressed? can anyone help?

Question

So I am just really feeling crappy now. I think I am depressed, I just feel terrible, emotionally almost 24/7! I feel like i am going to die of depression. I am like never happy. I dont really enjoy anything and have low self esteem. i just graduated high school in june.

Heres the reasons why:

-had a bad school life, with peers my age being mean to me, i think because im shy or maybe just bad schools or bad s****. peers, only good year was 6th grade. I had many friends turn on me, where they used to be nice and then they suddenly hated me. didnt go to prom or have friends almost my whole school life and nothing but bad memories.

-im shy so i have low self esteem

-have no dad, so i feel really empty

-i cannot afford to go to community college this year because i dont have a car, i tried contacting churches but no one has helped or responded, my mom cant afford it, she is a single mom who gets no child support, she was laid off my entire senior year so i couldnnt use my money to save up i had to give almost all of it for rent'bills'food/gas and such.

- i have a bad habit of getting crushes on older guys (30 at the oldest) who are in authority and they always end up being jerks who play favorites and who are rude to me, i have never had a boyfriend.

-i have a hard time making friends because im withdrawn due to so many bad experiences with peers in my school life, i find it hard to trust people, im sick of being hurt

-im friendly but have a hard time making friends

-my mom doesnt understand my depression,and almost gets mad at me and says "you could be handicapped" or "look what happened to me" she doesnt understand that i wish i could die everyday and she just makes me feel crappier

-my mom isnt that happy she works long hours and many times pushes me away and gets snappy with me

-i have horrible insomnia and many times crie myself to sleep and sleep in too long waking up with arms and neck in pain and feeling too tired and want to sleep more

-i hate my job, most managers are cocky 25 year olds who play favorites and evyerthing is cliquey, theyre rude to me, many customers are rude to me

-lack of male friends or good male role model

-lack of friends in general

-lack of fitting in my suburban area filled with rich s****. prep girls and wigger guys , immature

im a christian and im in counseling but things just keep going from bad to worse and its hard for me to be happy

someone help i feel like i am in h**l

Answer 1

in the end everything will be ok, if its not ok its not the end. Sorry you feel so sad, take my happiness if you like... i dont have much but...it'll probebly be better with you ill pray for you and beg God to send your "something" but he prbebly has something awesome planned for you anyway, you may be surprised, just be patient and stay faithful and try to pay attention to the un superficial things in life. =D

Answer 2

You need to pray and ask God to help you, it something many christain do exsperience to try to stop them enjoying there faith, however if you start reading the bible and find out who |God says you are and how much you are loved this all will go .

find a good chuch  

Answer 3

Please read back what you wrote. Think within you, is that really YOU??

I understand that sometimes we tend to feel low about ourselves, i've gone through my piece of share, but we've to get out of that and move ahead!

BE-DO-HAVE

You need to BE happy 1st, then DO the things that make you happy, then only you will HAVE happiness. Its not the other way round.

Everything is WITHIN you, my dear. You should take charge of your life, of your emotions. Take control of yourself. Not by letting external sources take control of your life. You need to stand up for yourself and be whatever you choose to be.

You have the power and the ability INSIDE you. You just need to learn how to use it.

I suggest you to watch The Secret.

All the best in whatever you do.

Peace and Love,

Jash

Answer 4

well then that means u gotta think of happy things and try not to be so shy =) try talking to people and trying to get a scholarship to go to college and talk to anyone you can who will want to talk with you =) you sound like a decent person. you don't sound mean or anything. i think you can make friends if you tried alittle =)

and try not to be so shy! i used to be shy...and still am but i still talk to people.

that's just what i think though =) i hope that helped you at least alittle =)

Answer 5

Please google a short piece called Desiderata. It has all the answers for both now & forever in it.

Please try to focus on all the positives rather than all the negatives.

Best wishes. UK

Answer 6

hey sweety, i'm also a christian, and am having a hard time at the moment. I don't have a dad either, he died of cancer 4 years ago, but remember you've always got god. x

Answer 7

try not to discuss it alone, why not contact your friends or even your neighbor whose the same age as yours.

dealing with problems alone will make you very depressed. atleast you have released some of your stresses since it is all over you.

if ever you cannot speak with anybody, ashamed of any part of your story, try to throw something, break things, slam them as if you carry the problem of the whole world.

the best tip.

be involve on something, be a civic worker. join a foundation. be a volunteer of any group who help somebody. there you can discuss your feeling with everybody since you will have an openforum.

there you can cure your low self esteem.

hope i helped. i have the same problem as yours, but i overcame of it. but you are very young to think of those things. try to focus on good things and not on the bad sides.