Why do my adult stepchildren resent me?

Question

My adult stepchildren resent me and ever since the beginning when I met this man, he said his adult children ignored him. When we became serious, his adult children became possessive of his time, asking him out to dinner, and excluding me, etc. Now we are married and this is just a long story short. The adult children are between the ages of 25 and 30. I require respect at my age and I have 4 children between the ages of 13 and 24 and don't see them as much I want. What should I do in this situation?

Answer 1

Push yourself closer to you kid more so the 13yr old. Don't play their games and demand respect..

Good Luck

Answer 2

It may get better with time. They probably feel like you are taking away their dad from them. They will adjust with time.

Answer 3

I can relate to what you are going through. I decided to give my partner time with his daughter from now on and keep busy on my own when she comes to visit. She is 18 and I have been the outcast for 6+ years. If you do not get support from your husband as to how they treat you, it is going to have to be up to you to handle it. I would just stay friendly and civil to the children but leave it at that, keep busy when they come to visit, spend that time with yours doing things. In my case the daughter has a s****. attitude towards me and it has not come to a head yet, but only thanks to me being very tolerant to the behavior. If your husband is supportive he could talk to them but I doubt it will do a lot of good, as they are now adults and set in their ways.  

Answer 4

nothing.

Answer 5

Start spending more time with your own kids and stop worrying about his adult kids.

Next let them have a little alone time with their dad.He was their dad before he was your husband hon and if you will allow your husband to do this and maybe invite his kids over once in a while and act like nothing is wrong, they may start seeing you in a different light, rather than fighting for his attention.

Answer 6

they may just see you as the lady who repalced there mom and took their dad away

they probably had resentment issues against him for the original divorce with their mom which would be why they didnt care to much for his attention before you. but now that you are here its forcing them to realise he has moved on. i think you just need to spend time with them. ask them out to lunch or dinner with AND without their dad.

it sounds like you need to spend some more time with your own kids to before they build resesntments against you!

Answer 7

Your husband needs to step up.He is an adult. He needs to tell them what he expects from them

Answer 8

why don't you see your children as much as you'd like? especially the 13 year old....who has custody?