Why do many men assume ALL women like gold and diamonds?

Question

A friend of mine's boyfriend of 3 years decided to get her a random gift, a gold necklace with a diamond heart pendant, now she's very thrilled that he was thinking about her and got her this gift but now feels bad because she knows it's not something she would wear and kind of feels bad about it because she's thankful for the gift but doesn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him she doesn't like gold and diamonds (She likes rubies and silver).

Anyways, that's the situation and it got me wondering; Why do most men assume all women like diamonds and gold? Some of us don't and you would think after being with her 3 years he would know her well enough to know gold and diamonds aren't her thing. She's asked me how to approach him about it without hurting his feelings and, honestly, I don't know what to tell her (as I'm always very clear on my likes and dislikes so I never have issues like this) any suggestions on how I could help her on this one?

Answer 1

Here is what I do. I give a woman something that I like. I would rather have a vacation to Ventura or the Grand Canyon than a gold necklace. I would rather have a new car than a Rolex. But, women usually end up hating me, so don't listen to me, lol.

I only have one sexist thing in me. I always walk curbside when strolling down the street with a lady.

Answer 2

on your friend... think she should wear it a few times to make him happy even if it isn't her thing, be happy he was trying to be sweet.(which is was)  and not bring it up....unless it's a real expensive piece.  Hate for him to spend a Whole lot on something she will keep in the jewelry box....for future things....she needs to make a random drop by the jewelry store and point out the stuff she likes(the rubies)

Think men assume that b/c so many women like gold and diamonds...at least thats what the advertisements say.

Personally I like silver/white gold and emeralds.  Though the hubby hit the jack pot (at least in my mind) getting me a blue diamond engagement ring. (h**l ya!)

Answer 3

I think she simply say to him (in a happy way that doesn't make him think she's feeling uncomfortable or guilty about the heart pendant), "There's so much really nice jewelry,  I love it.  I've always loved both both gold and silver, but now I'm starting to lean toward silver as my favorite.   I'm thinking I may like to build up a collection of silver and ruby jewelry.  Those were always my grandmother's favorites - maybe I'm getting old."

If her boyfriend says something like, "The heart pendant wasn't good?"  she could say something like, "Are you kidding me?  I've always loved that.  It's just that I'm noticing I seem to gravitate toward silver and rubies these days, and I really love them."

An alternative could be if you tell him, "If you want to know what would be a great gift for Susie these days, she's starting to really like silver and rubies.  She was saying the other day how she'd like to collect a few nice pieces."

Don't bring up the heart pendant unless he does, in which case simply say matter-of-factly, "She loves that. I just thought I'd tell you she was saying she'd like to build a silver and ruby collection in case you'd like to know what to get her for her birthday."

Answer 4

Either they have been taught that.  

Or punished for being "cheap" in the past and a re fraid of not getting something that is "just right".

Answer 5

Why would he want her to wear something she hates?  Unless they break up, he's going to figure it out sooner or later, so she may as well tell him what she does and doesn't like, assuming they are trying to actually get to know each other.  This is a chance to do that.

Answer 6

Because almost all women are greedy, shallow and materialistic.

Answer 7

It is called PROGRAMING. The Media has for YEARS bombarded us with adds like Get her Diamonds, Diamonds are a girls best friend, Diamonds are forever so well. Ok on to the problem at hand. She could approach it this way. Tell him that she loves him very much and that she really likes the gift and will save it for very special occasions then she can go on to tell him that she is a more practical girl that Silver and Rubies offer her more occasions to wear them for future reference. See not all men are thick.

Answer 8

I assume women like cz for your information.

Are you ffff'n serious? Of all the **** that men put up with, ARE YOU F IN SERIOUS!!!!

Answer 9

Guys don't study a woman's jewelry.

He probably saw that she wore jewelry and figured that "gold and diamonds" were safe because let's face it....

Many women like that.

The fact that he didn't know the specifics of her jewelry tastes doesn't mean there's some male assumption issue.

Does she know every aspect of his tastes?

Does she know the exact type of tennis racquet he'd use with the proper string tension value? (assuming he plays tennis.  Use your imagination to envision other areas where specifics apply.)

You are over-thinking this.

Men don't really look at the specific makeup of their partner's jewelry.  We know it shines and looks good and makes our wives/girlfriens feel prettier when they wear it.

That's about it.

Answer 10

If it's a gift and happens to be beautiful, what's not to like?

Answer 11

She should keep it and just tell him that takes care of the gold and diamonds, not to buy any more of them.

If she does not want to wear it she could store it somewhere safe.

