Why do modern women who want a career have a hard time supporting a man so he can stay home with the children?

Question

Neat April ^^ career women left by hubby or carreer women sponsoring their child a father are extempt of course.

Answer 1

The only AMERICAN families I know of that have that structure are distorted ones.  The man stays home to "watch the children".  He sets them in front of movies in the back with a bag of processed cookies, then he gets on the computer and plays DOTA all day.

Once we men start cleaning up our act, we are more likely to come off as genuinely concerned for our children rather than lazy.

Of course, in England, there is no problem whatsoever.  My cousin is a stay at home dad and his wife has no problems working all day to support him.  They are happily married, and have been for 13 years.  

If only the colonies would take after it's mothership, you people might have a better time existing.

Answer 2

Well, I DO support my husband, who watches our kids. I'm a soldier, and he's the stay-at-home-parent. It works for us. It works better than it did when he was the breadwinner and I was the stay-at-home. He doesn't clean as well as I do but he makes the effort, and I can touch up on weekends. Plus, I make more money than he did. So... it worked for us. : )

Answer 3

It has more to do with the fact that many men refuse to stay at home with the children. If my husband would quit his job, i'd let him- i need a good old-fashioned fifties wife. Unfortunately, that is not his choice, and i'd never force that upon him.

Answer 4

Because the men don't want to give up their 'career' and become a house parent.

Answer 5

People bandy about the word "feminist" like it is a bad and negative word. A feminist is ANYONE (male or female) who believes that a woman deserves the same rights as a man. That includes pay, job opportunity, et cetera. Most men and women are indeed feminists. I don't know why people keep implying a negative connotation.

On to the question, I would have no problem with my husband staying home if I made enough money AND I would have no problem staying home if he made enough money. I think there have been some good points made about the cost of day care versus the daily income. It is an individual choice that each family needs to make. Staying at home with your children does not make you any less of a woman or a man. It makes you a caring parent.

Answer 6

Maybe more women feel like they shouldn't be responsible for supporting another able-bodied, able-minded adult.

Answer 7

What is this even based on? I plan on becoming a lawyer and having my boy stay home with the kids (when we decide to have them). Are you saying that I'm not financially capable? Because I'm a modern woman? What I'm getting out of this is very overt sexism. You have no proof, not stats, no nothing. Just your "experiences" tell you that women have a hard time supporting a man while he stays at home with the children. You know why feminism is important? because there are still stereotypes and set roles for men and women. Society is telling me and my boy that it is not "normal" for a woman to work while her hubby stays home with the kids. It's tell us that you're not manly if you don't support your family financially. If you get your hands dirty and get involved with your kids lives instead of going to work, you're not worth anything to society. And it's basically guilt tripping women into dropping their careers. You aren't a good woman if you don't stay home and raise your kids. This has nothing to do with how capable a gender is. Men and women are equally qualified to raise kids or go to work or BOTH. This is about what society tells us over and over and over and over what we are.

EDIT: Oh, I'm sorry if that was confusing. I just assumed that you were saying that since women can't handle it emotionally, they therefore cannot handle it financially, because they would basically not take on the job.

Answer 8

I think it has more to do with women ability to financially support a man as well as the man's emotional ability to be supported.  Many still feel it is their job to provide for the family.

Answer 9

That is probably because the man has a higher paying job by having a trade,degree or working longer hours and if he was to stay at home, then there'd be the loss of his income.  Plus as my partner has said, after a week of being at home, he gets bored.  Maybe that's a factor for a few men out there.

I do know a female pediatrician whose husband stays at home to look after their two daughters though and they're doing wonderfully.  She is happy to support her family financially.

Families weigh up the pros and cons of daycare vs what the husband(or mother) would lose if he didn't work that day.

Often, the cost of daycare is alot less than the cost of losing a days income.  That's why the father often stays working.  Same for the mother if they really need the money, otherwise it makes more financial sense to stay at home until the child is school age.

Answer 10

I can't answer that.

Sometimes I would much rather be the one out working and if that were the case I would have no problem supporting my husband since to me the kids come first and I do feel that parental care is superior to daycare.

Answer 11

Because feminists believe in equality only when its convenient.

Answer 12

any chick that wants to support me is free to do so.  I'll look after the kid, why not?

Edit: but I need some cash for my car and I want a new boat

Answer 13

Modern men dont have the same hangups about this as women do. I know a couple who do this and the reality is that he does a better job as a stay at home parent than most of the women we know. She makes a very nice living and neither seem to have any issues. Now you go ask some of the other moms about their feelings and many are very quick to attack him. They feel its his job to be the bread winner not hers and they wonder why his wife allows him to stay at home doing nothing.

Thats the amazing part of it. These women actually say he does nothing but if you suggest even for a brief moment that a stay at home mom does nothing then your in for a fight.

Women are quicker to enforce gender roles when it is in their favor, men are pretty even handed about it. My husband has stated in front of friends and family on many occasions he would have no problem staying home and raising the kids if I was able to be the bread winner. I believe him too. In my opinion women are just plain selfish, they don't just want but they expect to get all the perks but cant handle the responsibilities that go along with them.

How many times do you here a wife who works say that his money is OUR money but my money is Mine.

Modern women want to be taken care of and never shoulder the stress of being relied upon, that's why Daycare is booming.

Answer 14

If that man is going to take on all that it entails....I have nooooo problem at all but I am not bringing home the bacon cooking it AND washing his skid marked shorts.  I've got no problem with any stay at parent as long as they're pulling their weight.  The problem many women have with stay at home dad's is that many refuse to cook, clean or do laundry.

Add:  Thumbs down????!!!!!!  What being a house husband just means looking after kids?  Not the rest of it?   That's why women have a hard time supporting men!  When a woman stays home it's the whole deal.

Add:  thx....if you're going to do something....anything...do it right.

Answer 15

Well that's because "career women" who have kids are thoughtless heartless shrews. They want to be financially independent, convinced themselves that their kids won't turn out criminals if they throw them into daycare all day, and will be damned if their gonna let some man suck the life out of her by supporting his a$$.

Feminist love to yell double standard, I agree there is one and its AGAINST men. I wish feminists would get a clue and shut up!!

Answer 16

There are many confusing messages that are designed to keep "women in the home"...anything from religious leaders bombarding women with the idea that their place is with their children and the man's place is at the head of the family to Walmart ads (almost always directed at women) about a "families ability to save more" at their store.

There are also physical and societal issues that have to be dealt with when discussing SAHDs...the fact of the matter is that women still have to be the ones who are pregnant and give birth to their children.  This causes most companies to place them on the "mommy track" because even if they are assured the woman will return to her job they still have to deal with missed days of work from the pregnancy.  This makes it exceedingly difficult for women to get raises and promotions.  This means that whatever the woman makes it has to be significantly more than her male counterpart in order for him to stay home.  While you do find women who make more than their husbands the difference in income is rarely enough to make it feasible for the woman to be placed on the "mommy track" at work and still be able to support an entire family on her income.

There are other, outside, emotional issues to consider as well.  Such as older relatives who disdain that way of life because it is so very different than what they are used too.  It is going to take some time to undo all the conditioning that both men and women have been up against their entire lives.  This conditioning doesn't make a woman emotionally incapable of supporting a SAHD but it does make it much more difficult.