Why do men hurt us in relationships, taking what we say so literal and when dumped, they replace us so quick?

Question

With my EX he was dating some horrible S****y girl in just over a week after we split, and they are still together

How do guys do it?

Answer 1

You shouldn't generalize all guys like that. Not all of them do it.

Answer 2

Holy crabbie patties Spongebob!  I actually agree with part of what Ms. Happy is saying!  Anyhoo both men and women do what happened to you.  BTW when women get older, they replace men faster than men replace women.  There are lots of lonely older guys living alone.  And their former girlfriends pick themselves up overnight.  

Sorry this happened to you and good luck to you.  You sound like you have a special heart & soul.  

Answer 3

Its simple: because they can't stand being alone.  They're unhappy in their own skin,  don't enjoy their own company, don't know how to entertain themselves, they don't know what to do.  They are LOST.  Yet the irony is these guys fail to see how utterly dependent on women they are.  

These are the same guys who were very clingy in the relationship as you will recall.  He never had the balls to break up with you: you had to do it, and he didn't want the relationship to end, no matter how loveless it had become.  They need a woman to cling to,  Any woman, it doesn't matter which.  The young girls are (often) pretty dumb: we are more "seasoned" and know what they have yet to learn.  The hard way.

But the kicker is... he learned nothing from the experience.  You did.  He is DOOMED to repeat the same self-defeating behaviors over and over and over again... always getting dumped, yet never figuring out WHY.  One day he will look in the mirror, alone again,  and see a senior citizen staring back.

Of course not all men are like this, but some are and its good to know they exist.  They are invariably sexist; keep your eyes open.

Answer 4

You obviously picked the wrong guy.  Any one that can "replace" you so quick wasn't really in love with you or they would feel something.  But girls do it too, you know.  Do you remember how quick Jennifer "Jenny from the Block" Lopez jumped from Puff Daddy to Ben Affleck--almost as if he was waiting in the wings?  Some people date just for the sake of dating, others just don't like being alone.  And not all men hurt women in relationships.  These types of men will tend to replace you quickly because they never cared for you.  Search for guys who you can talk to aside from sexual intimacy.  Those who are interested in doing activities with you or just hanging out as friends.  No one, guy or girl, that is truly in love will pick up another person like a spare part as soon as the ex is out of the picture.  If the person isn't trying to make their ex jealous then maybe the new relationship is a rebound one for the guy / girl.  

Answer 5

Its called progress yeah. Just a rule of thumb water rises to its own level.

Answer 6

We don't hurt you; your reactions to the quite reasonable things we say and do hurt you; ergo, you hurt yourself.

We take things literally because words have specific meanings, and when you say certain words in a certain order it means a certain thing.  It's called "language" sweetheart.

What? We're supposed to sit around moping?  Maybe you think you're special and unique.  You're not.  There are over 3 billion women in the world; why do you imagine there aren't millions of women just like you?      You are easily replaced and when we break up with you (whether you dump us or vice-versa) we haven't really lost anything.  

Look at it this way; should I cry if I spill my drink of water?  I've got unlimited access to free drinking water!

Answer 7

Some men are on an ego trip. They just want to get laid by as many women as possible - and they don't care who they hurt in the process. They haven't really grown up. You should look for a real man next time. One who is willing to take the time to get to know you - out of the bedroom. One who treats you with the kindness and respect you deserve. Those men are rare, lol.

Good luck! :-)

Answer 8

tracey you were clearly abused or hurt by a guy and now for some reason think that women are infallable and men are pigs lol lets just say your never getting laid again....the only thing thats gonna s***w you is the flu

Answer 9

well, it works both ways. for some guys women are playthings, its easy for some blokes to flit in an out of relationships, and sadly some women allow themselves to be used like that. but not all men are the same. didnt let one bad experience put you off relationships,  the other thing worth mentioning is that obviously you are far better looking than the S****y girl but you should also feel sorry for her. your ex was obviously sending a message to you by publicly being seen with someone so soon after, but actually the trophy is yours, you are the single one, enjoy it, dont focus your ex any more cos you will lose all the positive thoughts you had. good luck.  x

Answer 10

works both ways, hon !

Answer 11

Well what else did you think was going to happen? I mean did you expect him to take a year off until he got over you?  

Answer 12

Hang on, this bloke you dumped actually went out, found someone else and moved on.  Hmmmmmmm.  Yes, I see where the issue is: he did that, and you, for whatever reason, feel he should be suffering alone, missing you and more.

Well, some people move on better than others.  In some ways, you dumping him did him a favour: you left him nothing to conect you to him, and he knew it.  That you feel all let down and everything is hardly his fault.

You call her horrible and S****y.  Why would you even care?  What is it to you?  Why is it even your business: you ended it, so it is ended.  Unlike Ms Happy, this bloke does not seem clingy and needy for you at all.  remember, you dumped him, so why do you want him to be clingy anyway?  Not all guys can do this, but don't expect ANY guy to indulge you by suddenly waking up the day after a relationship is over and realise he missed the greatest thing on earth when you dumped him.

He hurt you?  Well I am sure you gave as good as you got. YOU need to learn from your mistakes as well and realise that while he may have been any number of bad things, you would have been too.  Relationships rarelyfail because of what one person did.

Move on, get over this situation and yourself.

Answer 13

Ah, the great annoyance and complexity of men. If they weren't so s**y I'd be g*y. Not all guys are like that. Have hope. I'm hoping.

LuthienT

Answer 14

Maybe its the kind of guy that you are attracted to ?

Answer 15

That's not a male specific trait I'm afraid.  

And what's wrong with taking somebody literally, ie; at their word?

Answer 16

Because we men love our own space. We’re happy in our own skin, and enjoy our own company, know how to entertain ourselves.

We find women too dependent on men.

It is women who were very clingy in the relationship, as you know. You know you said and did the wrong thing yet woman needs to cling.

I hope you now see your mistake from the experience. If not you’ll repeat the same self-defeating behaviours over and over and over again... always getting dumped, yet never figuring out WHY

Answer 17

He took you at your word - in other words he trusted you to speak for your self - rather than play games by not saying what you meant. IF you cant then grow up.

You dumped him and he moved on - now you don't like that? grow up.

Why do they hurt women in relationships ... well lets see ... you complain he trusted you enough to take you on your word, so that means you never did speak truthfully - tell me exactly how much of a warm fuzzy feeling do you think you gave him? And exactly what worth as a person do you think you must have come to have in the end?

grow up - your complaints out line you as emotionally abusive.

Answer 18

That is easy: Men want s*x.

For the last 100 million years, female mammals copulate with high s*x males, thus ensuring the next generation of men is the same.

Only a feminist-fool would expect that men would be different.

Answer 19

You dumped him but expected him to sit at home waiting for you to call him back?  He did what he should've done, move on with his life.  You should too.

Answer 20

"Why do men hurt us in relationships?" Why do women hurt men in relationships? It cuts both ways you know.

"Taking what we say so literal". We men don't read between the lines. You women know that. So why don't you talk straight to us? We're not mind readers you know!

"When dumped, they replace us so quick?" Hmm. Triumph of hope over experience? The thing is, most men need women for s*x, so they move fast when they have to. Also they regard it as a matter of honour to show you, the dumper, that they're not as undesirable as you think they are! And they also get kudos from their male mates.

Everything clear now?