Why do many parents deny their children birth control but get upset when they turn up pregnant?

Question

I have seen many teenagers on yahoo asking:

* How do they tell their parents they want to get on bc?

* How do they tell their parents their pregnant when their parents denied them bc?

Parents ask:

* What do they do when their 14 and 15 yr old daughters are pregnant?

* Should they put there daughters on birth control?

If my daughter asked me about bc, I would have a talk with her about s*x, pregnancy and stds to make her aware! I wouldn't tell her no birth control and no s*x! Don't parents know that kids rebel, especially teenagers! I would take her to the dr to be examined & put on birth control so there are no early pregnancies!

I was put on b.c. at 15 when my mom and I talked about s*x! She didn't hesitate to put me on the pill and I never got pregnant until I wanted to! I am now 23 yrs old, getting married next week and 23wks pregnant with a baby girl.

I want to hear your opinions! Thanks for answering!

Answer 1

Because they don't want them having s*x period.

So they deny bc because they think then their daughter will go have s*x thinking she won't get pregnant, but then the girl goes and has s*x anyways because she is rebelling. And she ends up pregnant and the mother is mad.

Personally, I'm on bc and I'm 13. But that's because I have PMDD.

I just think parents should put them on bc anyways and tell them about s*x as you said. Because then the girl knows if she is going to have s*x that she needs to be protected and understand about stds and everything. Instead parents think denying bc and not talking about s*x won't get the girl interested, when really, it just makes the teen want to have s*x more because she doesn't know all the risks.

=]

Answer 2

Parents are in denial. They don't want to accept the fact that their little girls are having s*x. If they approve the birth control, then it's like they [the parents] are saying "Yes, I approve, go have s*x!"

It's easier to get angry at a pregnancy, because it's "too late" or "what's done is done" then they [the parents] play the blame game. They blame their daughter and complain... "WHY?!"

Answer 3

Because they view the approval of birth control as an approval for their young teens to have sexual intercourse. With this, I'm in agreement. I have,& would still stress abstinence as the only acceptable solution because of my faith. Children that young shouldn't even be dating -- much less having s*x.

Answer 4

My aunt was one of those moms.  My cousin came to my mom and me when she was 16 asking how she should go about talking to her mom about BC because she and her boyfriend almost had s*x. My cousin finally went to her mom and her mom said "I am not giving you BC that is just me giving you the ok to have s*x" so my cousin didn't get her BC and 3 months later she ended up pregnant with her first son.  My aunt wouldn't talk to her about s*x or anything but allowed her to dress S****y with no problem and let her be alone at her boyfriends house really she made no sense.  

My mom was more the type to sit me down at 14 and make sure i understood that s*x could cause pregnancy or even STD's.  She told me that if I ever decided that i wasn't going to wait and wanted BC to come to her and she would get me an appt or if i didn't want her to know about it that the Dr would give it to me without her consent or there was a clinic that I could go to.  I knew my options.  I had my first son at 23 years old.  I totally agree with parents talking to their kids about s*x and the concequences and if you want your children to act responsibly give them the option and the choices.  If they come to you wanting BC then take them to the Dr.  I hate it when the parents are so shocked with the pregnancy but yet they wouldn't do anything about the BC.

Answer 5

People are usually in denial up until the proverbial "**** hits the fan."  In retrospect it's alot easier to see what measures you should have taken.  This is an especially taboo subject in America since everyone's goal is to "appear" perfect, which includes denying the potential of problems that don't yet exist.  It's really easy to say what you "will" do... that is until that time has already passed and didn't realize it.  You have to imagine that kids are going to give your child insight as to the subject of s*x long before you expect it to happen.  Before any alternative views enter their spectrum you need to counteract these perspectives with real information, which includes the risks of pregnancy and disease.

Answer 6

yea i think that it is pretty stupid too. my cousin, who is sexually active, did not want to ask her mother to put her on bc because she said she would get mad at her. uh hello!! she would get mad at that then what would she do when you came to her and said that you are pregnant?!? Kids ARE gonna do it anyways, we might as well keep them safe about it, i dont know why so many parents think that just cuz they tell their kids not to have s*x will work.

Answer 7

people dont like to think that they babies are growing up

because the years past so fast these days

Answer 8

Its the simple fact that parents have the misconception that if they do not get their daughter bc then they won't have s*x due to the possibility of pregnancy. They fail to realize that these kids are gonna have s*x one way or another and that is the whole reason for asking for bc in the first place. I,myself, have said that when my daughters are old enough and ask for bc I was going to say no for that very reason,but when I thought about it it got harder and harder to decide on an actual answer and reaction to this. On one hand I could say no,they have s*x unprotected and end up getting pregnant.

