Why do mothers who work claim that daycare is *beneficial* for their children?

Question

The evidence clearly suggests otherwise:

http://www.unh.edu/sociology/media/pdfs-journal/06Lalli_DayCare.pdf

http://www.reason.com/news/show/31912.html

I understand that *some* women need to work. But I'm curious as to why women who choose to work still insist on daycare being good for their children even while the evidence of the damage it does is right under their noses?

Answer 1

just as you have shown studies there are just as many studies to show it is beneficial. Kids need interaction with other kids and many kids at home with the mum do not get it. I think it is a personal choice and working mums feel enough guilt without you making them feel worse.  

Answer 2

That's where I learned how to burn things!

Answer 3

Probably b/c they have no choice in the matter - they trick themselves into thinking "it's right for their children" when really, it just hurts them...

Answer 4

Because they are too lazy to stay home and raise their own kids. Or, it stresses them out to stay home with kids all day....at least it stresses out my sister =)

Answer 5

Evidence?   One is a research paper and the other is an article.  Both are only opinions.  There is no evidence here.  Both my kids attended day care and there is no damage whatsoever.  Actually, my 14 year old, who attended daycare for 3 years before going to preschool..is a straight A student and very secure.  My youngest is also a very good student and a happy and bubbly child.   Where is the damage?   Rant elsewhere.

Answer 6

They tend to say it helps their children socialize at a younger age, giving them more practice adapting and interacting with others.

I don't agree with this since biologically, it only makes sense that young children are more secure and confident when they grow up with a mother taking care of them.

Answer 7

How are those websites evidence of anything?

They are websites, not scientific studies.

Who are you to tell a mother they are wrong for working and supporting their children?

Opinions aren't facts and women have the right to choose to stay home or to work, they shouldn't be ridiculed by naive people for doing what they believe is best.

We fought for this choice and now you want to take it away?

Keep your opinion on how someone else lives to yourself, you have no right dictating what is right for someone else's kid and what is deemed harmful by your opinion.

Answer 8

First of all, Day care is not all that bad for a child. I do not agree in sending a child who is younger than a year to a day care but children who are 2 years or older love to play with others and learning social skills is another thing because most do not get that kind of interaction at home. Second of all, some mothers have no choice and have to work ya know. Its called being a single mother and to tell you the truth: I would be patting these working moms on the back for sending their kids to day care because it goes to show that they are working and not on welfare....alot of mothers out there can't make it on their own so when a mother works thats great news. This is how we make it in life and raise our families.

I think you are so ignorant to stand there and act like this study holds steady over any other study. The situation is not that black and white. There are many benefits of day care and its not like h**l on earth; they are children for god sakes...surrounded by other children and toys---like come on here.

Just for the record I have stayed home with mine and plan too until both are in school. Jasper starts this year and Mya just turned 3 so I will enjoy the first 5 year s with them (cause they are the most vital)  and then get a job because I want to be the one that teaches them right now but for those moms who choose to work or HAVE to work...I say rock on. These studies do nothing but stir controversy.  

Answer 9

Echo an earlier post, neither of the links provide any evidence that daycare categorically damages children, you must be having a laugh!  

I don't think you do understand that "some" women need to work, if you did you would not be needling these aforementioned women with stupid questions like this.  Perhaps these women go by the evidence of their own happy well adjusted kid who comes marching out of day care proudly displaying the days painting or collage, the kid who has learnt to share the toys in the centre with his fellow inmates unlike the kid who only plays with his own toys at home and therefore reacts badly to any attempt to share when visiting another kid, this sort of evidence really stacks up against university students papers on the subject!  Not all day care centres will be beneficial, plenty of bad apples I'm sure, but likewise not all home care situations are beneficial either ... think there's many a kid who would be much better off in a good day care than at home with an abusive/irresponsible/uncaring/ parent(s).  Try to be a little less bigoted and quick to judge, your children will benefit greatly.

