Why do parents let their kids act like this?

Question

Today I was at the store with my mom, and I saw a lady who looked in her mid 30's with her two kids, 1 girl, 1 boy. The 2 kids were running around the store, pulling things off the shelves and saying things like, "Look mom, look! It's only 4 dollars! Mom, lets get it! Pleeaase!" The mother just stood their looking at something, and without looking up, she would quietly say"No, no." She didn't seem to care that her kids were running wild. Why do parents nowadays let their kids act like this? What would you do if these were your kids in a situation like this?

Answer 1

It is really hard to shop in the store with kids, so she is probably just overwhelmed. Don't be so quick to judge unless you are fully aware of the situation.

Answer 2

thats it i have seen worse kids

Answer 3

Its called picking your battles and ignoring the bad behavior.  When children act up you have to choose the way to handle it as parents.  If they are acting out to get attention then if you give them attention you just encourage the behaviour.  Sometimes though it is just a matter of a parent being so stressed out that they just are at a loss on what to do next and are trying to take a deep breath before doing something they will regret (such as hitting the child).  In some cases you should just pull them out to the car and make them sit or take them to the bathroom to calm down but that isn't always an option.  With my boys when my oldest son acts out like that it is because he is not "entertained" and he gets fidgety so I have to find some way to get his attention off of being distructive which isn't always easy.Sometimes I have to hold his hands and make him walk with me, other times we will just go to the bathroom or walk out of the store for a "timeout".  Really as parents we just have to take a deep breath and think about what the right form of discipline is, and chances are those kids did get in trouble when they left the store but with so many people calling CPS on other people some parents just choose not to discipline in public.  

Answer 4

There's this big theory out there that kids like attention... I don't know exactly where they got it from but it seems to be right.  She's hoping that by ignoring her kids they will stop.  Sometimes it works but I'd much rather have that than a parent screaming back at the kids.

Answer 5

I have noticed that parents now a days do not have time to bother with their children they are just in the way,, I know of parents who party with their kids, let them have s*x in their house and pay them off to stay out of their hair

Answer 6

You didn't specify about the kids' ages or if they were being destructive.  There's a difference between pulling things off the shelves to look at and ask about and put back, it's another to just knock things off the shelve just to be destructive.  As far as the kids asking their mom for things, that's just being a kid.  There isn't a kid out there that I know of that DOESN'T ask for something.

When I didn't have children, I was one of those people that said, "I will never let my kids act like that."  Well, you know what?  I didn't know everything then and I still don't.  When you have kids, you'll understand that things like this aren't always cut and dried.  

Add - Okay.  That does specify things.  Not every parent acts like they don't care what their kids are doing.  Very few parents would tolerate that sort of behavior from their child or children.  You just happened to see a part of the small percentage of the people that don't appear to care what their kids do.  In any case, those who do act like that, do so for a number of reasons.  Overwhelmed, unstable, just to name a couple.  Yes, it is unacceptable but there's really not much anyone can do about it.

Answer 7

i do not let my kids do that, there is NO exception to the rule when we are in public. my kids WILL and DO respect. if they dont they are quietly but very firmly taken out of the store, put hands on cart ect.... if you teach your children respect from the start they are more than likely to grow up not acting like that. yes i know kids are kids, but they are still able to respect in a store.  

Answer 8

really I have seem worse and that's just from me and my kids when we shop!!!!! seriously. It's hard even with the best kid to go shopping. SO without judging I would try and just mind my own business and not pass judgment because this mother is obviously overwhelmed and needs a break

Answer 9

Because these days kids run the parents! Some parents are to afraid to upset there child by making them mind!

And my kids would not act like that, they know better.

They know what happens when they get out of line, and nice crack on there little behinds.

Answer 10

I don't know why but it annoys the heck out of me. It's weird because I used to have so much patience for this kind of stuff but the older I get the less I can tolerate it. I have 4 boys and they wouldn't dream of doing that. We have discusions before we enter the store about the behavior I expect, what they will or will not get and what will happen if they ask, etc...

Today I went to get my hair done and I couldn't get a sitter for my youngest who is 8 and so I brought him with me (because I can bring my kids anywhere) and I got several compliments on his behavior. They couldn't believe he sat so quietly just playing with his two little matchbox cars waiting. The girl who does my hair said to me "I have to be honest, when you came in I thought "oh by" because so many people bring their kids and they run wild in the place but you can bring him anytime, he is so good". I knew he would be because my kids know what I expect and they know there will be consequences if they don't behave.  

Answer 11

because they don't discipline their kids. my daughter wouldn't act that way she wouldn't even dream of it.  

Answer 12

That is so irritating to me. Obviously it's annoying to all shoppers . But what is more irritating to me is the behavior of the parent. I am a mom of 4 my youngest just turned 12. I also have 2 grandsons.So I do have plenty of experience also  as a leader of brownies and  girl scouts. Anyway you begin teaching your child right from wrong from babyhood on.The parent must set guidelines and follow up on them. Ive seen so many mothers scream at their kids and even slapping them.The parents have a responsibility to teach their kids  how to behave at home as well as when they are out.  It take dedication and time working with your kids teaching them about respect  and mannersThe kids need and crave guidelines. when you child is complimented about his/her behavior or patience whatever they feel proud.Pride makes them feel happy and good about themselves. Ignorant parent who ignore or threaten their kids without follow through are the cause of their kids behavior. If your kid acts like a jerk garb their hand and take them out to the car and go home. AT age 9 they really know better.Maybe this is the only way to get their parents attention.YOU NEVER NEED TO RAISE YOUR VOICE OR HIT. Stick to what you say.Follow through and a lesson will be learned. If you can't control your kids leave them home with your husband or a baby sitter.