Why do parents disown children for having a mind of their own?

Question

okay, so i was watching this docu on tv...a family of 13...and well the parents started talking of how because of the eldest daughters bad decisions she was asked to leave...then she got pregnant...and the family disowned her. they claimed they couldnt have her around cause she wasnt living the way they told her too (they said "taught and "should" together). they used the other children as an excuse, but in the end they are raising them the same way...so whats stopping them from eventually getting a mind of their own and realize there is a world beyond what mom and dad say?

but how can one say they love their child but then disown them when they start living by their own rules (she was already 18 when they disowned her). it seems as though, if they arent perfect in their world, then they arent worthy of being apart of the family (they are also religious if that helps...seeing that i have heard of more religious people do that than non religious people).

is just conditional love?

Answer 1

No, it's not love at all.  It's a perspective that I've seen time and time again (and it's NOT just religious parents).  Parents who see children as extensions of themselves (rather than as individuals in their own right) set themselves up for this kind of situation.

Think, for example, of the parents who push their kids into sports when perhaps the kid would rather be playing in the science lab or reading a book.  Your example is just what the end result could be.  

Further, I'm not sure it's so much a matter of the kids being "perfect" as living up to the parent's expectations.  Sometimes kids can do that comfortably.  Sometimes they can't.  Either way, it's a hard situation for both parents (who really only hurt themselves by disinheriting the kid) and the kids, so we should be as compassionate as possible for all sides.

Answer 2

Because so many people want to live their lives through their kids. They want their kids to follow a career path they choose, regardless if the child is interested in that or not.

Answer 3

Honestly a good parent cant. You love your children no matter what. If they make bad choices you can make them handle the lesson and difficulties on their own but you still love them unconditionally. We cant choose what anybody will do with their life. All we can do is teach the values and lessons we think they need to make it as adults. Religion and spirituality teach unconditional love and to not judge others. If you are disowning your children because of what a church says your learning the wrong messages. I honestly dont care what anybody says or what "crime" a child has commited a parents love is unconditional. Or atleast it should be.

Answer 4

because they are small minded idiots and want to manipulate their kids

a******s