Why do other women see me as weird when I say I don't want babies?

Question

I actually had the broody fever when I was in my late teens and went all awwww at the sight of one. But few years later all I see is migrane attack cause and a thing that takes over your life. I can't for the love of God see the supposed joy that they bring which makes the bad things not to matter.Maybe I need new battery for the biological clock :). While my friends are busy panicing that their time is running out and they must get pregnant soon or already are having babies, I am thinking they are all gone mad! Never mind not being able to pay the mortgage, the baby stays on the 'to do' list. If I point my reasons due to finances I am seen as tight, if reasons are due to freedom I am seen as selfish, if the reason is that I simply hate motherhood I am seen as freak! Why?

Answer 1

you are not weird

i was exactly the same as you, can't afford a kid, i liked my life as it was, although i'd been married twice (and divorced twice) i'd not met a man "good enough" to be the father of my child, so i resigned myself to not ever having one, and i was happy with that (though i would have liked one if the circumstances were right)

however, i met a guy who would have been the perfect father, but it's now too late.

so even though i thought like you in my 20's and 30's i now feel that i've missed out on something and it makes me very sad, i'm now in my 40's. so chick, the moral of my story is, it's fine to feel the way you do right now, but if you change your mind, don't leave it till its too late and end up regreting it.

good luck to you and have a great life x

Answer 2

Because the majority of women do want children i suppose its seen as 'normal' to have children. I wouldnt worry about it, its your choice.

Answer 3

Having kids is a personal choice. it doesn't make you a freak for not wanting them. My sister doesn't want kids, she's just happy being an auntie. Which, btw, she says is great, as she gets to hand them back lol.

You live your life how you want, as long as your happy, it doesn't matter what others think

Answer 4

Most women see you as odd when you say you don't want children because they believe it to be set in a females' DNA to want children. Other women may see it as odd because they go with the old-fashion belief that women are made to produce children, and you therefor, are going against God. (personally I say to each there own, and don't find you odd or weird for not wanting children.)

Answer 5

If you don't want babies then don't have them. Its up to you, it's your life.  

Answer 6

I don't find your attitude weird at all.  Peoples views about having kids have changed over the years and all decisions now adays seem quite acceptable.

Answer 7

It's your choice and we're all different

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want children. I have two friends one male and one female who know they don't want children.  I really should try to set them up together.

We're all different.  If people give you a hard time ask if they are certain they want children and if they say say yes tell them that's how you feel about not wanting having them.  Hopefully that will stop them asking questions.

Answer 8

i kinda understand

i mean its a scary thing

im kinda scared of it, the pain of labor, possible complications of the baby, money, raising them right, screaming, crying, food, etc

i mean its caring for a human! tis a big responsibility

i dont think youre crazy

i think its normal at some people's lives

i think naturally if/when you have a baby it will totally change your life and bring you much joy, ive heard it many times!

:)

Answer 9

Its like everything else.  any deviation from the norm makes you suspect.  People say they respect individuality but they really expect us to follow the herd. It may scare them to think that you will have a life that they will envy.

Answer 10

your not weird...lots of women dont want babies...you go girl!!!!!!!!!

Answer 11

it's ok,i don't want babies too and it's ok!!!!

p.s;babes give me the creeps

Answer 12

if u want them hav them if you dont want them dont hav them simple

Answer 13

As with allot of things in life people expect everybody else to follow everybody else and do what they do.Im like you,i dont want to get married or have kids just for the sake of following everybody else.Your not a freak your smart ,i know allot of people who have kids at a young age and then complain about how tought it is bringing up children,in responce i say well you should have thought about this before you had kids,then they look at me as if im stupid.I dont care what anybody else thinks,these people are stuck in the world of trying to impress other people just so they look normal you get to see people's true coulors when you dont follow them.Just because i dont want to be like everybody else doesnt mean im a freak,you will also find that people will say your a freak for not wanting kids because they are jelous of the fact that you dont have to spend so much money bringing them up and you are free to do what you want,they are jelous of your freedom so they try to make you change your ways.My friends often make fun of the fact that i dont have a girlfriend,i mean what buisiness is it of thiers that i dont have a girlfriend? Why are they so concerened ? The only thing i can think of is they are jelous of the fact i have total freedom to do what i want to do so they try to put me down,when the truth is i dont want to get a girlfriend just for the sake of having a girlfriend.I just havent found the right girl yet,its that simple,im not going to go out hunting for a girl like a wild dog just so i can impress people,i can do what i want to do and its nobody else's buisiness,not even my friends or family's buisiness.So you go girl you do what you want to do and stuff what anybody else thinks,its your life and if people dont like it tell them to go pick on sombody else the sad losers

Answer 14

its your choice who cares wat other people think.xx

Answer 15

I wish more women were like you.

Answer 16

some people just dont have the mother in them.. its always best not to have kids if you DONT really want them, in my view theres nothing worse than someone having children to please someone else, then her and the child become miserable because shes a lousy mum..

if you dont want children it doesnt make you weird, i guess people are a bit worried incase you regret it someday, and if people think your weird its probably because they have kids and its made them very happy and dont understand why you wouldnt want to experience it..

Answer 17

I think many people just don't understand.  But good on you, its better than you make your decision and stick to your guns than feel pressured into having a child you don't want just because thats what society expects of you.

I used to say I didn't want children too but that was because I had fertility problems and my ex husband didn't want kids so wouldn't go for tests.  I convinced myself I didn't want kids to deaden the pain.  When my ex and I split up and I met a new man I started trying and afer my son was born I realised just how amazing it is to be a mother.  I gave up a lot - freedom, social life etc, but I'm just so happy to have my little boy, it more than makes up for any "losses".  

I might also add that I was 34 when my son was born, and your attitude to having kids does change over time.  Many people don't want children in their 20s but feel ready when they are in their mid 30s.

Answer 18

It's your life, not theirs. Go and live it!

Answer 19

i don't think you are freaky.

i am going through infertiliy issues, so my desire is for a baby. which is what you do not want.  we all have different desires and personalities.

i think that this is you. why would i think someone is a freak because they don't want children.