Why do indians/indian parents like arranged marriages?

Question

i mean my parents are so typical indians, they had an arranged marriage and they just dont accept love b4 marriage. dont u think that's unfair? i mean sometimes i feel even they are quite nervous around each other and dont get along that well, when my dad shouts or something my mum remains calm and gets hurt when he says something. i dont want this to happen to me. i'm 24 and i only want love marriage. how do i convince them abt this...they're really strict??! plzz help!

Answer 1

how you are so sure of your love marriage, are you seeing someone?

your parents are quite protective and they don't want to take any chance where your life is concerned..if the boy you want to marry is really good then he can take some older person's help from his family to go to your parents but he should be good enough so that your parents don't get any reason to say no!

Don't think so negative about arrange marriage!

In marriages luck matters a lot!

Answer 2

You have mentioned that your parents are Indians , are you not !  

Answer 3

because they don't want u going and looking 4 your own person cause they cant trust anybody but people like them whom eat curry powder.

Answer 4

  They beleive that life is about suffering -  

Answer 5

It is cultural.  If you decide that is not what you want you probably also need to accept that your parents will not support you financially and will have to move out of their home.

Marriage must be based on more than just love or it won't work out.

Answer 6

its all old culture parampar by family u kno all works

cuz we INDIANS

Answer 7

convince ur parents

Answer 8

It is cultural & traditional in India to have an arranged marriage, b'coz we don't like love-marriage. Anyhow you want to love so why not marry & then love your husband. Every couple will not be the same as your parents - you can find good understanding couples too & also they are happy with each other.

Answer 9

It's tradition and culture, and something very hard to let go of especially for those not moving with the times.... Soon, more and more people will be having love marriages and then parents will be more accepting because it will be the norm....

Answer 10

listen its been indian culture and tradition for a long time. Me or u can hardly do a thing abt it.its their way of thinking.Even my parents are like that.what you can do is show them how responsible you are by doing really good in your career,hepling your parents in finanacial matters,doing things in family get together like taking care of every one etc,etc.....basically make them realize that u are an adult now,not only that,but also that u are a responsible adult.see it wont be easy when you finally tell them abt your views and ideas....but atleast u ll be laying down the ground work....n once they realise this they ll definately go with you....just give them and yourself time..take care.

Answer 11

no way should you forget about ur culture, traditions that your family has been following.

this is th eway how it has been going and if u try changing it, no one in ur family might consider you their own.

your grandparents had taught ur parents the traditions, and thenur paarents continued the culture, then they taught you that, and finally it is ur responsibility to make sure that it continues.

this is what i beleive in and now it is up to you to make ur decision..

good luck

Answer 12

this is depending on the couples not a marriage.love marriages also faces this type of problems.in match first u will tell ur thoughts ,ur hobbys and ur openinon on marriage.and ask him about this if u like him u will marrie .

.i got arranged marriage.now iam very happy.

                               best of luck.

Answer 13

What can you do?

Living your life… do it your way.

You know I always say that things can work out well or not in life, but at least I want to have the chance to decide over my own life and if I do not succeed, at least I tried… and no matter how hard I fall, I will get up again and fight again… do it my way.

This is the way I see my life and the way I live it.

I also had a traditional family background and my parents did not even want to hear about “boy friends” or “love”… and yes, my father was the typical patriarchal man who shouted at everybody and insulted my mother con frequency.

My mother was the typical housewife who accepted everything and cried afterwards in front of us and blackmailed everybody psychologically…

And yes, seeing this panorama I did decide that I did NOT WANT THIS for my future.

I married the man I love, the one I decided who was good for me and fortunately I live now the way I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE.

My parents were very, very disgusted and they blackmailed me in every way… but it is MY LIFE and my life belongs to ME.

I decide over my life the same way as I do not decide over anybodies else life either.

What can you do?

Convince them? No, sorry, but it is much better to keep your ideas to yourself and simply do what you have to do.

You are 24 and I hope you did some studies in your life and that you are able to stand for yourself, if not yet then hopefully in the near future.

There is always a way, all you have to do is stay true to yourself and follow YOUR OWN RULES.

By the way, your parents will finally accept the new situation and although they might have tried to blackmail you as hard as they could, at last they will accept things the way they are.

But do not expect that they will change their opinion now.

Old dogs do not learn new tricks… but even old dogs adapt in a new house.

Don´t ask for their blessing, you are the only one who has to give yourself the blessing.

Stay strong, you will succeed in everything you want… as long as you try.

Answer 14

They do it because it's tradition. But at 24 years old, you're an adult, and no one can force you to marry against your wishes, no matter how "strict" they are. When they begin trying to arrange a marriage for you, you'll have to tell them no and be willing to face their displeasure.