On the other hand I could get the bc for them and then I can know that they are out having s*x with whoever they want to and have a less chance of getting pregnant...either way its a horrible outlook on the situation and the possibilities of both outcomes. I don't want my daughters to get pregnant at an early age,but then again I don't want to give them a"HAve s*x however much you want with who ever you want pass" by getting them birth control.Yes there is the comfort of knowing if they are on bc then they are somewhat protected but as I said...it will always be in the back of my mind that it gives them the opportunity to do it when they want with whoever...I don't want to be responsible for that. I don't want my daughters to get pregnant at an early age and struggle like their father and I have(which I don't regret I just don't want them to have that type of stress that early in life)

I dunno I think I will let them get on birth control if they have a steady boyfriend they have been with for a while,but other than that I am hoping my outlook on the no birthcontrol no s*x option will actually work out  and they won't do it unless on bc...I'll have to cross that bridge when I get to it I guess.

Answer 9

i totally agree. of course i dont want my daughter sexually active at 15,but if she was i wouldnt mind getting her birth control.

Answer 10

CHILDREN should not even be allowed to date until they are at least 18!  

Most parents never think it will happen to their daughter.   It's a hard issue to face because you still see her as your 'little girl'.

Parents would never have to worry about this if they were allowed to put a chasity belt on their daughter and only give the key to her after she's married.....

Answer 11

I guess my opinion is that you should save s*x for when you are married, so for my teenagers, it wouldn't be something where just one day randomly out of the blue I was like, "Okay, you need to know about s*x and birth control because I don't want you getting pregnant"...  instead, I would've trained my children the whole time they were growing up that they wait til they're married and that it's something special for married people to do when they're ready to be mommies and daddies...

If I had a totally rebellious child, then I would pray like all get out, but eventually, it still comes down to that child/teen's decision to make, and it doesn't matter what I did or said to him or her, they'd still go out and have s*x, protected or not, if they wanted to..

Just my 2 cents. :)  And btw, I'm not trying to call anyone a bad name or anything, just stating what I believe the Bible says about s*x + what I would try to do with my children.. :)

Answer 12

thats easy because parents are hippocrites.

my mom said when i turn 16 i can take birth control to regulate my period but shed prefer i stay a virgin till out of college (just in case) i dont beleive in s*x before marrige anyways but thats me i tend to be a bit old fashioned about some things. i have nothing against people who have s*x before marrige i just woulndt do it personally.

Answer 13

my mom is a health teacher and she asks the same thing. she put me on birth controll when i was 13 .

Answer 14

I wouldn't put my daughter on birth control pills. I am very sensitive to hormones and know the havoc that birth control pills can wreak on a body.  I wouldn't doubt that my children would inherit this sensitivity.  For some people bc pills work wonders and they never have a problem a day in their lives.  

But that's not so for everyone.  I wouldn't want to put my child through hormonal craziness during an already hormonally crazy time.  I would educate my child about s*x, STDs, pregnancy, and say no having s*x.  But I wouldn't throw the kid on birth control just because they're a teenager, especially not knowing firsthand the health risks that could occur.  I would let my child make an informed decision on whether to use bc on her own after her body (and hormones) have settled down.

Answer 15

Usually it is Christian or conservative parents that say no birth control because they think their daughters will start having s*x with every guy they see. They don't understand that people will have s*x anyway..its a natural human desire. I think parents should just teach the children to have responsible s*x and provide them with birth control and raise them not to be s***s :]

Answer 16

Because they think there kids are so innocent. My parents were curious about what high school is like so I just told them; people brag about having s*x and most people get drunk or high on the weekends. They were shocked. My mom and dad are super open about s*x; they don't want me to have it but if I was in a serious relationship I don't think they'd care because I'm 18 so they can't really tell me what to do anymore. But since they've been open, I'm not afraid to ask questions and I know that it's okay to talk to parents about that stuff because they're there to guide us and help us out. Now I know a lot of information that most people my age don't about how to stay protected and I'm thankful that I do. It helps when your parents tell you stories about their situations to help you with your relationships. I wish parents were more open schools shouldn't have to do it all.

Answer 17

I agree with you 100%. Parents need to have an open dialog for s*x talks, and they need to offer protection when it's asked for, or when they are sexually active. I don't understand it either, I'd never say no to my kids if they asked for birth control. I'd hope I was open enough for them to know they could ask me.

Answer 18

They shouldn't be having s*x in the first place at that age--there's ample study to suggest they aren't mentally capable of handling the situation and for crying out loud they are children!

When I was 15 I would have never dreamed of even holding hands with a boy and only started being interested in them when I was in my later teens (17-18).

I've been with my current boyfriend for over 2 years (I'm almost 22) and I've been on the pill since about 6 months after we started going out just to be safe.

It IS a personal choice when going on the pill--something that the parents have to discuss with the children so they're not on it before they're ready, but if the kids are under the legal age of consent they should not even be considering the Pill or any method of birth control.  Laws are made to protect people and I can't say I've missed out on anything just because I waited until I was legally able to consent to s*x.