Why do people act like 3 years is a big difference?

Question

I'm 13. I will be 14 in 3 weeks! =) I know this guy and i really like him, he will turn 17 shortly after i turn 14. Some people on here i have noticed that look down upon a 13/14 year old going out with a 16/17 year old... Even are parents aprove!! We are homeschoolers, we go to a homeschooling co-op, hes not going to college till he is 19,so i will be in his class for about 2 years,we're christians and we wouldnt have s*x or anything like that. I doubt we will even kiss! lol! Maybe.? I dont know. Some people think it takes a r****d of a 17 year old to go out with a 14 year old... and hes not one at all he is WAY cool! and totally smart. What are your views on this?

Answer 1

It is a HUGE difference, but if ya'll are home schooled it might be different, he wouldn't have a lot of that typical horney user boy attitude about him. But at the regular public high school... the girl is called jail bait.

Answer 2

Because when you are a teenager, it is a big difference.  You mature and grow a lot in your teen years, so it is more of a difference than it seems

Answer 3

It depends on those involved. Age is not always an accurate way to determine a person's maturity. Although if you do anything sexual with this guy, you could get him into serious trouble. Dating is fine, but wait until you're of legal age to do anything sexual with him.

Answer 4

at that age it kinda is a big difference. once u leave school its ok.

Answer 5

I think its stupid.

if a 14 yr old wants to go out with an 18 yr old let 'em there's nothing wrong about it.

Did someone disagree with what I said ok lets say a 20 year old and a 24 year old date is there something wrong with that?

I think if 2 mature teens want to date despite a 3-4 year gap there is abosolutely nothing wrong with it at all.

Answer 6

Right now it seems like a big deal because of the age thing, and even when he's 19 and you're 16 it might seem like even the same big of deal. But as you get older, it won't.

I had to keep a relationship away from my mom, when I was 16 and he was 24. but like someone said before me, Maturity is a big thing. Honestly, the guy didn't ask my age because he automatically thought I was older. He just thought when I got up in the morning, that I was going to work, the thought of me rushing to my first hour class, never crossed his mind. We lived together, but I was still a virgin. He respected me, but if I would have slept with him, I would have told him how old I really was before that would have ever happened. It wasn't later, until I told him (for the main reason is that we were together 6 months and he didn't know, so I finally told him) and I knew he was going to purpose to me. I couldn't imagine walking down the aisle to him without him knowing.

It's good that you have the support and approval of your parents. They seem opened minded, and you must be an exceptional daughter, since they trust you. It's just a reminder to them how well they have brought you up, to know that they can totally trust you, and him. Congrats on that! And as long as you have your families standing behind you, keep your head up. Don't let society judge you!!!

Answer 7

When you're a teenager, its a big difference. My parents are 35 years apart(No my mom isn't like 20). But nobody had a problem with it because they met when my mom was 24. yes I know its kind of creepy, but its actually pretty cool having a dad who was in world war II. Most people don't believe me when I tell people my dad's almost 80(Next month). Anyways, when you're an adult you make your own choices. But when you're a teenager you have limited choices. Its just because he's almost an adult, and you're still 13. Maybe because you're homeschooled. But most people in public schools would call it desperate or S****y. Some people say age doesn't matter, but when you're a teenager, it does.

EDIT: Its not a huge age difference though. Not like my parents at least(I'm telling the truth. I swear to bob). Its just the society we live in now. But it still is an age difference.

Answer 8

You're way different mentally and physically. You may be thinking about ice cream while he'll be thinking about ....... other things

Answer 9

I think it depends on the machurity of the people

Answer 10

I don't look down on it, my husband and i are 2yr 9mos apart (3yrs basically). When i was younger i wouldn't talk to the boys my age i hated them and if i was single now i still wouldn't talk to  the boys/men my age ... i think there should be an age difference about 1 - 5 years.

Answer 11

i totallyy agree with youu  people think 3 years is so muchh but reallyy it;s notthis same thing happened to me =]

Answer 12

Because a 13 year old is ALOT different than a 17 year old. Would you go out with someone who was 10?

You both sound like you have your heads on straight, but you still need to relize that at this point there IS a different in your age big enough to matter. As long as he's a great guy, and both of your parents are okay, then there really isnt a big problem, unless you two DO have s*x, then things can turn legal.

Answer 13

Because at that age, it IS a big difference, you may not think it is, but it is.  Life experiences are different for a 14 year old and a 17 year old, the way you look at life is different as well.  All I can say is if your parents approve I guess you are fine then, so why are you bothering to ask here?

Answer 14

I guess it depends on what kind of guy he is, like if he's smart and responsible as you say he is, then there's no reason to look down on you guys.But if he was like into drugs and all of that them the would look down on him for his reputation.

And also because 17 year old want s*x in a girl, and because she thinks that he loves her she'll do it.But he is going to be an adult, and I dont think that that's allegal,

because you Still are only 13.

Answer 15

Because these people were 13 once and were 17 once.  And know theres a big difference.

Answer 16

depends on the person and maturity levels etc, 3 years is a big difference but it doesnt have to be

depending on the people involved.

Answer 17

because it is. it's perfectly fine for, say, a 31 year old and a 34 year old to be together but, say, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. yow! ones only in her 2nd year of high school while the other's already heading off to college!

Answer 18

Some people think that because he is older than you he will try to use you. Which isn't necessarly true. And a lot of people who are not the same age don't always have much in common, like one is more mature than the other.

Answer 19

★ At that age, it IS a big difference. ★