Why do my parents treat me like I'm a baby??

Question

Okay, I know that I've made some stupid decisions, but come on. And I know people are going to say "See it from your parents point of view.", but why should I when they don't see it from my point of view? They don't listen to me. They only do whatever the other tells them to, so if one says no, so does the other. I'm fourteen years old and I've been unhappy since I was a little kid. I count down the years until college because then I know I can make a difference in my life and start over. Do my own thing, you know. All I want is to wear a little make up, get a myspace, and finally feel happiness and attractive for once. Why is that such a big deal? My mom is always like "I think you're pretty.", which is so nice of her and I appreciate it, but I want someone to think I'm beautiful and like me for me and not because I'm their daughter and they have to. And of course having a boyfriend is out of the question because they don't want me to do anything that'll "ruin their lives." I just want them to take the control off of me. I'm in high school now. I've had a rough life because we move like every two years and I'm always starting over and for once, I want to feel like I belong somewhere. I can't go to sleepovers and I rarely have friends over. I feel like I'm stuck in a prison and it just sucks sometimes. I want to be happy and confident and feel good about myself, but I just don't because they won't let me experience anything. What do I do? Maybe hearing this from a kid or an adults perspective would make me feel better. Preferably a parent.

Answer 1

In most cases when you are a teenager you feel like you are in prison. I know I did. I think it is extreme that you can’t have a boyfriend. I don’t think it is because it will “ruin their lives” but more because you could ruin YOUR life. Or at least set you back from where you want to be. As far as them do what the other says to, they are a team and are suppose to support each others decisions. They can’t go against each other, just think of the tension then! It’s not their job to see it from your point of view, being a good parent isn’t always about making your child happy… it’s doing what you think is best for them. It can seem so unfair when your younger and totally suck. You are 14!! Try to compromise with them. If you want to wear make up then find a middle ground. I personal don’t think you need all that garbage at your age. You will have years of putting it on. But if you think it will make you “happy” or “pretty” then maybe they will agree to mascara, blush and lip gloss. As far as myspace, why do you need it? Your parents are probably trying to protect you. You can give out information without knowing you are. It’s unsafe for a child (which you are). Most of the behavior on that site is not appropriate for your age. You can’t have it that bad if you are on this site. If you think that these things are going to make you happy and make you attractive you are sadly wrong. You want someone to think you are beautiful and like you for you, well if someone likes you for you they will find you beautiful  the way you are!! If they were to “take the control off”,  later down the road you would blame them for ruining your life. For not caring enough about you to control you. It’s not easy moving (I know we are military). Express to you parents you need a stronger foundation and better outlets. If you want to be treated as an adult then  you need to act like one. Instead of getting so upset, talk and discuss things with your parents. Don’t yell or throw tantrums, don’t walk away either. Sit down with them and stay calm, talk about how you feel and try to find ways both of you can be happy. Showing them you can act like an adult and understand things aren’t always going to go your way, will tell them you are ready to make more of your own decisions and can be trusted. Acting out only reminds them you are not responsible enough to make right choices. Good luck!

Answer 2

Because you act like a baby

You wanna be treated like an adult then act like one =P

simpleeee

Answer 3

It's obvious why your parents treat you like a baby.  You act like it, your tirade here proves it.  Your parents don't have to listen to you and they don't have to see things your way.  Until you are 18 and out on your own they are responsible for you.  So suck up and deal with it and stop acting like a baby...maybe then you'll not be treated like one.

Answer 4

Talk to them. Tell them how you feel and that you wish to have some space. That what I did and now I'mm allowed to go and sleep at my girlfriends house every weekend. They treat you like a baby because to them you are and always will be no matter what happens and they are only trying to put your needs first, yes they sometimes they will get them wrong. Tell them that you are responsable and that you know how to take care of yourself when it comes to boyfriends etc. Be open minded when talking to your parents and take in the advice they give. Let them know that you understand that they are looking out for you, but it's time to you grow up.

Hope this helps

Yoko

Answer 5

Fact of life is that you are still their baby and will be until the day they get planted.  I realize how bloody difficult it can be put trust me they are only looking out for your best interest.  Do not forget that they were once your age also and so are more than aware of what being 14 entitles.  But of you truly feel that you deserve more freedom and/or responsibilities then you should approach your folks and have a good heart to heart conversation.  You must do so in a mature and open minded manner and not break down into tears if things don't go your way.  Inform your folks of the prison you feel you are being forced to live in at present and that you truly believe that you are mature and wise enough at present to make some decisions that they may not approve of but that will not cause any damage to you either physically or mentally.  I would suggest that you not run out and get tattooed immediately or the freedom you may gain will be soon lost.   You need to also inform your folks about how all the moves you have experienced have affected your ability to create any long term and lifelong relationships and that this hurts.   I understand how difficult it is being your age and wanting more freedom etc., but there will come a time when you also may have a 14 year old baby daughter and you too will understand what it is your folks are experiencing at present.   Best of luck.

Answer 6

Hon I know you won't want to hear this but it sounds like to me you have some pretty level headed parents. I know it is hard for you when a lot of the teens around you are doing things you aren't. Your parents are looking out for your best interest. However, they need to start letting you do some things. Light make up would be a starter. You have to earn their trust. There is nothing wrong with a boyfriend at a distance. You are to young to be dating right now. Always be truthful to your parents. As for "myspace" I have checked into that. It can be good but then it can be really bad. It is surprising to me at the parents who don't give two hoots as to what their kids do on the computer. I am talking about teachers kids, preachers kids and etc. You can really get your self into a mess if you aren't careful on there. It is tough being a kid growing up in these times with all the peer pressure that is out there. Parents make mistakes and so do kids. Everyone has to learn from them and not make them again. They want to protect you but sometimes a young person needs to find out for themself. We as parents didn't want to listen when we were younger. I came from a very strict homelife. I lived thru it. And I am sure glad they were. We have two children and thank God they turned out good. I always said we raise our kids to the best of our ability and when they are grown if they s***w up it isn't my fault. Be thankfull for your parents. I am sure you are but right now you feel like you can't do anything.Always be open and honest with your parents and ask them to do the same with you. Just give it some time and good luck to you.