Why do people STILL look at me like a monster even though Ive explained it 1000 times?

Question

I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant. When I was about 27 weeks pregnant, I found out that I was high-risk. I had caught a virus within my first trimester called cytomegalovirus, or CMV. It had caused me to end up in the hospital for 2 weeks because I hemmoraged (sp?) for 12 hrs due to placenta previa. Its really hard to explain the virus to people because nobody's ever heard of it, but this virus is SO common. My daughter has Cerebral Palsy, epilepsy, shes hearing impaired and visually impaired to her right eye. People look at me like a monster because as Ive said, its hard to explain to people , so they automaticlly ASSUME that Im a drug addict. because I was so young when I had her. I have enough of a problem trying to tell myself that its not my fault, and I try not to let it get to me cuz I know the truth but it hurts when my own brother is the one that started it.

Answer 1

its because people are dumb.  i actually HAVE heard of that particular virus before because i used to volunteer at a place that offered parenting classes and things of that nature so ive pretty much at least heard of it all.  

  like, i dont have kids, but i do have a kind of funny accent when i talk (for real, idk where it came from, i was born and raised in america but ive been asked if im from so many countries...it makes having any type of normal convo difficult) so im used to weird looks and things of that nature so i know how you feel...

idk, the best way to really look at it is that its YOUR daughter, YOU know the truth, and YOU are the one rasing her, so to h**l with what other people think.  theres no reason you should have to feel like some kind of freak just because other people arent rude enough to hear the truth first.  if anyone questions it, say "it doesnt matter what she has, she is my daughter and i love her"...showing them you dont care will shut them up so fast.

Answer 2

Cerebral Palsy is almost always caused while a baby is having seizures during birth.  If people don't understand this, then they are ignorant.  Just ignore those people, you should n't have to explain anything.

Answer 3

dont worry about what anyone one says. stick to doing what you do best- being a good mother.

Answer 4

so whats the ? it sounds like you are venting which is understandable with all the stress you are under. why would your brother say you were on drugs if you were not? does he have reason to belive you were?

Answer 5

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You have a beautiful daughter and you know what happened and that's all that matters. Stop worrying and continue to love your sweet baby!

Answer 6

I have never heard of that virus before but I will tell you this....you sound like a saint. You are NOT a monster and all you can do is kick your brother in the nuts and raise your baby like you have been. If it is troubling you that much then look for some support groups in your area.

Answer 7

You don't owe anyone an explanation. Nobody needs to know your situation especially strangers and those who know you and love you should not judge you. Actually, no one should judge anyone. That being said, you have enough on your plate trying to care for a special needs child to worry about what others might think of you. People can be so ignorant sometimes. I wish I knew of a snappy come back for you, but really it's none of their business. Best wishes to you and your child.

Answer 8

I think, no matter what, in life we're all going to encounter highly insensitive people. Chances are that those who ook at you as if you were a monster are only entertaining themselves with the idea that you are indeed that. Mean people are the most insecure individuals on the face of this planet, which only fuels their active imaginations about others. In other words, because they're so bad, they want other people to be worse. It makes them feel so much better to be of the understanding that they are not as bad as they thought they were.

I know it's hard to ignore them. Just realize that when they look at you that way, they are not good people. Decent people would be more understanding of what you're going through. Always remember that.

Answer 9

People are ignorant and rude and no matter how many times you try to explain it to people they will never understand. People are all about looks and if someone looks weird, not normal or freaky to them they tend to stay away because its not "normal". I work with children that are handicapped and are disabled and some of those children have the best personalities and are so sweet. Looks aren't everything.

I have epilepsy and I have tried to tell many people about it and what to do if something were to happen. Some people freak out and run, others actually care and then there are the ones that don't give a c**p. Don't care about people that wont give you the time of day because they are just scared and aren't worth knowing anyways. The only people that are worth any of your time are the ones that will be there for you through thick and thin and like you for your personality and wont be afraid of you/your daughter because of her looks.

Answer 10

You are very strong.  i am sorry what happened to your daugther, but she is in a happy loving home and that is all the really matters.  but when people are glaring at you, speak up.  Say "do you have something to say?"  And chances are they'll look away or actually say "yeah what happened?" or something and just explain.  If they make rude comments just ask them "so is ignorance truly bliss??"

Answer 11

sorry to hear that...

actually CMV is commonly known as kissing sickness or mono... it causes mononucleosis infecciosa.

This is a very contageous virus from the herpes family.

It is widely known to cause birth deffects such as the ones your describing.... and coincidentally... I am a researcher doing clinical research on a DNA vaccine for CMV.  Our next trial will be on congenital CMV.

Vical.com

good luck!

Answer 12

your not a monster at all

your a mini hero

it takes a lot to look after a baby with extra needs

good on you for sticking around and doing it

your bro's just mad/upset that you have what he probably considers a burden so young.

ignore people's opinions and you will be happier.

you dont need to justify your self to anyone!

x

Answer 13

Just ignore people's rude comments. Someone always has something negative to say about others, it's how they make themselves feel better about themselves. It's not about you.