Why do men who are self conscious think little of themselves?

Question

I have recently met this guy that I really like and I think he is really cute. But besides that, I also think he is smart and has a good head on his shoulders. But he thinks little of himself and he calls himself ugly. Even though he is very young and has his whole life ahead of him. But why do some guys feel like that? Have they been hurt by society or what?

Answer 1

some of us really truly are ugly.

life is not fair...it jsut isn't..

on this side at least

Answer 2

kinda. Im 14 and I don't have the football build. I happen to play golf. I feel as if Im frowned upon by girls because my life is golf. Plus thats all Im good at. Im not a loser, Im average according to people but I feel like Im doing midget p**n while everyone else is doing hardcore. lol

Answer 3

Im a 24 yr old man.

I feel like society and the media makes me insecure with being a man. I know that I am good looking from my best friends opinions, etc. And even if I werent, I would feel the same.

Women like to make men who act manly, or that have body hair, or anything thats not feminine seem to be horrible or bad, and its an issue I will struggle with until I can get help. And now my gf has to suffer with it because i'm secretly hurting and resentful of her.

Answer 4

Well the truth is that females have all the control in a relationship, although guys don't ever admit it.  Because of this, if a woman tells a guy that he's ugly it can cause much emotional damage.  If a guy is arrogant or self-conscious these are both signs of insecurity.  Many men are more sensitive than you think, but in our society men find it hard to admit that, out of fear of being labeled a wuss or whatever.  It's a fact that men have very fragile egos and can be hurt easily in those areas.

Answer 5

Because, since they feel like they might be ugly or dumb or whatever, telling themselves until they believe it helps to prepare them for when others tell them. If you do a project which you think might have been of low quality, you would probably tell everyone that you didn't really put effort into it or that you did it at the last hour. That way, if you get a low grade on it, you won't exactly be as disappointed as if you had given yourself high expectations.

Answer 6

Well coudl be a lot of things....either he's trying to be modest, he's really hard on himself, or he probably went through some bad times that lowered his self-esteem alot.

I'm like that too, my wife hates it cause she adores me and thinks i'm the finest thing on the planet...I kinda realize it too, but i know there's people finer than me, smarter than me and all that, so i don't try to get a big head and I keep telling her im' not all that...and even then if i WAS then i'd have women rushing to get with me which i dont' really...but thats' the whole 'trying to be modest' ordeal.

Accomplishment means a lot, and if he feels he hasn't done much in his life or accomplished anything..or his goals are being shot then it can lower his self-esteem alot, almost to feeling completely useless regardless of his talents....i get that way too especially when you FAIL at things atrociously...fortunately my wife came into my life and changed my hopelessness, so i've lost a lot of that low self-esteem.  

THEN whatever he probably went through in his life could make him that way....be it hard parents, lots of failures, picked on in school or never was successful in stuff....women might have hurt him or dissed him, stuff like that....it all depends.

Much like what my wife did with me you just have to support him and ensure him how you feel about him...he'll be stubborn about it, but alot of times that just feeds his ego, and if anything he'll feed off that and appreciate you. MAY NOT seem like it since he'll probably always find some excuse or defend himself, but either way it works out, but don't overdo it ....always take things in moderation...even feedin a low self-esteem. :).

Answer 7

You said it,   hurt by society

bullies in childhood,  mean or very unfair teachers,  sensitive but people were rude to him, could be some abuse of some kind in his childhood,  sexual abuse or not sexual abuse but other abuse like too strict parents, or neglect, or not abuse but embarrassed because grew up poor or parents had unglamourous occupations, or never been loved before, so many possible causes

Answer 8

<===#3 is small!!

Answer 9

He probably has a small winky. That usually does it.

Find me a man with a large sausage with low self-esteem and I'll give you $100.