Why do my peers do this?

Question

They'll make plans to go somewhere weeks in advance. Then on the day they have to leave, one of them calls me all of a sudden and just says "We're leaving for ____ right now. Ask someone to drop you there". Why can't they tell me atleast a day before? I can't just get up and leave home suddenly.

And how do I politely tell them to atleast let me know beforehand?

Answer 1

They're spontaneous, keep a bag packed.

Answer 2

Jest tell them you would like to know in advance when they are going so that you can be ready for them and that you can't always jest drop everything you are doing to take them to the place that they want to go to.

Answer 3

I agree with the first answer but the fact is that your peers are inconsiderate to do this on a regular basis. Once in awhile a last-minute invitation is OK, but as a regular practice, you are being disrespected. Others were in on the planning; why not you?

Answer 4

I think it's rude if plans are made and it sounds as if you are expecting to be picked up and they are asking you to make arrangements.  My question would be - do you have transportation?  If you don't, and they know this, they should make accommodations or at least allow you to make other accommodations to be picked up.  If these are your friends, there should not be a problem with you telling them your thoughts about the situation.  Just be polite but firm.  

Answer 5

Well, maybe in school the next day (or if it's a friday that something is going on, on that monday...)

you could be like (talking to one, or all of the girls)

"I had so much fun at the movies (or whatever) with you guys on Friday! That was so funny when (say something that happened, just to break the ice, you know? ie. That was so funny when we bumped into our Science teacher! or something)! Next time you have plans though, do you maybe think that you guys could tell me like a day in advance? My Mom (assuming that you don't drive) hates when I ask her to take me somewhere last minute!"

This way it sounds like it's an issue because of your Mom (which isn't really like laying the blame on someone else, it just makes it less awkward, I guess.)

I'm sure that whatever way you word it, they won't mind.

But this way it's like it's just coming up in conversation.

You could also do one of those "Oh man, when I got home on Friday, my Mom was all annoyed because she had to drive me somewhere last minute. She told me to make plans ahead next time- so, if it's possible, do you guys think that next time you make plans, you tell me a little earlier? Sorry, my Mom is just being CRAZY."

Again, it sort of lays the blame on your Mom, but just makes the whole situation a lot easier.