Why do i find this hard to believe and accept?

Question

i have 3 wonderful kids that are at times a handful, and got out of a horrible relationship last year.

i have a new wonderful bf and he says he loves my kids and he misses them when he is at work. why do i always think yeah right??

do you think my past relationship could be to blame? my kids have two different dads and the first dad said he would claim all three but would say he wasnt the dad when he was angry and drunk.

Answer 1

Once bitten, twice shy!!  Give it more time for you to see he is good on his word.  Believe him if he continues to prove it to you.  It just takes time.  I am sure he will understand.  Just tell him how you are scared to love, but are willing.  You have just learned not to be blinded by love now.  Congratulations, you have gotten smarter and applied it to the next relationship.  It is too early to feel guilty for having your doubts.

Answer 2

He could be telling the truth.  My advice to you is to take your time here.  Get to know the man.  How long have you and he been dating?  Do you have money?  Could he be after that?  If your answer is no then I'd believe him.  There are good guys out there. I do believe that your prior relationships have soured you, and rightfully so.  You need to be careful, not only for yourself, but also for your kids. Hopefully after two failed relationships, you've come up with a keeper.  Third time might well be the charm!  Good luck.  

Answer 3

I would suggest keeping a eye on this man and making sure your children know the differences between good and bad touches and that they can always speak to you about it. And always trust you gut feelings. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

If he's new on the scene, it may be that you just don't know him well enough yet. Get to know him better before passing judgements on him.

Answer 5

Stop trying to find something wrong with this guy!!! Men dont help get kids to bed if they dont care! just take a breathe and stop thinking so much!

Answer 6

Keep a close eye on him.  I don't mean to suspect the worst or imply anything, but I know you'd want to prevent anyone from hurting your children.

If you have no money and he is helping you, that seems to be genuine.  It's natural to not believe something good is happening to you after you've had so much go wrong.

Also, just as a precaution, be wary of him expecting you to do things that you don't want to do, whether it be sexual, emotional, etcetera.   Just because he is helping you out doesn't mean that you have to "repay" him by doing things you don't want to do.

But remember, good things DO happen to good people, just keep your guard up.