Answer 10

My mother refused to put me in daycare and it did a lot of harm to me I feel. I am 27 now and have zero social skills. I have also had very few friends in life. Sure, a lot of it has to do with personality. I remember my first day of kindergarten most of the other students in the class knew at least a few people in the class and they all knew school skills (opening a milk carton, walking in line, taking naps on a mat, ect) and edquite where as I know none of this and was constantly in trouble because of it, both with the other students and the teacher.

I did not understand what was going on around me...I had no freaking clue. It was a nightmare to be honest with you. I feel like not going to day care put me behind the class and it took me years to catch up. I was the only child in the class who did not know how to tie my shoes. My mom tired to work with me beforehand but of course it couldn't make up for the interaction I would have had if I had been in daycare, with the other students and watching them. I know she didn't send me to day care because of money and that was it. Kindergarton was a rude awkening for me because my mother sheltered me way too much.

I think most kids are in daycare because the mom either:

1. has to work

2. wants her "me" time.

I guess there is nothing wrong with a woman having her "me" time. I have never had children of my own but I know I would hate to leave that child with a stranger. I guess I would have to do a lot of research before doing such.

Answer 11

Well they are justifying their position I suppose.  They have to work so to  counteract the guilt of not being with their children , they try and see the positive things about it.   It is a good thing for children to have other children to play with and  if the day care is any good hopefully they will learn something while they are there.  It is not an ideal situation .  I am sure many women would prefer to stay at home but it isn't possible for financial reasons.

Answer 12

Carefully selected "evidence", I see.

My kids adored their nursery. They loved the staff and the other kids, they had opportunities I could never have given them at home (expensive toys, fun visitors, singing groups every day, fabulous outdoor toys, early experience with other languages) and they went to school completely confident about dealing with other adults and children.

My kids are not damaged. If I didn't have or want to work and I had the money and the chance to do it again, I'd _still_ send them to that nursery part-time, just like I did in order to work.  

Answer 13

Because it is, when it's not abused.  A child left in a daycare, especially one that is loving, educational, and nurturing, for a few hours a day or a few times a week can increase his socialization, independence, trust, and cognitive skills.  Obviously, if a child is left for eight hours a day or in an environment that is not stimulating or nurturing, then he will suffer negative effects.  He could become more clingy and less trusting, and develop behavior problems.

Answer 14

Ms. Old Fashioned, did you actually read the academic article you supplied as evidence?? It quite clearly indicates that high quality daycare has POSITIVE effects.

A SAHM should be respected for that choice. But a woman who sacrifices to support her family by working is also a hero.  

Answer 15

A half page article and a term paper?  I'm sorry, but your evidence isn't very compelling.  Maybe next time you should try citing a study that's actually been published in a scientific journal.  You know, one that's been done by professionals and reviewed for sound research techniques.

As for why people claim that daycare is beneficial...because it is, in some respects.  Daycare and homecare both have advantages, and both have drawbacks.  Kids can thrive in both situations.  

My wife worked opposite my shift (part time)until our daughter started school so she was only cared for by us.  It was a great experience for all of us, but looking back I think she would have benefited from part time daycare.  Partly for social reasons- she was unsure how to relate to kids her own age, had a hard time taking turns and not being the center of attention.  More importantly she spent the first 5 months of the school year sick because she hadn't been exposed to the huge array of germs that little kids are always passing around to each other.  

In all honesty, I feel a little guilty for not having put her in daycare even though we thought it would be good for her.  My only defense is that we wanted all of her "little years" to ourselves.

Answer 16

First of all there is a difference between daycare and preschool.  In daycare, kids can be left there up to 11-12 hours a day.  That is detrimental.

With preschool, the kids go there to interact with other kids their own age for 2-3 hours a few days a week.  For example my daughter will  be doing this this year (she is 3) twice a week two hours per session.  There are benefits to preschool...the socilal factor, getting kids used to taking direction from another adult, not to mention, kids are going to get sick.  With the more rigid standards set in Kindergarten, I would rather she get those childhood illnesses now and not miss the academic stuff later.

