Why do parents feel the need to hold their kids back from school an extra year?

Question

My youngest starts kindergarten this fall, she turns 5 this month. I know kids that turn 5 in late August that are still attending school this fall. Well, one girl my daughter knows is socially and academically ready to start~~her mom is choosing to hold her back a year though. I talked with a mutual friend of ours and she did it with her oldest who is in 1st grade with my daughter!! All I can think is it's a quest for perfection. Other-wise, why do parents hold back kids that ARE ready? Why can the parents decide that? I can understand if the child is not learning progressively to hold them back or if they have social issues, but I can not think of any other reason.

Please and thank you for your input!

Answer 1

i have a child that started school as an older kid and another that started as a younger kid...we said it was our "test" because we didn't know which way to go so we let age dictate...both children were academically ready...all throughout grade school there was no difference...once middle school\high school approached...we saw that both kids were academically excelling...socially was a different story...if i had to do over, i would have held back my younger child simply for that reason.

Answer 2

You can't be the judge of someone else's child's readiness for school. I agree with you though, that it is not always a good thing to hold kids back. My parents did that (twice) and now I'm 22 and still working on my undergraduate degree. Kids were immature enough at school without them all being a year younger than me...

Answer 3

There are many factors that go into the decision to start a child in school later.

First, the academic issue.  Kids today are pushed to learn more at an earlier age, and this creates an enormous amount of stress.  By waiting that extra year, kids have an opportunity to be kids for a little longer, and to have a leg up on the ability to handle the stress of school.

Social maturity - some kids are not socially ready for school, even if they have that reached that magic age of five.  Waiting that extra year can help the child feel more comfortable.

High school - parents usually focus on kindergarten or first grade...but the wise thing to do is to look down the road.  A child who starts school at a young age will also be very young as a high school/college freshman.  

Finally - from my observations, it is the parents pushing kids into school before they are ready who are the perfectionists.

Answer 4

BC THEY CANT LET GO! THATS MY OPINION. GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS IF PREGGER!

Answer 5

I think it just depends upon if the child is mentally ready, and also emotionally.  i think its good we have this choice,,,,,,way back in the old days, lol, when i went to school had to go at certain age and that was final.

Answer 6

My daughter turned 5 after she started kindergarten. I find it funny that they say you have until Dec to turn 5 and you can be in kindergarten, but then when they evaulated her, they suggested she go back to preschool. YEA RIGHT! My daughter is one of the smartest in the class! and there are older kids in her class where parents kept them back a year, and guess what...these older kids have a more immature mind because they are hanging out with kids younger than them. My daughter hangs out with older kids and she is very mature. I know someone who held her daughter back because she wanted her daughter to be super smart when she started, but totally regretted it once she saw how smart my daughter became.

Answer 7

I don't see how you would know if they're ready or not. They maybe socially ready, but may have  a learning disability that is holding them back that the parents may choose not to talk about.

Answer 8

Why is it your business why parents choose to have thier children held back?  They are the child's parents so I am sure they know their child a h**l of a lot better than you would.  I suggest you focus on raising YOUR children rather than being so nosey about someone else's child rearing choices.

Answer 9

to mature them a little more.  maybe maturity wise they are not quite ready to jump into school.

Answer 10

totally makes no sense you are 100% right. I can think of no reasons tokeep a child home an extra year especially if they will be missing out on starting with friends.Now it this was about starting school earlyor skipping grades I could talk on the bad affects of that but starting school on time...a good thing indeed. My daughter (my 8 year old) adds that when shes older kids might tease her thinking she failed a grade.

In my opinion holding a child back to have them be "super smart" is so wrong. Not like morally wrong but just wrong. being smart has nothing to do with what you know its your ability to learn.

Answer 11

It's not really up to you if other people's children are "ready" or not, it's up to them.  Not sure why it concerns you so much.  It's not as if someone has asked you to hold your own children back.

Answer 12

A kid with a birthday in August or September is really equally well paired with either age group.  They are doomed to be either the oldest or the youngest in their grade, and some parents make the determination that it would be easier on them to be the former rather than the latter.  

My daughter who is turning 5 this year has an August birthday less than 2 weeks before the cutoff for kindergarten.  She's also under the 5th percentile for height for her age.  Honestly, she looks like a 3-year-old.  That in itself makes socializing with kids who have been five since last September challenging.  She also is really at a different developmental point socially than the kids who turned 5 last September.  She's not behind for her age ... she's just behind compared to kids who are almost a full year older than her, which is hardly surprising.

I am not going to hold her back ... her academics are strong and she's gaining ground fast on the social front.  My older kids had issues with being insufficiently challenged at school and I think delaying my daughter an extra year would result in the same problem.  But I won't say I'm not a little bit worried about how she'll manage socially, and I can understand why a parent might make the opposite decision.  If there's just a week or two separating whether you're a kindergartener or have another year of preschool I think it's reasonable for the parents, who presumably know their child best, to decide which of those options would serve their child better.

Answer 13

The girl is probably ready it is the parents that aren't ready to let their kids grow up.

Answer 14

Most likely it has to do with maturity, social skills or lack of confidence in academics. The parents know their kid best and I'm sure they have good reason. I tossed the idea back and forth for my child several years ago. It's not uncommon and a family decision that shouldn't be judged by others.

Answer 15

I agree with you. I do not comprehend why a parent would hold a child back who is ready to learn and progresses and a normal rate.  Maybe they just want to be extra sure their child is on track where they are supposed to be.  But I agree with you, I dont see a point.

Answer 16

I think it is stupid. Kindergarten is basically so that they learn to interact with other children. I was a summer baby and graduated high school at 17. That gives you a free year in my opinion. Get in college and get out with a bachelors by the time your 22. That extra year at home is just a year wasted year that that child will barely remember.