Why do men dislike other men who dare to be different?

Question

Some men like to cook for their partners, groom themselves, dress nicely, be attentive, watch chick flicks, have a sensitive side and yet macho men want to verbally attack them. Anything different from the macho mould gets attacked. Are men afraid of other men who want to show their feelings?

Answer 1

I despise them as they represent an insipid ideal, a slick  feminista/liberalese construct that dominates the mass media.  I despise the ideal itself because it is continually used as a club to repudiate the traditional roles that I've grown mature enough to respect.  The antagonism is thus mutual.  Btw, every "show" of feelings denotes a lack of self-control, which is more to be pitied than feared.

Answer 2

Because they are more than likely g*y but hiding in the closet.

Answer 3

I think that "macho" IS something they cling to, and any deviation from it IS a threat to their narrow perceptions of masculinity. As someone said "What if women expect that?" Well, isn't "macho" what our society expects? What's the difference? You're living up to a false reality. Just be yourself, and let others be the way THEY are. If you're "hyper-masculine," then bully for you, but hurting others because they're not a carbon copy of you and society's drone-like ideal of "manliness" doesn't make you a man, it makes you a douche-bag.

Answer 4

I think it's like crabs in the basket mentality to an extent. If one guys is breaking out of the slavery of gender- specific expectaions the others despise it and seek to claw him back down and make him conform.  Most people male or female truly resent someone having freedom that they themselves are too cowardly to taste.

Answer 5

that's not how i see it, when i hit my 20s it was macho guys who were bashed and laughed at, in my circles anyway. there was a general feeling that these guys were somehow lesser. the metro thing is on the wane in europe now but i think the majority of men, especially urban men are put together these days.

if a man chooses to distance himself from p.c.ness

and ineffectual feminised men it doesn't automatically mean that they are knuckle scrapers.

some feminists always try to stereotype people who don't agree with them.

Answer 6

The men who bash the more sensitive men are frightened and jealous if them.They are frightened of the power that these other men can have over women and jealous because they are unable to access their emotions the way the more sensitive men can.I used to have a thing called the  Michael Franks test back in the 80's. He's a mellow, soft voiced vocalist that men used to either love or hate.I'd play Micheals music on date to see a guys reaction. If the guy acted mean and made fun of Michael  then I knew immediately what he was all about.Sounds kinda goofy but it worked.So back to   your question, yes men do fear what they themselves cannot understand.But mostly they fear a certain loss of position and power over women emotionally.

Answer 7

Its the other way arround too('sensitive" men looking down on normal men).  Women looking down on others women too, so your question is flaw.

Answer 8

Because it's highly likely that women will see that, and then in turn expect the cowardly men who don't dare to be different to be like that.

Also, most men show their feelings.

And attentive? That another way of saying whipped?

Personally I dislike these "men" because of the effect they have on women, namely, turning them against the normal, and apparently by proxy, cowardly men. As demonstrated quite clearly here.

Though I'm sure I come off as intolerant, and thereby invalidating my perspective.

Answer 9

I know men who are afraid to be seen as different. I have male friends who will share their different sides with me or talk to me about feminist issues, poetry, philosophy, etc.. but as soon as they are around the guys- it's sports, action movies, work related stuff. I even had a guy whisper in class to me that he loves Feminist Theory. I was shocked. He would NEVER admit this to the guys though.

Answer 10

most men and women are just insecure

Answer 11

because theyre g*y but just dont realize it yet

before i get a violation...lol ill say...ok there probly not g*y..but they probly are taking it to hard (the man bashing thing)

guys give c**p to guys..if they cant take it then they have all these "feelings" about it...who cares ...its guys doing guy stuff giving each other c**p...get over it

Answer 12

I'll take one of those men you just described. They make better boyfriends. My last boyfriend couldn't cook, was insensitive, and definitely was worthless.

Answer 13

Because women have had liberation, men still think they have to conform to the ideals of 'being a man'.

Answer 14

I am perfectly happy with men not liking me.  I ain't never wanted it any other way. It's the women that have given me fits.

Answer 15

Dislike? Nope...  

I do however feel bad for them because from my personal experience, they are the type of men who often get walk all over on and get push around by women.

But if that how they like it, then it's their choice.

Answer 16

They're not afraid, just not comfortable with the feeling (your unconscious mind is feeling that). Your conscious mind, however, looks down upon it as something men shouldn't do, gender wise especially.

