Why do men marry who they don't love, but love someone that can't have?

Question

In love with a married man. I believe in letting go of those you need to and i did for three years we were separated two different parts of the world no contact and i thought I moved on. Now our paths have crossed again and the feelings are stronger than ever. Now What do I do? Can you lend some advise?

Answer 1

BECAUSE IT EXITING

Answer 2

No idea...thats a great question

Answer 3

being the other woman is the hardest thing because usually the guy always goes home to his wife! But if he really loved you he would give her up.... Its really not you its him!

Answer 4

Just let him go he is a married i'm sorry but that is the truth i would be pissed if someone tried to steal my man

Answer 5

Probably the same reason women do.

Answer 6

I really don't know but good luck.  

Answer 7

I think it's human nature, but probably more prevalent among men than women. It could have started years ago as men were roaming the earth trying to carry on the species. We had to really go out and find some mates. (monkey sounds) lol

Anyway, it's probably just in our blood, just like a lot of guys have that competitive feeling and also the macho thing. It's another thing that we may want to curb to be able to relate in today's society.

I also think it takes a very mature man to realize the woman he has married is someone he really loves as long as she is treating him alright. It's just too easy to take not just things, but 'people' for granted.  

Answer 8

Unless he leaves his wife, you have to let this go. I know it hurts, and I know it makes you feel like you don't want to hear it. But, it's true.

And think about it.... if he was in love with you, he would have already made it clear by leaving her.

Don't do this to yourself anymore. Try really hard to move forward...

Good Luck.

Answer 9

tell him or remain silent...those are your choices. Pick the one you think you can live with.

Answer 10

I believe it's because loving someone who you can't have is exotic... something that is wrong, but makes you feel young, free, alluring. If your presently married, then I say either forget him again, or talk to your husband. Things can work out- but don't put too much faith in men. I had a friend who had an affair on her husband with a single man. She divorced her husband and before it final, her boyfriend ran off with someone else. These things can't be predicted- and I'm sorry.

Good Luck.

Answer 11

the only married man you should be in love with is your husband. If you are in love with a man that is married to someone else you should see a therapist and try and work on issues that would make you want things not available to you.  

Answer 12

Let it go. Please, I hate homewreckers! Who cares if your feelings are stronger than ever? What if the man has a kid? Does the kid have to be hurt because of YOUR selfish needs? And if he does leave his wife, what's not to say he won't do that to you?

Don't fool yourself that man prob. loved his wife once too, the heat prob just died down. Usually "passionate love" only lasts 3 years the longest. After that it many turn to family love or etc. So do yourself and the rest of us a favor and forget him. Since you believe in letting go, let him go.  

Answer 13

Do you really think all men marry people they don't love? You are an idiot just trying to justify the fact that you are a S****y ho that can't do any better than married men.  Karma will kick you in the a** ten fold.

Answer 14

Yes, is he still married?  If so, you don't need an answer from anyone else; he's given it to you.  If a man is in a loveless marriage, he would leave it for someone he loved.  With you, he can have both worlds.....his comfortable marriage and you.  The problem is that he moves on with his life and you stagnate in yours.  Hold onto the lovely memories, but move on and develop your own life.

Answer 15

Those feelings are naturaL  We can love anyone who we choose to open ourselves up to.  Over a lifetime, that might mean many different people, both platonically and sexually.  Your problem isn't feelling things, your problem is keeping promises and forming commitments and establishing trust and boundaries with people.  You can't control feelings, but you can control actions.

Answer 16

Ask yourself, if this guy was sick and was incapacitated and had horrible diarrhea at the end of his life, would you be there to clean up after he defecated all over himself?  If so, this is your true love.

Answer 17

Sure. Let me give you some advice. Why don't you take the time to think about how you would feel if you were married and some woman took your husband away from you, it wouldn't feel good now would it??

It sounds to me like you need to get out and socialize more and start making friends and I mean socializing with SINGLE GUYS!

How do you know he doesn't love the person? If he didn't love her he obviously wouldn't have married her unless he was overly desperate to get married

By the way. When I first married my husband two years ago, I had a problem with an ex girlfriend of his calling him all of the time spending an hour or more on the phone and flirting with. I made it quite clear to her that I didn't appreciate her calling and I made it quite clear to him that I think that this woman is a very disrespectful little ****** and she needs to stop the c**p. Needless to say the phone calls are few and far apart and very quick.He told her that I don't like her because of the way she behaves.

So um...now you know how you may be viewed by some women by messing around with a married man

Answer 18

This, of course, isn't about all married men, this about one married man in question.

I was married for six years.  We loved each other but love wasn't enough.  Now he's re-married to the "mother of his child".  Not once has he said he loved his new wife.  It's kind of pathetic but he has to deal with it now. I loved him once but I have moved on to a great guy.