Why do many people still think of a woman's virginity a something she "gives up", like some kind of "gift"?

Question

Isn't that kinda sexist and patriarchal to assume she's "giving something away" when she has s*x for the first time, as if virginity is some kind of "prized possession"? It implies that she has something "less" after she "gives it away".... which is patriarchal bull$hit

(Anyway, why isn't male virginity thought of in the same way?)

Answer 1

Cause it's something very important and special...

Answer 2

I think there's more importance and hype about a woman's virginity because physically, there's a change, in that the hymen tears (though most people are aware that it can tear in other ways). So in some way it can be "taken", whereas there isn't really a physical change for a man when having s*x for the first time. It could also be an ego thing; most men want to be a girls "first", whereas women are more concerned with being a man's last. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is. I certainly don't condone promiscuity, however being a virgin means you're not having s*x.. and that is so great *because*?

In some cultures women can be stoned to death if it is found they aren't virgins (and not married). These same cultures, as well as some western organized religions, seem to think that s*x is only permissible in marriage and a lot of them still facilitate arranged marriages. Now the thing I don't get is, in these cultures/religions, a woman can meet a man one or two times and then they can get married, without love, or a strong liking for that matter. There are even cases where the bride doesn't even meet her so called husband until her wedding day, yet in the eyes of those cultures it is okay for these people who barely know each other to have s*x, because it is within marriage. Yet woman, or couples I should say, who're in longterm, loving relationships, to those same people it would be wrong and an abomination, basically because a peice of paper isn't signed. I don't see the logic in that.

There's defintely more of an emphasis on women being virgins than there is men and it is alluded to that a woman who isn't a virgin is somewhat "less valuable" or "cheap" yet these stereotypes aren't really placed on men who aren't virgins, so in many ways there is a double standard.

Answer 3

Because quite simply they risk more than men when having s*x. Can a man get pregnant?.. Uhhh no.  

Answer 4

I agree with you. As for why a woman would want it back, several cultures believe that a woman who loses her virginity is soiled unless it was her husband that took it. It is possible to get it back. There is a surgery, Hymen replacement surgery, which can restore a woman's Hymen so that she does not get stoned or ostracized.  

Answer 5

The "enlightened age" we live (last 30? years) is only an instant in time compared to ages and ages of patriarchal attitudes that permeate our society, our language.  And the truly thoughtful people who make an effort not to be sexist are a minority.  A lot of society is carelessly patriarchal or deliberately so.

Male virginity?  Too tired, too late...  has to do with different reproductive strategies - male can impregnate many females, females can only be pregnant one pregnancy at a time, then invest self in nursing.  Links to males supporting, investing in child- his child(?). Controlling mating access, eventually leading to patriarchies.

Answer 6

its just implying its something you cant get back, which is true. and for males, its just  cultural thing. females "give" it up, males "take" it. its just like the order of things