If he asks why she isn't wearing it she can say it is too special.

You never get your money back out of diamonds. They are the most grossly overvalued stone in the market. (even though they are nice)

Answer 12

it's not about what she likes, it's about what he wants her to wear to make her appear more attractive, men are very visual..

Answer 13

I like silver, too. If he love her, he accept what she like.

Answer 14

Sorry no idea.

OTOH my parent's insist of buying me expensive gold stuff when I've only worn Silver since I as 18. So glad they rarely see me so don't wonder why I don't wear it.

So I guess it's not restricted to just men.

.

Answer 15

idk victoria, i certainly don't.

tell him that yellow does not suit her skin tone.

perhaps most men think that women like gold and diamonds because most women do like gold and dimonds?

Answer 16

I agree with the answers that say you are over indulging in this issue.  

Truth is, close family and loved ones are usually the hardest to buy for, yet men seem to always cop the blame for buying inappropriate gifts.  Trust me, I have worked in retail for years (many different areas) and neither s*x has much of idea of what the subject likes/needs/wants or how to balance these criteria.  

Ever hear that the Father's day perennial gift is socks, yet women are conditioned to expect exactitude, pertinence and inspiration evident in the gift they receive?  

There has been a loss of the idea where once it was the thought that counts, within some sense of reason.   You provide the answer yourself:  Communication.  Give that to her as a gift of advice.

Or if you want a shorter version of my answer, I refer you to Baba Yaga's answer.  Sums it up!

Answer 17

He probably just wanted to do something nice and couldn't afford my personal favourite - emeralds.  ANYTHING goes with diamonds... they're kind of neutral.

Personally, the only issue I would have would be with the heart-shape.  Its so "little girl".  Not very sophisticated.  Maybe she could tell him something along those lines and exchange it for something else.  Maybe if she has pear-shaped earrings (for example) she could exchange it for something that matched her earrings better (you get the idea).

*I have to agree with Baba.  Although it personally wouldn't have been my choice to buy a piece of heart-shaped jewelry, its still a nice piece and was a very kind gesture of the boyfriend.

And to be honest, I have never heard of rubies being set in silver.  White gold maybe, platinum maybe, but not in silver.  Silver is just too cheap.  It tarnishes, and looks like c**p in no time.  Silver is not 'fine jewellry'; silver is for costume jewelry only.

Answer 18

I think your friend should wear the necklace under her clothing, close to her heart.  This was given to her by her boyfriend for no other reason except to express his love for her.  He probably put a lot of thought (not to mention money) into it.  I just can't see any way to say "you know honey, this is nice.  But what I really like is silver and rubies" without hurting his feelings.

Answer 19

I would tell her to be honest with him about preferring rubies and silver so he can exchange them at the shop he bought them from.  I think that most people assume that gold and diamonds are going to be a winner because of their worth and visual appeal.  She need not hurt his feelings by being honest, just telling him she likes gold and diamonds but prefers rubies and silver.

Answer 20

Most men are pighead and dont understand that women are people too. I.E. They like different things. Thinking that all women like dimands and gold is like saying all black people like watermelon and chicken. Me personal I hate watermelon and hate chicken with bones in it. Men need to learn to listen to what his woman wants and get her that. Even though she doesn't straight out says it she will drop her little hints like all people do.

Answer 21

Advertising is powerful.

Greed is basic.

Marking another person as belonging to one's group is a biological drive. Think of herd animals.

Answer 22

We don't think that ALL women like gold and diamonds.

We're just playing the odds.

99.99% of the time, gold and diamonds will be a 'good thing', as they are symbolic of monetary value.

Most women prefer this money to be given to them indirectly, such as in the form of wearable gold and diamonds than a direct cash payment.

It helps them to maintain the semantic illusion that they are not exchanging s*x for money.

Answer 23

She should keep her mouth shut and wear such a lovely gift proudly.  That's what you tell her.  She can wear it for him.  So what if she doesn't like gold and diamonds?

Answer 24

It is the grand age of consumerism.

She could just tell him that she appreciates the thoughtful gift, but gold and diamonds aren't her thing. She would prefer something with rubies or diamonds. Or she could tell him gold and diamonds aren't her thing, have him return the jewelry, and have him take her on a vacation or a fancy date where they can show their love for each other. Two options from me to choose from.

Answer 25

It seems most women like shiny expensive things, so for most men, gold and diamonds seem like the safest way to go.

Being materialistic is one thing, but she could at least appreciate the gift.

I really pity the men who waste their (presumably hard earned) money on such unnecessary things.

Answer 26

Conditioning & Learning.