I understand that there are some parents who have to work and this is not an option.  There are single parents doing it all by themselves and I have nothing but the utmost respect for them.  But for the two parent working families so their kids can have the Wii and the parents drive around in that Lexus?  Your kids should be more important to you than that.  Their early years are a very short window of time in the grand scheme of things; once it is gone there is no reclaiming that and I can't tell you how many parents I hear from who HAD to work wishing it were otherwise.  Staying at home can be monotonous and borinig sometmes, but there have been moments I have been so grateful I have gotten to experience and I will never regret being here.  

Answer 17

If you cannot afford to stay home and raise your children, then do not have them!

Answer 18

Why? Because they're probably sick to death of having to justify the fact they are going out to work. There will always be 'evidence' saying one thing or another but only a parent knows truly what is best for their own child, not some professor stuck in a classroom/office/laboratory.

Answer 19

There's no real harm in sending your child to day care. It's true that they will be exposed to more bugs etc. but that just builds up their immunity and makes for stronger kids later on. If they don't get exposed at day care, they will eventually be exposed somewhere else. There are many social and educational benefits to day care. Like anything, there are many arguments for and against so don't take one persons opinion as gospel, it's best to research both opinions and come up with your own conclusions. Day care won't kill them.

Answer 20

i totally agree with you..i understand people need money especially no with interest rates and the price of living is so high..but if you cannot afford it then you shouldnt be having children...

my husband and i sold our house (which is a life changing thing) so i can stay home and bring up bubs while my hubby works; which is very traditional but it works. it actually works out even...if i worked full time, and put bubs in childcare id get the same amount in the end that im getting now anyways. i am all for a working society but i get angry when parents do this. one of my friend has to out her child in daycare so she can finish uni... they have uni courses you can do at home these days aso she is switching to that,,

there are so many options out there...

Answer 21

My daughter is 17 months old and has been at her daycare for a year.  I believe it is good for her.  She finger paints and colors, gets read to, plays outside and has other kids to interact with.  At home she is my only child and would not have that social interaction otherwise.  I grew up with a stay at home mom who I was extremely attached to and had zero contacts with children other than my brother and my 3 cousins until I went to kindergarten.  I was extremely shy and suffered social anxiety for years.  That's one of the reasons I want my daughter around other kids.

My husband and I have loans and a mortgage to pay for each month.  We have insurance, doctor bills, he has child support payments, etc etc.  With both of us working we are able to pay all our bills and still have a little bit left over for extras.  We don't work much overtime and we are home with our daughter as much as possible.

I recently heard of another study that said daycare is beneficial to babies and toddlers.  My daughter being in daycare hasn't hurt our bond whatsoever.  I know she is in a good place every day and is being well taken care of.  The same ladies take care of her every day.

She is closer to them than to her own grandmas.  She loves them and they love her.   She is excited when we go to daycare every morning.

Stop being so judgemental until you have been there yourself.  Do you even have children??

Answer 22

A lot of mothers don't have the luxury of staying at home. (Especially with the economy we are living in today.) They must work in order to put food on the table and to keep a roof over their child's head. If they had a choice, I'm sure most of them would rather stay at home with their children. Now you can push your opinion all you want, but it's not going to make mothers quit their jobs when it's a slim choice between having a home and having no home at all. We can only go as far as our options can take us. We're not living in the 1950s anymore.

Answer 23

children need social interaction with other children their age. if they are around older siblings instead, this can be intimidating to them and they wont learn at a proper speed. their is nothing wrong with a little social interaction and a day full of activities.

Answer 24

Because it is kinda necessary that they interact with other kids.

It's part of healthy development.

Social interactions lead to social maturity.

Simple.

Anyways. I don't know why you posted this. I mean, cool. You don't have to work, and get to stay home with the kids. That doesn't make you a better mom than some woman who has to help support her family.