Why do i get nauseous when i think about him? is it unhealthy to ignore your feelings for someone?

Question

this guy and i had an on/off unofficial thing for over a year. i broke it off because i was scared i would get heartbroken and wanted to avoid a messy split that would destroy our friendship.

i told him not to call me anymore. a few days later i apologized for being immature and told him his friendship means a lot to me and i hope we're okay. he said it meant a lot to him and apologized too.

we haven't talked other than that. i am proud that i'm being strong and think i'm doing the right thing...

so why do i feel nauseous whenever i think about him? I thought i saw his mom the other day and had to calm my gag reflex to keep from throwing up in a store (and it wasn't even her!)

he's going back to school in a week which may have something to do with it. i planned to see him to say goodbye before he does but the idea makes my stomach churn... but it seems worse when i think about NOT seeing him before he leaves.

has anyone ever experienced this??

now i'm afraid i destroyed our relationship AND our friendship.

Answer 1

You are getting anxious over him not being around anymore. You need to concentrate on yourself instead of him. You broke up for a reason and it didn't sound too serious anyway. Remain friends if you want and redirect yourself to get involved in your own self-preservation. Sometimes old habits are hard to break. If your anxiety gets worse, go see a Doctor so they can give you something.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like your nerves are acting up. It's just your body trying to tell you that the situation is making you tense and anxious. Try and think of how things used to be... perhaps thinking of the days where you were comfortable around him may help. Friendships are very tasking on two people who were once romantically linked... never rule out the option that maybe you just can't handle it right now.

I would like to say that in a split the pain just goes away eventually, but it sounds to me like he meant a great deal to you... and if that's the case it's only going to be harder when he's away at school and from you. If you think you can handle it try and see him... if you don't think you can... maybe it's not the best option.

There are also alternatives... not as personal as saying goodbye in person, but still a way to touch base before he goes. You could phone him or even text.

Just try and be calm and patient with yourself about this and only do what you'll feel comfortable with.

Answer 3

I'm much much much older than you and I still shake and feel nervous when I see an ex.  Something about not being sure of ourselves, or pride or some inability to move on - I don't know what causes it.  

Breaking up is hard to do. (ahhhh, I crack myself up! - but you're too young to get that one ;-)

Answer 4

Yez