In another way of thinking, the "macho" men want to show off to the opposite s*x. It's human nature, like drinking hot sauce alone would be to show the woman they like how strong they are. Some would think it's stupid, but research shows that men do that to show their partners how strong they are and want to make a good impression on them. =)

Or, in a vaguer sense, they just don't like it. *shrug*

Answer 17

Many men...and women...want to keep the status quo...so they don't have to change...and aren't asked or expected to change. Someone who is....or does..or gives...more....

represents a clear danger to their status, and way of life. Again...not just men...but women too, are like this. A woman is in more attentive and feminine than her contemporaries is also at risk of being disliked or ostracized for 'being different'.

Answer 18

And then they turn around and blame women/feminists for the fact that men are being treated this way. These are people who guard the status quo so tightly that any deviation from it is unacceptable to them.

Answer 19

Yes, I fear a guy who couldn't harm my hairdresser.  The sad truth is that guys like that get trampled on by women.  It's our way of saying I've been down that road it doesn't work.

Answer 20

Anyone who is in any way aggressive or bullies another needs to look closely at themselves and ask why it bothers them so much! If they were happy and liked themselves, they wouldn't care what someone else does or how they dress etc.

Have you ever noticed how those that attack others because they are different are usually the people that have the most uninteresting, unsatisfying lives? They are usually the more uneducated and unworldly types..... Yet full of opinions and scrutiny towards others!

As a human race we're evolving... Those people will die off eventually.

:-)

Answer 21

I think that for a lot of people, there's strength in numbers. I think that the macho men are often threatened by the sensitive, civilized guys, because they're afraid that if women see the way these guys behave and are impressed, they'll then be pressured to give up their macho ways.

Answer 22

Because they have been taken away from the patriarchy, and have been brainwashed by the feminist matriarchy.

I simply espise them, the same way a oppressed Jew would despise an Aryan in n**i Germany.

Answer 23

Because the macho men feel threatened.  "Macho" is all they've got and when macho isn't desirable then... well... they're dinosaurs!

Answer 24

Quite frankly I do not care what another guy does or not.  As long as it doesn't affect me or its something that is unjust.

Different people have different passions. I don't think is anybody business.

Answer 25

Funny, except for watching chick flicks, I am a man as you have described.  But other men respect me and do not think I am anything less than a man.  No, I am not the machismo-fuel predator, keeping score with every new "conquest".  But they appreciate my company and often delight in the encounters I share.

And mind you, most encounters with (or without) women do not involve anything sexual.

Answer 26

The verbal attack is out of insecurity and this goes both ways.  However sensitive people are more prone to the attack because of their sensitive nature, whereas a macho man can theoretically easily brush it off. You don't hear many macho men complain about being attacked for not showing their feelings.

The Male's role is evolving and society has become more open to the "Sensitive" male. At the same time the Female's role is also evolving and there are more women who are attracted to men who can show their softer side.  The "Macho" male is not afraid of men who show their feelings, rather they have trouble accepting change and/or revealing that sensitive side so easily, so they attack what they don't know.  

You can either do one of two things, continue to verbally attack the other personality type, or you can do something about it.  If you're macho, why not learn how to cook, groom/dress for special occasions and see a counselor to learn how to listen or show that sensitive side in way you still feel comfortable.  If you're sensitive seek a counselor that specializes in sensitive personalities and learn not to be affected so much by people's remarks.

Answer 27

Not so much afraid ,but rather can't relate.

Can't relate to that kind of thing anymore than I could to a guy who's idea of a good time was listening to classical music while reading the bible.

Answer 28

Do they?  I don't know any who do.  There's nothing particularly unusual about men cooking, most of the men I know cook.  I have no strong views on grooming, but a lot of men seem to do that kind of thing nowadays, I was extremely disconcerted recently while watching TV to see Pierce Brosnan advertising an anti-wrinkle cream for men.  Personally, I think on the whole I prefer men not to become too obsessed with their looks, it's tedious enough that women are always fussing about their appearance without men starting as well.

And aren't most people attentive to their partners if they care about them?  Is that seen as a particularly un-macho thing?  Why?  Are most men really hostile to the idea of showing consideration to their partners?  I wonder why?  it sounds like you must know some very brutish men.