Why do many girls think that it is a put down for men to admire them?

Question

I'm not talking about gawking, hooting or hollering.

Some women think that it is an implied insult for someone who is not in her "social class" (I.E.: poorer, less educated, less attractive) to ask her out, or even to speak to her.

This woman's question is an example of what I mean:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080624143105AAvvPZ7&r=w#RpZmKTXDC0FOtg6KRCLY

Are many women really still this superficial in this day & age?

Answer 1

I think its fear, and they wonder what is expected of them in such situations. Some women just do not like being approached in a certain manner, regardless of whether or not hes polite.

Answer 2

Because women like that feel that men are only admiring them because of their looks, not anything else.

Answer 3

I don't think that's being that superficial.  She was not saying that she was "put down" because someone admired her.  She was saying that it was strange that a man so much older would pursue her so persistently, which means that he obviously thought he had a chance.  Haven't you ever seen a women or man go after someone that you've felt was out of their league?  Let's face it people, looks matter.  And while it's nice and flattering to have someone admire you, there are times when you think to yourself, how on earth did that balding, pot-bellied, 50 year old guy think he was going to score with that thin, beautiful, 23 year old?  Plus, I think it's hypocritical - everyone knows what they look like.  If you are just so so, and you expect someone to find YOU attractive based on your personality, shouldn't you be able to look past the outside and find someone attractive based on their personality?  And what are the odds that the perfect 10 chick who is 23 also had the BEST personality?  At that age, she hasn't even figured out what her personality is.

I don't like her mentioning him being uneducated though.  It's not about that.

Answer 4

Some are....as are some men.  I mean would you be flattered if the woman with 5 babies by 5 daddies and 3 teeth asked you out everyday.  Sure if its once you'll give her a one sided smile (which looks more like you are scared) and say no.  But if it happens over and over, like in this case....it is a bit different.

Answer 5

because they are uneducated and insecure.

Answer 6

that girl's question sounds personal. maybe some older jerk is pursuing her. most women take it as a compliment to be desired.

the problem for women is when men don't desire them.

Answer 7

If the man is being respectful in admiring her, then there is not a problem. Some women are just superficial, sadly enough.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, many are.

I read that question and thought she sounded like an elitist. Would she have the same attitude if he were a doctor or a lawyer or a star NBA player? I doubt it!

Some girls will put up with "pawing" and worse if the guy has $$$$

Funny thing? Some of those girls would get their nose completely out of joint if a man they wanted to notice them rejected them and told them they weren't good enough...or accused them of being gold diggers.

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with admiring someone. However, if that includes leering and inappropriate comments, then that's just plain rude.

Answer 10

I think you're taking this out of context.  She doesn't want some old stranger touching her.  I don't blame her.

Answer 11

I dont know what so wrong with what she said.. I mean she could of been nicer about him being uneducated..

But beside that... he is some old crusty guy trying to feel her up.. How is she a snob b/c she doesnt want his hands on her body..

I wouldnt hug his nasty butt either.

Answer 12

Women?  Superficial?  Puh-leez.  If anyone is superficial, it's men.  For most men, a woman's appearance is their first priority.  How can you call women superficial when men are so worried about something as insignificant as looks?  If a very unnattractive woman asked a man out, he would probably react in a similarly "elitist" way.  But this doesn't happen, because women are capable of understanding when a person of the opposite s*x is "out of their league" and it seems like many men can't understand this.  Old or unnattractive men should not be asking out younger, attractive women, and vice versa.  If they insist on asking that person out or pursuing them, they should be prepared for an elitist attitude...after all, if the person can do much better in terms of dating, and the pursuer is aware of this, then they should know better than to pursue them.

Answer 13

I failed to mention that I honestly received a creepy vibe from him too...who knows why I did, but I did.

Answer 14

When a man approaches a woman in a professional context and keeps flirting with her - especially if she's already turned him down - it can be a way of telling her, "Your fancy degree doesn't matter, I still see you as a pair of ****, not as a professional or an equal."

A good example: I read about a (middle-aged, married) professor who tried to seduce one of his grad students, saying how gifted she was, and she turned him down. The next day he groped her butt in front of the whole class (which was mostly male) and said, "Time for class, dear." Several female grad students I know have told me similar stories.

Answer 15

If they are why would you want them.  Love has no barriers.  Look...some women never had anything so when they grow up they want rich men, or with a degree, or well, cute is good.  But if you have had it all and are sure of yourself it doesnt matter as long as you like the guy.  On the other hand some poor men or less educated can be really stuck up and think too much of themselves, so?  It just depends on who the person is and how white their heart is...

Answer 16

I am a girl myself, and actually, I'm not like that. Infact, I HATE superficial people, and I can't tolerate them, and I will DEFINENTLY NEVER be one of them. Some women like to judge others (and also men to) (regardless of male or female) and set other people to a standard that they don't set themselves to, so when they judge and approach others, they don't mind, but when they get judged themselves they get angry. Yeah, I know it's stupid and hypocritical. I know a boy who goes to my school (he's mexiacn and doesn't even speak English, and he's really poor) he has a huge crush on me and I seem to like him back (not as much though) but yeah. Infact, I don't prefer much rich men because they seem to have it easy . I prefer a guy that could hunt, (mabye even take care of himself in the wilderness) A guy that understands me and respects me, regardless of how much money he has. I have NO idea why I seem to like this illeagall alien back, I just do.

Answer 17

I think everyone is pretty superficial in this day and age, not just women. A big part of being "successful" in our society is beauty, whether you're a man or a woman. Thus the popularity of plastic surgery.

As far as women being admired by some who is not her "social class"...well, some women are just b..tches. Although it is an awkward position to have someone interested in you who you do not feel the same about, the situation can be handled decently and politely. Personally, I don't find that sort of thing insulting-just uncomfortable.